I know this is a terrible condition. I hope you will get some medication to help you with the panic attacks. I am thinking of you!
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I had this for about 20 years and only felt safe in our bathroom. I got an appt with a very good psychiatrist and he got me onto medication. I have been with 4 different psychiatrists (they keep retiring!) and have gotten so much better with medication. Just talk therapy did not help as medication and talk. I feel like I lost a big part of my life, but I am determined to keep going.