@rosez … I am praying for you. Caring for others within their expectations is always difficult, and rarely allows you to feel that you can make a difference. You have been there through thick and thin, standing by your husband's side when he needs you most. It takes strength, courage and commitment to get through it, and compassion for what he is experiencing; I hope he is recognizing the efforts you're making for his well-being. If he isn't, it may be due to the disease. I have a meningioma that affects my emotions when I have symptoms; my feelings are "flat" and I have a lot of difficulty expressing thanks since I don't 'feel' grateful. When it is day-in-day-out 24/7, it wears me out as well. I hope your husband realizes that you are a Godsend to him and loves you more for your care and devotion to him. You deserve it!