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1 day ago · Stress/Anxiety/Insomnia/Memory Issues in Depression & Anxiety

@kimspr3 Thanks, we will see. I'm sorry that you are having such a horrible time with your husband. It isn't easy dealing with someone who is "never wrong." Counseling only works when both people are willing to try. My wife came out of the last one convinced that she was right about everything still. It sounds like your husband was attacking the counselor which will definitely not work. I hope you can get things figured out.

1 day ago · Stress/Anxiety/Insomnia/Memory Issues in Depression & Anxiety

@contentandwell I'm sorry to hear about your leg, that sounds horrible. And to compound it the insomnia has got to make it 10x worse. I hope that the pain is better today and that you will be able to sleep some. Hopefully, tonight you will be able to sleep a full night.

1 day ago · Stress/Anxiety/Insomnia/Memory Issues in Depression & Anxiety

@contentandwell Thanks. I took Mirtazapine last night and I think it helped me sleep. I was awake again at 4:00 am but I was able to get back to sleep for two hours. I woke up with a horrible headache but that has passed for the most part. I do feel a little better today after getting more than my normal amount of sleep. I am hoping a few nights of good sleep and I will feel better. I also am hoping that I won't have the headache in the morning tomorrow but we will see.

I was on lorazepam for a while but weaned myself off of it after my psychiatrist screwed up the prescription and then wouldn't return my calls. My anxiety isn't too bad right now though I think it might be an issue with me getting back to sleep when I wake up at 3:00 or 4:00.

I don't know if I love my wife at this point. I've put up with a lot over the years and I think I am past my breaking point with her. I seem to be only able to remember the negative things now even though I try to remember the good things about the marriage. A lot of it is just emotion since I can't recall all of the things she has said or done. We don't talk about things now and I find I have very little to say to her that doesn't relate to the kids or to something I need to fix for her. I'll call the marriage counselor today and see about getting an appointment. Maybe it would help us at least be able to talk more.

@dmono2019 Thanks for the support!

1 day ago · Experiences with Geriatric ECT in Depression & Anxiety

I had ECT a few years ago and I often wonder if they are part of the cause for my memory issues. I don't know about other people but ECT didn't help my depression at all. I ended up going for ketamine treatments and that helped more than anything else has.

2 days ago · Stress/Anxiety/Insomnia/Memory Issues in Depression & Anxiety

@contentandwell @hopeful33250 Thank you both for the advice. The conversation with my wife went OK. She decided she wants to go to the counselor we saw several years ago after all and asked me to set up the meeting. She said she went to see him last week and I guess it went well. It seems the comment I made about having a buffer to work with us made her understand why counseling is important. I just don't know if I even want to keep trying at this point. I feel like I am dealing with two women when I talk to my wife and I never know which one I will get. This weekend I got the calm one and we were able to talk without a fight starting out. The other problem is I have no memory of the counseling. My memory is pretty much shot at this point and it has been difficult talking to my wife about things since she seems to remember everything perfectly. The times I do remember something that happened, we often have a different recollection of the events and what caused it so I am not sure about what she is telling me at other times.

I guess I am still having problems with all the things that my wife did in the past. I've tried to forgive her and I thought I did for a long time but every time she brings up issues with my mother or other things from the past I'm right back where we were several years ago. I guess the other problem is she still doesn't think she did anything wrong. When I brought up her accusation that I had an affair with her friend's daughter, she just said that the counselor said it may have happened. Needless to say, I didn't have an affair, the girl's parents no longer talk to my wife, and I really doubt the counselor said anything of the sort. I hate admitting I can't fix something but I also know that I can't fix things with my wife without going back to the way things were that pushed me over the edge with the depression. She has said she won't change who she is and I know that's true.

My daughter has always enjoyed cooking and has made a lot of meals and desserts too. I guess the issue for me is that she seems to be making all of her meals now. I took care of breakfast and her lunch again this morning and my wife never made an appearance. My wife has complained that she is a single mother now which really makes me angry since I am there for my daughter to take her to school each day, take her to doctor's appointments, eye glasses, pick her up from soccer, and take her to karate. We spend time talking in the car and I think she knows I am there for her no matter what. I've also been out to the house each weekend to fix things and help my wife with other work around the house.

I'm still not sleeping well and I am basically exhausted. I woke up at 3:30 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep. I think I got about 5 hours last night and I am ready to drop today. The sleep has been getting worse. I am going to call my doctor again today and see what else can be done. I know the buspirone will take a while to be effective but I'm not sure that anxiety is the problem and I can't go another few days without more sleep. I did have a dream last night – it was about having a splinter in my finger – but at least I had it and remembered it. The depression and anxiety aren't really there today so I am doing fine on that front. It's just the insomnia that is the problem at the moment.

I brought my daughter down to see my mother yesterday. My wife had said she didn't want the girls going over to my parents after the big blow up they had. This was the first time my daughter has seen her Grandmother in a long time. I had expected more of a fight from my wife but she was OK with it. I was actually really surprised because of how she has reacted in the past. I'm hoping we can make the visits a few times a month from now on but we will see how that goes. My mom wants to come to one of my daughter's soccer games so I will talk to my wife about that and see if it is a major problem for her.

5 days ago · Stress/Anxiety/Insomnia/Memory Issues in Depression & Anxiety

@jimhd My wife texted me at 2:00 am saying she was hurting and to call her when I woke up. When I did call her, she explained that she didn't sleep last night and missed me. We talked for half an hour and I explained how what she has been doing has hurt me. I also explained that I was upset about her dismissing my daughter's depression by saying she just needed to vent. She started to argue with me and for the first time in a while I shut her down. I told her I didn't want to argue or fight and that this is what I had been talking about her doing. She said that she needed me to argue with her so that she would understand my point. I tried to explain that talking about something was one thing, but fighting about anything where I disagreed with her was pointless. She never felt she was wrong. She even started arguing about what had happened on Sunday. I stopped her and said you already apologized for that and now you are arguing that you did nothing wrong?

She asked me what I wanted to do about the marriage and I said that she had pretty much told me she wanted a divorce. I told her that when she had yelled at me for suggesting the marriage counseling I was pretty upset. I brought up the fact that she wanted to bring a friend along on a date night I had setup as a buffer between us. What is marriage counseling if not a buffer to help us communicate? She finally got the point about the counseling. It won't make a difference but she said she understood what I meant now. She wanted me to take a half day off to talk with her today. I said no, we could talk tomorrow. She gave me a hug as I was leaving. I didn't return it since the last time I tried to give her a hug she pulled away. This bouncing back and forth with her is driving me nuts.

When I saw the therapist yesterday, I went through my entire history with my wife from the day we met until this week. She basically said I had been abused. And, yet, when my wife needs something I am there to help. I know that I need to get divorced since my wife will never change and she will be the end of me if I go back. I've always wanted to fix things, even as a child, and to give up on my 16 year marriage is not easy for me. I know it is hurting my daughters too, my youngest worst of all right now. I pick up my daughter in the morning for school and from soccer in the evening and then take her to karate most nights. I have been making sure she is eating since I realized my wife isn't cooking dinners or helping with breakfast or lunch. I made breakfast and lunch for my daughter yesterday. My daughter made soup for herself last night and got her own breakfast and lunch today. I know she is old enough to take care of herself (she's 15) but to me that is something that a parent should be doing. It will be one of the things that my wife and I talk about tomorrow.

I think I am actually doing better today. I'm angry and not as depressed or anxious. I think being angry is helping me to deal with what I need to do.

5 days ago · Stress/Anxiety/Insomnia/Memory Issues in Depression & Anxiety

@lisalucier Thanks. I took the Buspirone last night but still woke up around 4:30. Will give it a few more nights and see if it helps. I started the Prozac this morning. Hopefully that will start helping in a week or so.
I didn't ask about the memory issues yesterday. I was focused on the sleep issues. In the past, I have been told it was because of the depression and anxiety. That may be the cause or it could be some of the sleep issues. I will have to see if it starts getting better over time.

6 days ago · Stress/Anxiety/Insomnia/Memory Issues in Depression & Anxiety

@gingerw Thanks. I have been trying to figure out why I wake up so early, even when I am taking melatonin. Even when taking a sleep aid. My GP prescribed Buspirone for the anxiety and suggested I take two at night to help with sleep. Going to try that tonight and see how it goes. He also wants me to go back on Prozac which I was on 9 years ago. He thinks that will help with some of the depression I am having right now. Basically, something to help me get through the problems I am dealing with. I'm hoping I can get a good night's rest tonight. It will be the first in a long time.