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Caregivers, Cancer, Healthy Living, Kidney and urinary tract disorders, Mental health disorders, Women's health issues

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Posts (75)

2 days ago · Re: My Scan Results for followup of Renal Cell Carcinoma in Kidney & Bladder

JK, at first I found the idea of going to a psychiatrist a bit insulting. But I have gone through a traumatic event. I think I have some PTSD from this entire ordeal. I lost a kidney! It seems to be bothering me more lately. My oncologist’s nurse told me I was more “anxious”than the average patient that bothered me. I felt she was being very judge mental. I find I tend to be more irritable and annoyed with people and situations. I am impatient and I really dislike being in large crowds of people! Like at a mall or large store. Not phobia just all those people I see then as obstacles. This is not my “normal” me. I have to watch what I say also. I told a woman to get out of the way at a grocery store. She was blocking the aisle with her shopping cart. Normally I would be more polite and move around. But I felt myself become aggressive towards her. This is Not like me at all. So something is or has happened to me psychologically. I think I will see the psychiatrist just to see how it goes. I do need to calm down in general! Having a cancer diagnosis disagreed with me! I don’t like the idea of “interval” living. That’s what I call Surveillance. Every 4 months I will be scannned for a year. So the cycle, the scanxiety, the waiting for results, this will repeat! How do people deal with this? I hope it doesn’t drive me crazy! This coming week I have to see 2 specialists. I don’t want to go! If I develop Mets I really don’t know how I would take that. I am trying to be positive because at present I am cancer free. It is very difficult for me right now. I think is best to see a psychiatrist then reach for a gin and tonic. Thank you checking on me. I appreciate it!

2 days ago · Life after a cancer diagnosis; meeting up with old friends in Cancer

Today I met with some friends and had a drink just like old times before my surgery and cancer diagnosis! I was sick from March to most of May this year then I had surgery, nephrectomy, in May. So I was out for a while and today I went out with some old friends and it felt good! I felt “ normal “ again! Most of these people don’t know about my diagnosis. I don’t share too much with most people just a few close friends. I felt alive again! I had two gin and tonics my favorite drink. It was like meeting up with an old friend, my friend Gin! I haven’t had alcohol in such a long time! But I had to remind myself I have only one kidney! I had to cut my socializing short. I have been so stressed out lately it felt good to unwind! I needed it! But the reality is I need to make sure I drink quality beverages for my kidneys sake!

3 days ago · Re: My Scan Results for followup of Renal Cell Carcinoma in Kidney & Bladder

Ginger, thank you for your reply. I am trying not to let my stress get the best of me. I do become anxious when something new crops up concerning my health. I have never been this way before. Now that I have a “cancer diagnosis” I am stressed out about my health! That is a normal response! My cancer center wants to have me see a psychiatrist for medication to help with my anxiety. Also, they feel I need “coping skills”. I am debating whether to take them up on their offer. I have an appointment with the oncologist this coming week. I will let him know what my expectations are as a patient . I will be reasonable of course. I will have an ultrasound to check out my liver lesion. No one seems to be too impressed with it. My doctors nurse told me I am more “anxious” than the average patient. I am being “labeled”. I realize there are many patients and I am under “surveillance” but they still need to meet my “needs”. I am the “client”. No one really explained the ground rules to me! I don’t intend to sit around and wait for other people to respond! I will aggressively advocate for myself and in so doing I figure it will help other patients. I have “rights” as a patient. I will be writing a carefully worded letter to the cancer centers “administrator”. My care hasn’t been all bad. I will give credit where it is do. I just feel better response time after scans is needed for all Surveillance patients! I will never wait a week for results! I found out my results were available 2 days after they were done. Thanks to Colleen I now know what a “lucent lesion” is. I learn something new all the time! Thanks again Ginger for sharing your thoughts it really helps me put things in perspective! 😊

4 days ago · Re: My Scan Results for followup of Renal Cell Carcinoma in Kidney & Bladder

Colleen, I was very taken by your words. I have never felt so “comforted”. Validation is huge for me and for any stressed out person. I get so little of it. I often feel like I am “alone”. Partly it is my fault because I tend to be a more reserved person. I have always comforted others. This cancer has and is the biggest challenge I have experiencedin my life. I feel my life was turned upside down. It isn’t like me to become distraught but I have too much on my plate. I need to learn to deal with my new life as a cancer patient. Like it or not that is my new reality. I also have to keep on advocating for myself. Thank you so very much. Your words made me feel better. This site is proving to be like my “retreat”. I can come here and people respond to me and offer references and great support! JK, Ginger, Contentandwell, and others have been there for me! I am so grateful for this site and the wonderful people on it. I enjoyed our “tea”. 😊

4 days ago · Re: My Scan Results for followup of Renal Cell Carcinoma in Kidney & Bladder

JK yes being confident our medical team makes a huge difference. You had a liver transplant wow! That’s huge stuff! How the heck did you cope? I often wonder how people make it. I saw two friends struggle with their cancers. I always felt badly for them they had good days and bad. Both of these two wonderful women died June 2019 with 2 weeks of each other. I couldn’t go to their funerals but I was able to see them both before they died. It was so very difficult to see my my friend of many years during her finally days but I am glad I did. Cancer sucks! Thank you JK for your response. I appreciate your sharing your experience.

4 days ago · Re: My Scan Results for followup of Renal Cell Carcinoma in Kidney & Bladder

JK, my life right now revolves on my next doctor appointment, my next test, my next exam etc. etc. I am tired of being prodded and poked and “examined”. It’s all a bit too much! I had a big surgery. That was it I thought. That’s the first big medical thing that had ever happened to me. My friend keeps telling me it’s over don’t worry about it. But it’s not over! It’s like I am in a really bad nightmare that I will never wake up from! I don’t trust my cancer center. I don’t like my PCP much, no offense. I only went to see him in the past for colds or the occasional medical issue. I worry that if I develop Mets I need chemo will my cancer center be there for me? Will I have aggressively advocate for myself as a sick person? I need someone on “my side”. The Mayo Cancer Center sounds better and better. But the grass my not be greener on the other end. My friend mentioned that as well. I just know that the oncologist I met at Mayo in September impressed me. My gut told me he was okay.

4 days ago · Re: My Scan Results for followup of Renal Cell Carcinoma in Kidney & Bladder

Hi Ginger the voice of reason. I must admit I did freak out when I was told I have a leision. They think it’s a complex cyst. I never spoke to my cancer center. My PCP office called me and a nurse told me I need to have an ultrasound to check out this leision/ mass/ cyst! I am just tired of not being a “healthy” person anymore. It’s like my body has betrayed me. That’s how I feel. My anxiety stems from not speaking to anyone about my concerns. It feels as if no one cares! I feel alone. Today a nurse called me from the cancer center asking me how I was. I told her I was frustrated with the “system” the medical treadmill patients are made to run. She told me I was anxious. Yes I am I replied. I have an appointment to see my oncologist next week. So this is the reality of surveillance. Just a waiting game. I wish I could be “doing” something to help myself! So I have been labeled as more anxious than the average patient. My cancer center wants me to see a social worker. As I see it I will be living my life in 4 month intervals. This “interval” I am cancer free maybe. Unless I have a liver cancer/ tumor. Next interval who knows! The more scans the more “stuff” wrong they find. I didn’t sign up for this! I need to find how to live with my new reality!

5 days ago · Re: My Scan Results for followup of Renal Cell Carcinoma in Kidney & Bladder

JK thanks for your reply! It is difficult not to worry. I just need to haveb it checked out. I just want to be at a point where I can deal with things as they come. I have had so much interaction with physicians I don’t like it much! I feel like a guinea pig! Testing and scanning and appointments. My surgery was a big stressor! I feel like I have PTSD! Now this liver cyst. I will need an ultra sound! Such is the life of a cancer patient!