Thanks, Ginger! Since I am a high-functioning person on the autism spectrum, and as a result, I've had social anxiety all my life, I've had counseling off and on for 30 years. The meds are more recent – I think I started those in 2012.
I will start my own thread, because this is amberpep's thread.
The short answer to "please tell us how helping a spouse with BPD affects your day-to-day living, both as an individual and as a couple?"
My spouse has multiple diagnoses, both Borderline Personality Disorder and Gender Dysmorphia (transgender). His and our decline was slow. He self-medicated with drinking, and was sort of functional for quite a while, keeping a job. The thing is, all he did was work, and some cooking. I did everything else. Raised our autistic son, worked part time, most chores, paid bills, made and kept track of appointments, took care of our vehicles, etc.
( I'll continue this later – writing this is harder than I thought.)