Hello to other Caregivers… I've been on Connect for about a year now, but mostly for learning more about Diabetes and Neuropathy.. I was recently diagnosed Diabetic Type 2 and have neuropathy in both feet.. and moving up my legs now.. My husband had been helping me through my new illness, but now our oldest son's Diabetes and Parkinson's have effected him to the point that he said he is ready to stop dialysis. He lives in another state, is not married but has a caregiver who comes in every day to help him with meds, meals, etc. His only child, a daughter (28 years old) lives with him at present, too.. She works full time at a stressful job.. and now I've been here for a month to help him through all his preparations for dying. Some of his friends were here yesterday to have a meal and reminesce old times for one last time.. He has another set of friends that he would like to come see him also, before he stops dialysis. Needless to say, this is a sad sad time for all of us who know and love him..
My main concern for him right now is this: We've been told that by stopping dialysis he will have an easy painless passing.. But if his body begins filling up with fluids that he will suffocate slowly. Of course, as his mom I pray for him to pass on without pain.. and please God, not to suffocate slowly. Hospice has been contacted, but he has declined them starting with him so far. I have talked with him about this, but he does make his own decisions.. He said he doesn't want them in and out of the house to see him. He can't seem to understand that it doesn't have to be that way, but would be a big help emotionally for the rest of us, too..
My son has been hard to get along with for most of his adult life, but now, with our time together we have become so much closer than we were since he was a child. That has been a huge reward for both of us.. We talk openly and freely about his dying and what he wants us all to know now. His daughter has always been dominated by him, but also is ready to get on and live her own life. Her mother is not much part of her life and never has been, but I and her grandpa have always been here for her and she relies on us to be her family.. Of course, we are in our mid-70's and hope to see her with a loving partner someday.. She is bipolar, but on medication and in a program that has already helped her immensely.. She is responsible, cute, and reliable.. and very cautious about who she allows into her life. She has a very responsible job and the company and workmates respect and rely on her technical abilities.
This is the absolute hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I am determined to be here for my little family for the duration. They mean everything to me in this life. but meanwhile, my sweet ole husband is living alone in the next state and I miss him so much. He must be at home though, as he requires peace and quiet. It is far too disruptive for all of us when he is here… sigh…