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Sun, Feb 24 4:19pm · Personality Change of Kidney Transplant Patient in Caregivers

Hi Teresa,

Sure, I can get back to Connect after some time to share my further experience. I actually got here just because I was reading through different articles available online describing how various people changed after they got an organ transplanted from another person – and, many times, how they picked up certain habits, preferences, behaviors etc. from the donor. Which is, in my opinion, another taboo in this society, because of course, who wants to get an organ from, let's say, a nasty person? But, if you need an organ, you don't think twice. So, people often do not think about these things. But the cells do have a memory and patients and their relatives do notice these changes (thankfully, not always bad changes). As I said, this is a very wide topic but yes I do believe that this is possible since I learned certain things about our donor which explains a lot to me. If at least the society helped the caregivers more, that would be nice, but we don't get any real help from anywhere. Anyways, thanks for having me here and I really wish the best to everyone, I wish people were always healthy and nobody would have to suffer in any way.

Sat, Feb 23 8:54pm · Personality Change of Kidney Transplant Patient in Caregivers

Dear all, thanks a lot for your kind words. I can assure you that after 10+ years of caregiving and handling almost everything myself, I already went through the whole internet to read about every possible aspect of the transplant journey. At times I also did participate at various caregiver support forums, etc. however realistically, this won't help you. Because, this reality is here every day, every hour and every second of your life. It won't go away. It just gets worse when over time your husband's personality changes drastically and you are supposed to still take care of an ungrateful person who has no problem yelling at you, putting you down, etc. Yes I talked to church, doctors, friends, God, you name it, but no, it won't help you because first of all, he would have to be willing to go to a psychologist or psychiatrist and he just refuses to do so! He believes that he is totally normal which he clearly is not. I could write a book about this and one day I probably will but I would like to warn everyone to think twice before committing to something like this. I do not expect any special gratitude, I did everything because I truly believed that it was a right thing to do but now I think that I sacrificed my life and my health to something that most likely wasn't worth it. This illness brought down not only him but also me and it is very questionable what is right and what is wrong. I am sure that most patients do understand how much efforts, energy, emotions, etc. is invested by their caregivers to help them in their unfortunate situation however in my specific case, this was an awful experience and if things don't get better I will probably be forced to file for a divorce. Which is against my heart but at some point, I have to protect myself and my child too. I wish you all the best, no worries, I'm fine and will be fine, I just wanted to let people know that these things don't always turn well for caregivers.

Sat, Feb 23 3:43pm · Personality Change of Kidney Transplant Patient in Caregivers

Hello, my husband has been through several transplants and I can also confirm that his personality has changed severely. I have been taking care of him for many years, sacrificing a LOT, went through a lot of trauma and seeing horrible things and after all of that, I am now living with a cold, selfish, self-centered, manipulative calculating monster who only thinks about himself because he believes that he is entitled to everything just because he is sick. It almost feels like a reversed discrimination, a sick person hating a healthy one just because we are healthy and they are not. I am very disappointed that this is the result of the many years of stress and superior care that he received from me. I used to judge people who left their loved ones when they got sick, well, after my bitter experience – not anymore!