First of all, I so appreciate all the replies to my statement & questions. Would love to coordinate my thoughts, but since my memory is fleeting I'll shoot off what comes to mind. In my state MD's have not been able to prescribe for years; however it's almost impossible to find a prescribing psychiatrist/or practioner — thus my PCP has been monitoring me on a monthly basis. Having had an epiphany last night regarding my "ISSUES ( originating in childhood), I can tell you the previous 3 psychiatrists never delved into WHY I I felt deficient (other than my mom) because I presented so " normally." That's why I'm hoping for a nominal med to level my moods. Also, having been off effexor 6+ weeks my mind has more clarity, which is feeling nice. While I want to retreat , I'm too old to give up chunks of my life, and I work 2 days a week. Also teach teens 1 eve in my church; and in order to accomplish this last night I drank 1/2 bottle of white wine before class. So now I've forgotten my other points, but one plus is that my weird sense of humor has returned, which I enjoy. Also, my leg is healing & my hope is to return to gym soon (procrastination seems to have taken hold, though). Getting ready for MD app that. Will get back later with results of visit.