I believe that you are confusing blood calcium with plaque calcium
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I understand how you feel. I am in a similar situation after getting a 1014 score two years ago. Unless or until you become symptomatic it is unlikely that that other than your drug regimen and healthy lifestyle recommendations that there won't be any other medical intervention. The scary thing is that you never know if you are going to have a plaque rupture and end up like your two friends. However, most studies seem to show that negative outcomes are similar whether you stay the course or have stents or bypass. The best course is to just follow your doctor's lead and try to keep a positive outlook. Make sure you recognize the mental toll this can have and talk to your doctor if you think you may need anti anxiety or depression medications until you can cope with your situation.
Have they ruled out anxiety attacks?
Once you have been diagnosed with a high calcium score I think there is little merit in further scans (you already know you are at high risk) and you add another risk since you are exposing yourself to additional radiation.
You should take steps to modify your lifestyle but be aware that while you can reduce the risk a little you are always going to be at high risk. Most major studies put the risk of having a major cardio event or stroke at 20–25% within a year with a CAC over 1000 (and asymptomatic!), and a likelihood that an event is probable in 3-5 years.
In addition to lifestyle modifications I think that cognitive behavior treatment can be helpful to help you understand and cope with the stress that such a diagnosis can cause.
Back in the spring while in my yard my entire left side of my face went numb and I thought I might be having a stroke. Nobody was around to see if I had any other symptoms (drooping face, slurred speech, etc.) and it passed in a minute or two and I went about my business. It wasn't until I had my calcium score done and scored 1014 and diagnosed with advanced coronary artery disease and had a carotid scan showing bilateral blockages up to 39% that I thought about it again. I assumed then that it was a TIA but my cardiologist wants me to go to a neurologist. I didn't realize that there could be other reasons for this symptom.
This is not that bad, usually 400 is when it is considered high risk and over 1000 for very high risk (I'm 1014). You also have to consider your age and what percentile the score puts you in. I would be more concerned about the abnormal EKG than the calcium score. Your doctor would have taken a more aggressive approach if you were at high risk of an event short term so try to relax until you see the cardiologist.
Next step will probably be a stress test, and if that indicates any blockages a cath may be done and further procedures like stents or bypass may be indicated. I do know someone who had a score of 1100 and was apparently healthy and asymptomatic and his cardiologist went straight to a cath which led to an immediate double bypass. A lot depends not only on your husband's actual condition but on how aggressive the cardiologist is in his treatment approach. The anxiety and stress in this situation can be hard on the patient and on the spouse so make sure that you are aware of the mental affect and take care of yourselves. The important thing is that this was caught before he had any major event so that it can be fixed, Best of luck.