lisalucier, Thanks for the note! It seems I've developed an "attitude" which puts people off, but I'll get over it, the VA is helping me with therapists, and now a psychiatrist I tele-conference with from Stanford U. They want me to recall different things and stuff which make me so defensive/offensive???
One thing occurred in the Army where a Sargent pulled a .45 pistol on me and pointed it at my face and pulled the trigger, I cursed him a lot. "It's not loaded!" Stupid person, all guns are loaded. Latter he was bothering me while I was sleeping, he started throwing darts at me and poking holes in the freshly painted walls above my head, I finally grabbed a dart and flung it at him, not like playing darts but like a weapon. The dart stuck in the wall right inches above his head, they left me alone as they determined I was upset. Could have gone to prison if my aim was better.
Anyway the docs want me to talk about the many "violent" episodes and other things in my life to figure "What is your main malfunction?" I'll get it!
Thanks for asking and maybe I'll come back to this site more often as it's helped a lot. Our divorce is final on the 27th.