@kdo0827 I cant imagine how you must be feeling. When I was weaned off of Celexa, I had severe panic attacks. Scary stuff. Hope you get through this soon, thinking of you.
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@elwoodsdad, My darkest episodes also always come from major life changes. When I unexpectedly lost my12.5yo black lab, Molly, a cloud descended that didn't lift for months, even with the companionship of my newest rescued dog. I liken my episodes to walking underwater. I cant feel, think, or care about anything. I try to keep as busy as possible but am still bored because nothing seems to matter. Life is full of rote responses and actions. I never get enough sleep. I don't feel hungry. I feel angry with God for letting this depression exist. The only thing that gets me through each episode, no matter how long they are, is to remember I always have before and will again. You will too, keep hold of that.
@ladybugmg You cant, no one can. That's the most difficult part, maybe I just have to wait or maybe I need to stop looking. Maybe it will never fully arrive but Im hopeful to at least obtain a modicum of peace at some point in this lifetime. Im happy to know you have found what works for you.
@parus While Im not all that old, I feel old and useless. Long distance significant other that doesn't need me, no children, feel unwanted and useless at work, cant care about anything long enough to have a real hobby, family lives 5 hrs away, number of true friends countable on one hand, etc. Talk therapy doesn't work anymore. Really the only thing that keeps me going is my dog and a couple of friends. I know how you feel…