Thank you for your feedback. It's very true that reading the stories here is helping me. I feel less alone in my lifequest when I read the other struggles with panic attacks.
I must say that I lead a quit life now, away from the rat race in the big city. Once I was very keen on "scoring" in my job, get promotions and so. But when I finally got there it was no fun, not what I expected. The anxiety troubles just went along and changed perhaps their outer appearances but inside It was just the same..
I had more money to spend but that didn't did the trick. A panic attack in a Mercedes is the same as having one walking the streets..
When I had to deal with unfortunate aggression of one of my clients (I ended up in hospital) I had a rather big implosion. I could not walk the streets because of the fear for another anxiety attack and was hyperventilating a lot. Agoraphobia kicked in..
The real big change happened when I quit my job in the city and moved away to the countryside . I live in a small village now, everything is green and trees and a nice house..two cats in the yard like in the song.
That works for me. I do have anxiety attacks every once and a while, but much much less than I had in the city.
Only .. at this moment I am having a hard time getting accepted by my social contacts.. Some things I can and some I cannot.
I would like it very much to get it out of my system but I am not there yet. But the positive side is that I accept it from myself. It is a part of me now but I try to live my life as normal as is possible. When I have to do something challenging …( for me that is…) I tend to take half a pil in advance. Most of the time that's enough.
But when I am having a bad one I just take the pil, or two, and it all goes away in about 20 minutes..