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Mon, May 13 5:13pm · How to handle medical problems, perhaps hospital when agoraphobic? in Depression & Anxiety

Hi, just a quick word, I will reply later to you. Thanks for your kind words and advice. I am in a bit of a state right now.. but I will reply in a more decent way later.. sigh..

Mon, May 6 4:55pm · How to handle medical problems, perhaps hospital when agoraphobic? in Depression & Anxiety

Hi everyone, hope I can get some advice, because I'm pretty desperate.. I have been an agoraphobic for years and I I handling my day to day life rather good so far with the help of a few pills (valium if necessery) .

But know I am confronted with some medical issues that bother me very much. Since a few weeks I have been having issues with pain in my.. well it's downstairs so to say. After a few weeks I went to the doctor and he said I have an inflammation . Gave me an antibiotic treatment for ten days. Ciprofloxacine 500 mg twice a day.
At first it seemed to help but today is a bad day again. He told me that he wanted to see me again, because had to examine me some more but that would hurt too much at that moment. (…..)

Now the ten days are almost over and it really didn't do too much.. In my darkest imagination I think: "youll see .. prostate cancer or testical cancer and then you have to go to the hospital and have all kind of operations … " – and I literally can't do that with my panic and agoraphobia…
It is a terrible dillemma and I am making myself crazy with dark thoughts..
I am a bit older yes, 65.. but don't want to die just now. (My neigbour and next door neighbour were diagnosed with prostate cancer , that left a mark on me… dark scaring thoughts running through my head all the time.)

Anyone in this position or some advice please? Because I think I rather duck and cover and avoid the second meeting with my GP.. wait it out. Maybe it will pass..

Please don't judge me for writing such an appearingly trivial problem.. For me it is Huge. The mere thought of hospital ..or being diagnosed with all kind of serieus diseases… I am overwhelmed at the moment.. Maybe it's all in my head and mayby every man has some trouble with it.. I haven't a clue .

Greetings to you all ..

Mon, Mar 11 3:56am · Over the counter anxiety medicine in Depression & Anxiety

I wondered about that for a long time. Why do I get these panic attacks? and even more puzzling: why not… when I am clearly in a stress situation?

My guess is that we, this group, or people like us with panic attacks and phobia and such, are sensitive people, maybe very sensitive. That combined with low self esteem or a bad youth – I was beaten up by my dad when I was a kid, in his nonsensical way of bringing up a kid. I don't hold a grudge against him for that – only pity him for being a victim too (was taken to Germany in the war and made it back)

So I grew up as an insecure kid who had his bravour to get along in life. And that went well for a long time, during my time as a student, in the army, working for the government.

It was only after I chose for myself in life and quit my job at the government to get my degree in social work, and, shortly after that, my first giant panic attack occurred…I remember it vividly..

Not really a coincidence.. After doing what was expected from me – get promotions, work for the government, have status.. doing all those things I decided to change my life for what I thougt was right for me. And thus shaking of this straitjacket of expectations.

That looks nice when I write that down like that. And it was -I must say. But here is the catch – and I return to the question asked: the Why – I wasn't aware that there is always a connection between cause and consequence luring ..

In my case I shook off the yoke of my upbringing and did not fullfill the expectations of my father anymore. Hurrah… But the downside is that while doing what I wanted I also gave up the certainties in life .. doing what others want me to do and going my own way

Doing what other people expected -or more to the point, a piece of me that was modelled in my youth and adolescence – had its benefits: doing the right things, good boy. don't get hit, get some sort of appreciation. Comfortably.

But when loosing that I had to get my certainties in life from something else and that is where the struggle began. I did allright I think but it laid the base of a basic insecurity. Went well for a long time. But when some traumatic events took place (I won't bother you with details) it went bad. Panic attacks, agoraphobia, you name it.

I still have to realize that only me can be the base of confidence in life..
When put in a situation when I still have to depend on others, give up control, I risk getting panic attacks and the rest of the long list of symptoms that you likely know very well.

Unfortunatly there are situations in life that you have to give up control. Like a visit to the dentist – you lay there in this chair, completely handed down and with almost no control over the situation. The highway in car: you have to drive in this lane, and with the speed that the rest is dictating.. Waiting in line in a busy mall waiting your turn.. the list is endless. Fill in your own worst scenarios..

I think that is at least a part of the Why. The other part is being susceptible for this specific condition – who knows. Could be a physical, natural lack of serotonin levels probably. That is why a lot of people benefit from pills that correct that, like all sorts of SSRI's like Citalopram or whatever.

Why some people just get a "normal" gastric ulcer or high blood pressure instead off panic attacks..? I gave up to even think about that . It is a fact that we have to deal with.. one way or the other. The sneakyness (is that a word) of our specific challenges is that it has the risc of acceptance of the limitations and thus making our lives smaller and tinier and less fun as it should be. and as we are entitled to.

Hope I didn't put too many words here. Maybe someone recognizes patterns and get a bit more understanding.. thats why I noted this down.

Sat, Mar 9 12:39pm · Over the counter anxiety medicine in Depression & Anxiety

I understand your fears totally, had many of these panic attacks in earlier years unfortunatly.
Highways, elevators, long walks with the dog in the woods, avoiding sociaal events..

What I learned is not never ever avoid these challenging circumstances!
I did just that for a long time and thus limiting my life and joy in life..
With help from some pills – not heavy stuff- I started to do these things again.
Costs a lot of accepting the fears and while knowing that the panic can strike again, still do it anyway….
OK not big challenges at first but gradually you pick up your life again.
The thing is to continue doing things that make you panic.
But please… do not close that door..by saying that you wont do that anymore..
Try getting real help, take pills or whatever and keep on going.
I don't want to oversimple your anxiety. Been there, done that believe me. It can really get to you, I know.
But fight it. Take back your life..
My two cents at least.

I wish you well.

Tue, Jan 29 4:20pm · Agoraphobia in Mental Health

Hi @blue81

First of all, it is a good step to write down your problems here in this group. That's a start, isn't it?
You talk about your agoraphobia and anxiety, and the use of medicine. Now I know that a lot of medicines can help you, but – imho – only are really effective if combined with talking to somebody with knowledge of your challenge.

I had benefits of this combination,pills and some sort of therapy. What therapy is up to you ofcourse, please be active in searching for the right one for you. Just don't do nothing or only take pills..

To answer your question; yes I did cope with this similar situation. It was hard work and with the help of some pills (just to get the nerves calmed, nothing too invasive) and after some time I could do these things again. Visiting people, going out for fun. Don't forget that by the way… you missing a lot of fun in life. It is your right to take that back!

I am not informed how this condition has come up, but perhaps you could take a look at that. And try to deal with that. There is allways a reason. Apart from being sensitive in general.

Hope that I say something meaningfull – it is well ment.
Keep up the struggle! and everything that yoy do more often is getting easier. So this 5 minutes .. keep them going, and then 10. Accept your anxiety but still do it. Every time a little more. Easy said? Nope. I learned that the hard way, and it pays off.

May 27, 2018 · Over the counter anxiety medicine in Depression & Anxiety

Hello Lisa,

Thank you for your feedback. It's very true that reading the stories here is helping me. I feel less alone in my lifequest when I read the other struggles with panic attacks.
I must say that I lead a quit life now, away from the rat race in the big city. Once I was very keen on "scoring" in my job, get promotions and so. But when I finally got there it was no fun, not what I expected. The anxiety troubles just went along and changed perhaps their outer appearances but inside It was just the same..
I had more money to spend but that didn't did the trick. A panic attack in a Mercedes is the same as having one walking the streets..

When I had to deal with unfortunate aggression of one of my clients (I ended up in hospital) I had a rather big implosion. I could not walk the streets because of the fear for another anxiety attack and was hyperventilating a lot. Agoraphobia kicked in..

The real big change happened when I quit my job in the city and moved away to the countryside . I live in a small village now, everything is green and trees and a nice house..two cats in the yard like in the song.

That works for me. I do have anxiety attacks every once and a while, but much much less than I had in the city.
Only .. at this moment I am having a hard time getting accepted by my social contacts.. Some things I can and some I cannot.

I would like it very much to get it out of my system but I am not there yet. But the positive side is that I accept it from myself. It is a part of me now but I try to live my life as normal as is possible. When I have to do something challenging …( for me that is…) I tend to take half a pil in advance. Most of the time that's enough.

But when I am having a bad one I just take the pil, or two, and it all goes away in about 20 minutes..

May 22, 2018 · Over the counter anxiety medicine in Depression & Anxiety

I have tried a number of over the counter products but none of them did the trick, Only got me unwanted side effects. I get anxiety and panic attacks while on a long trip from home and a few situations, like at the dentist.

Thanks for mentioning this in other postings – I feel really a fool for having them, glad to see I'm not the only one…

My doctor described me diazepam/valium 5 mg whenever I have a panic attack and that's the only thing that really works for me. My doctor said that it is a rather straight forward product and more trusted by him than a lot of stuff you can buy in a drugstore…
I just use CBD oil and that helps me with sleeping.

That's my two cents and personal experience. I admire people who can breathe away panic attacks or achieving that with mindfull thinking etc. Maybe I must work on that but now I have my hands full to just hang on..