Thank you for sharing your experiences. I can understand having to live in such a paradox. Looking just fine on the outside, but struggling on the inside. I too, live that kind of a life and often find that people don't believe me when I tell them what its like for me. My family did a podcast on what its like to live with me. We address some of the issues you talk about. Please look it up and listen to it. My hope is that after hearing it, you won't feel so alone. Into your computer's search function type: podcast terrible thanks for asking. That should get you to the podcasts home page. Listen to episode 5 from season one. That's me and my family. I hope this helps. Please continue to share on this blog. We are here for each other.