Dear Fernanda……I’d like to encourage you with a “you do sooo well”….but sometimes that is not what we want to hear, is it? Because sometimes we don’t do well. I really need to hear these little successes other mothers have managed to find in their daily lives with all the cares and needs required. We don’t need sympathy….just another one who understands.
I want to be a happy and loving contributor to my children’s lives and to know I can help, comfort and nuture them and know that they are coping with their difficulties and are doing the best they can do. I want to be able to see their little accomplishments and make these mean more to me instead of always wishing they could do better.
I was included at a large (200+ people) special education conference 6-7 years ago and came away feeling really uplifted because I could see there are so many special need children out there and there are so many that spend their life helping fulfil these children. I want to be able to do this too. So I struggle on, day after day….forward 1/2 step, back 2….forward another 1/2 step, back 2…..not able to see that maybe there is more progress being accomplished than I realize because I am so caught up with all the details.
I can see the little things for you include 1 hour a week w/others in similar situations, a bicycle, enjoying your play time with your children and giving it your full attention, 10 minutes of meditation and time to read before bed. These little times turn into very big moments of “recharging” yourself and do add up. Yes….this is needed. I’d like to think I was organized enough to do this, but tend to just “shut down” and plod along trying to “tune out” things until the next crises hits. There doesn’t seem to be any time I can schedule to rely on others to “take over” so I can get this total relief. I’ve always something on my mind or a need somewhere.
So I will think on what you’ve said and make another attempt at this. I’m trying to make it an issue to walk 1 mile a day – takes about 20 minutes and this MUST happen and my family must come to see how important this is to me. But I need to see the necessity of it before I can show them, don’t I? I think this little goal will help me in quite a few areas.
I go back to the doctor today after a month now on my latest anxiety meds. I do feel calmer…but wonder if it’s not the best for my tummy. Thank you for your time and take care, Joanie