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Posts (34)

Mon, Apr 20 5:02am · Anyone Else With PTSD? in Mental Health

Hello Everyone, just a quick note to let you know I am still doing well from my last episode with PTSD symptoms. I spoke with my DR. and she applauded me on my self help skills and a quick recovery. I just want everyone to know there is life with PTSD. Learning coping skills can help a lot when you feel the symptoms coming on. Everyone is different in which skills help the best but please seek to learn how to deal with PTSD symptoms. It helps me to write things down, not because I will forget but as a reminder that these feelings are not harmful, just uncomfortable. Sometimes putting your feelings on paper or on a forum such as this one can make a difference. Believe it or not, you can get through this but you have to put forth an effort. Healing won't come to you, you have to go to it. Be determined, refuse to be a victim any longer, make the first move and stick with it. Seek professional help, and start loving yourself. Until the next time, God Bless Jeanie26

Wed, Apr 15 4:34am · Anyone Else With PTSD? in Mental Health

Blindeyepug, I totally agree with your insite and self help. From one survivor to another, I am very concerned about your being stalked by this therapist. I am sure you have tried to stop this madness. Would you please give us an update on that situation? thanks

Fri, Apr 10 4:04pm · Anyone Else With PTSD? in Mental Health

Ginger, thank you for your reply, Yes this site is a God send for me. I feel I am back in control now and I am once again OK. I will be back, trust me I will, I have found a new home here and have already heard from some of the nicest people around. Yes writing thing out help me too, I love to write and I write a lot. But it helps to receive feedback too. I am glad I can make a difference and I think I am going to hang around and see if I can be of any help to anyone else. Thanks again.. Jeanie.

Fri, Apr 10 3:54pm · Anyone Else With PTSD? in Mental Health

Oh Peach, I totally understand, This is my first set back since my recovery but I have learned a lot of this experience. I will never again take my recovery for granted. Recovery is ongoing with PTSD. and I have always known that but this validated everything I ever learned about PTSD. I am so sorry that you are experiencing these terrible feelings more often. Sometimes it helps me to get down right angry at this disorder, How dare it interfere in my life, I say, oh no you don't, I will not allow you to enter my thoughts and case me to feel uncomfortable. I say a prayer and I fight my way back from the depths hell. This will NOT defeat me. Thank you for your invitation to visit your garden, consider it a done deal. I know it's a beautiful place and I am honored to be there with you. thanks Jeanie

Fri, Apr 10 3:36pm · Anyone Else With PTSD? in Mental Health

Thank you so much for these numbers. I am feeling at the top of my game again but from experience I know we can never be to careful. Having resources readily available is never a bad idea. I am pretty much in this alone. I live in the country and being very private I prefer not to be social with my neighbors,Everyone pretty much minds their own business. I've lived her for 19 years and have never met the folks down the road. My granddaughter and her family live about 15 minutes away but haven't even called to see if I was ok. so I can't really depend on them, my grandson lives in Va. about 45 minutes away and the same goes for him. My son lives about 20 miles away but he is suffering from mental health issues and has come a long way, I am so proud of him for following through with the program he is involved in. It would take him too long to get here and I don't want to do anything that would interfere with his recovery. I did call him to come make his friend leave and it bothered him alot. I have been alone in my recovery even years ago so I an not encouraged to involve anyone else. I feel totally in control now, I have no fear, and am again comfortable in my own home. But this has shown me that PTSD can raise it;s ugly head at any time. This was my first set back in over 20 years of recovery. I feel good about the way I handled it and I do intend to follow through with my Dr. at our appointment next week. This site has breathed fresh air into me when I needed it. I am still amazed at how much it has helped me. I will remember this experience for years to come. I think I just might hang around on here and see if I can be a part of helping someone else. I am home again.

Fri, Apr 10 2:31pm · Anyone Else With PTSD? in Mental Health

Thank you Marjou, It's nice to have our efforts recognized. I think battered women stay in abusive relationships because it's familiar and as with me I didn't know any other life. I couldn't picture myself in any other scenario, it was the norm for me. It wasn't until I went to the shelter and felt safe for the first time that I was able to think outside the box. Love, safety, happiness was only something I saw on TV and we all know that's not real..But boy once I got started with my recovery there was no stopping me. I became my own best friend. I loved ME for the first time and I loved the feeling of conquering my demons. Success is not measured in time, but in effort. There IS life after abuse and I am living proof of that. After 40 years of abuse, I fought to find and keep that which is rightfully mine, a life full of love, safety and happiness. My goal now is to reach out to others and help them find their way home, to help them see there is another way of life. I am at the beginning of writing a book of my experiences and how I fixed my life. How I empowered myself to to think differently, and how they can do it too. With the help of God I overcame and I want others to know they can too. Thanks for your reply… Jeanie

Fri, Apr 10 11:53am · Anyone Else With PTSD? in Mental Health

My neighbors are not close enough to be of any help, The man does not have a house key,My son also moved out before I had a problem with his friend. My son came and ask him to leave so they are both gone now. I love having my home back to myself if it weren't for feeling so vulnerable right now. What I lack in physical strength I make up for in the ability to stay calm in emergency situations and to think on my feet. I carry my cell phone with me always and won't hesitate to call 911 if needed. My concern is that the initial crisis has past but I am being left with all the PTSD symptoms as though the threat were actually still there even though it is not. As I write this I have to ask myself what I have gained from posting on this site. My answer would be a lot. I feel so much better than I did before I posted last night. I think we all know that verbalizing a problem will often give it less power and lessens its importance and in turn we feel better. I actually feel I am once again on the road to recovery thanks to this site giving me a place to express myself. Once I feel secure with my recovery, I will want to post again with hopes of helping someone else. Thank you so much for replying to my post and for the opportunity to find awareness in my own situation. It's extremely important to me that I help others and this site is going to enable me to do that. Thank you again.& until then, have a blessed day. Jeanie

Fri, Apr 10 12:45am · Anyone Else With PTSD? in Mental Health

Hello everyone, I am not sure how or where to begin so I am going to just jump in there and see what happens. First of all I want to address those who still struggle with PTSD. I have had PTSD most of my life. It began with my father who at one time told me i was never wanted and placing a loaded gun in my hands, suggested I do the world a big favor and just pull the trigger, I was 10 years old, all because my sister was 4 years old and had had a nightmare, her crying disturbed his poker game. I told him that it was me that had a nightmare, I couldn't bear the thought of her getting into trouble. Anyhow, as I was growing up my mother lost her battle with cancer, I was only 1 week 16 years old and I had invested 3 years tending to my younger sisters and brother. I married 3 months after my mother died. I had my first baby at 17 and my second at 18. 2 beautiful, healthy baby girls. just what I wanted. Over the next 30 plus years, I lived with nothing but abuse. Being attracted to men like my father, as with a lot of women , the abuse simply begins with your father but ends with someone just like him. One day I was able to escape a dangerous situation, like most battered women, I was lost. I made it to a telephone and dialed 0. within seconds a woman called me back and gave me direction to someplace safe. It turns out it was a shelter for battered women. I didn't even know such a place existed. I was so traumatized I spent most of my time in a corner just watching and wondering how the other women could smile, and go about cooking, cleaning and taking care of their children like nothing ever happened. I jumped at every little noise. Finally, I was introduced to a counselor. I must have looked terrible because she gasp when she saw me. I liked her, slowly I began to apply some coping skills I had been taught. One day I was sitting in the living room and noticed I felt very strange. The feeling was completely foreign to me. As I pondered over this strange new feeling, I come to realize it was "safe" , I actually felt safe, probably for the first time in my life and I liked it. I was in complete awe over my new found feeling, I began to get stronger, like my battery was being charged. I felt fully aware of my past abuses and right then and there decided I would never be abused again. It took me years to recover but I was strong enough to fight for my sanity. I was determined to get control of the flash backs, the anxiety and the depression, I cried, I was angry, I was hurt, and I was afraid, but over the next 20 years I did what ever I had to do to put my past in the past and live for today. I became a successful nurse and my goal in life was to be the best grandmother and great grandmother that I could be. I bought my own home in the country, I had made it. I MADE IT. I was free of the past, no more flashbacks, no more looking over my shoulder, no more nightmares, NO MORE FEAR. I had not only won the battle but I had won the war. I forgave my father and all my abusers, I was no longer bitter, angry or fearful of them. It was a long journey but well worth it. I truly believe my purpose in life, my reason for living aside from being a good grandma was to help people in any way I could. I have sacrificed a lot and I am ok with that. I give till it hurts but I am ok with that too. Not long ago my son moved in with me and brought a homeless friend with him. Naturally, I took on the job of fixing both of them. Recently I had to ask the friend to leave. I really hated to do it but he was smoking pot and his behavior was down right psychotic, I did everything I could to persuade him to get some help but he refused so as hard as it was I had no choice. He came back the next day and wanted to talk, I told him no there's nothing to talk about. My grandson had to come over and ask him to leave.. I have gone through a lot since my recovery, I lost my youngest daughter to a motorcycle accident, more than a few friend have died. my house burned down and I lost everything, but I provaled . But because of the young man and what he put me through with his psychotic behavior, I have been experiencing PTSD symptoms all over again. I am very vigilant, I don't even take a shower because I would be too vulnerable. I lock my doors and yet at night I lock myself and my dog in my bedroom as well. I bought security cameras that I have placed at my front door and one at my back door, I have a camera in my kitchen and one in my living room and can monitor all 4 from my phone. It's been a week today since he was ask to leave. I really don't think he would hurt me but then again I don't know that for sure. Right now I am trying to figure out why this was so disturbing for me. He didn't threaten me. He has never hurt me, and yet I feel I am over reacting to the whole thing, but these PTSD symptoms are very real indeed. The flashbacks, the anxiety, and the depression are at times almost unbearable. I thought these feeling where over and done with, I fought so long and so hard to get to where I was a week ago. I was on top of the world. I feel like a failure. Is it going to take me another 20 years ? and why did this trigger such feelings? I am 72 years old and I don't have 20 more years to gain control. I am depressed because of my failing. I must have let my guard down for just a second, how could I allow something like this to affect me in such a horrific way. I am fighting this with everything I have in me. I will win this battle again but I don't know that I will win the war. I also quit my job today doing private duty once a week. I am in pain most of the time with a bad back and retired 6 years ago so because of my back my Dr. suggested I retire full time. God I am going to miss working. I have been in the medical field for over 50 years and I feel a loss of something I always held dear. I no longer feel safe, I am uncomfortable in my own home, I am constantly on guard, I am not sleeping well, I can't eat without feeling sick. I am in so much pain that I can't relax. Standing outside myself, I think I am over reacting to something that is not what I am making it out to be. I honestly feel that no harm will come to me and my better judgment tells me i am okay. BUT I don't feel okay. I have a DR. that wil be calling me next week. I am a Navy veteran and go to the VA for all my medical needs but since the virus is here things are being done a little differently so this is a real struggle for me right now. I am so grateful for this site, I feel a little better having been able to vent. Thank you so much for being there when I needed you the most…