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Kelsey Mohring

Posts: 299
Joined: Feb 24, 2015

Filza Hussain, M.D., a psychiatrist at Mayo Clinic, encourages us to snap [...]

Posted by @kelseydm, Apr 30, 2015

Filza Hussain, M.D., a psychiatrist at Mayo Clinic, encourages us to snap out of expecting to snap out of depression. Our relationship with the word depression is quite paradoxical. Although, on the one hand, we so freely admit that we are depressed because our team lost the Super Bowl or because the store doesn’t carry a desired outfit in our size, when it comes to talking about clinical depression, the stigma attached with the word comes out in full force.

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I know I’m stuck w/ it forever. I have my docs, my meds, my social supports and my routines to keep me in shape and most of the time, they work. Occasionally, they don’t. That’s when a few of my friends expect me to just “snap out of it” or “fight it”. I find that advice extremely irritating and sometimes just downright mean. If it were that simple, don’t they think I would do it? The failure of many people to understand how immobilizing depression can be causes more pain and sadness. So I have learned to say nothing and hide it, which I am very good at doing, but that is alienating, and makes me feel lonelier than i was already feeling.

The only solution I have come up with is to use these friends for superficial activities and save what is in my heart for the few friends who can listen and tolerate my pain without judging or trying to “fix” me. The problem is that I recently moved and all these friends are over 1,000 miles away and the “new friends” are the ones in my new neighborhood. When I get depressed, which I occasionally do, I feel alone and isolated. My understanding friends are usually out and about and unreachable by phone.

So I watch a cheery movie, or one in which people REALLY have problems (like Band of Brothers), read, or play pickleball (if I can get myself moving), until the feeling passes. Many times I eat cookies/candy/cake which is not a good solution but “better fat than dead” is how I look at it.

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