Is yelling and over-talking a part of dementia?
His doctor said he has early onset dementia. Normally he is very pleasant, but about once a month, he answers a my question (not an angry one) with a tirade of "explanation" which is loud and overtalking me, lasting for maybe 10 min. Sometimes I leave, but I can't always if it is late at night. This last time I got angry back, which is scary and not part of my personality. We live far from our children so I have no one nearby. My question is: is yelling and overtalking a part of dementia?
Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers: Dementia Support Group.
Hi @maryflorida, that must be disconcerting to experience such out of character tirades from your partner at random moments. Yelling, screaming, crying and other verbal changes can be a part of dementia. @virginianaeve @dianajane @pattyinal @grecarmar @rmftucker @jodeej @adv may also have experience with this type of behavior.
Mary, I can imagine that you didn't like that you got angry back and witnessed a behavior that isn't part of your personality either. But it happens. I hope you will be kind to yourself and forgive yourself as you would others. Even leaving isn't an option, like when this happens late at night, have you come up with other strategies that might help you and him?
My husband had similar behavior early in the course of his dementia in that he would misunderstand the tone or intent of a statement or question.
A question like "Honey, do you know where the thingamajig is?" would be interpreted as "You moron you've obviously lost the thingamajig!"
A big consideration is whether or not your husband frequently has trouble following conversation or instructions in situations that do not induce a defensive reaction. Such as asking him to fetch a bag of flour from the pantry and he brings green beans, if anything. Not so much a memory problem as a misapprehension – he's sure you said 'green beans.' (aphasia?)
It's worth examining the circumstances around the incidents your husband experiences. Particularly breaks in household routines or anything that could leave him more tired or overstimulated than usual. Does it happen more frequently in the kitchen or living room? In the car?
Prior to his dementia my husband was about as emotionally intelligent as a lump of coal. But from his early onset days to the end he could tell if I was anxious or harassed no matter how well I thought I was concealing it. And he would respond accordingly.
Please understand that I'm not suggesting any deficits in your behavior. Just another possibility that bears examination.
The oft-repeated rule of thumb in dementia handling is the "never argue with them" rule. Good advice. If he thinks I said 'green beans' my response would be "damn, I meant to say flour!"
But sometimes he would still think I was arguing or stomping around, only thing that helped was to get out of sight for a little while.
I am dealing with some of the same kind of issues. My husband gets annoyed at something and gets angry at something and storms out. He says he is leaving but is over it the next day. The yelling and impulsiveness shakes me up quiet a bi
Good morning @snowwhite77 Welcome to Connect. It sounds like things can sometimes be difficult with your husband’s anger and annoyance. Is this behavior something new? Have you spoken to his doctor about it? I’m going to ask @burnt2acrisp @virginianaeve. @pattyinal @rfmtucker. @jodeej if they have any helpful information on dealing with this.
I understand that, for you, this must be so difficult. How do you manage your feelings?
@snowwhite777 Has anything settled down with your husband? Has he been able to see a doctor and get some help? And mostly, how are you coping?
He had a colonoscopy and his blood oxygen went down to below 60/ We knew he had sleep apnea. He found this out years ago but couldn't handle the CPAP machine. He has REM sleep disorder also. So now we are wondering if some of his MCI is from these disorders.
@snowwhite77 Have his doctors said that there could be a correlation btw. the sleep apnea and MCI!? I need to do some looking around. What is being done for the REM sleep disorder?
@snowwhite77 I found this article for you about the possibilities of a connection between sleep apnea and MCI. Hope this answers some of your questions. Becky
He is taking a1mg tranquilizer at night for the REM. We are exploring this.
Thank you Becky for this info. Hopefully a dr. will be interested in reading it but it is so hard to get anyone to take the time to explore it,