Learn how to use Mayo Clinic Connect
Request an Appointment
I am wondering what we older people will do when we don't have children who can help us
Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers group.
I did want to add to my long post from yesterday. Regarding support and friends and feeling not alone…the only way I've found that works is to be the person who GIVES support. When I was severely depressed and didn't want to live, I worked on a suicide crisis hot line. I've always volunteered or found employment working as a counselor/emotional support person for extreme mental issues, because I've always had extreme mental issues of my own, and still do. I'm looking into volunteering in suicide prevention and maybe starting a peer support group. So to receive the emotional support that I've always needed, I have found that when I give my energy to others who need the same thing, I get it right back. It's a circle.
Jump to this post
@georgette12 I really like your statement “when I give my energy to others who need the same thing, I get it right back” So true! How has this helped you?
@georgette this is something I think about a lot. Our families may be smaller than they once were and members are scattered across the globe. There is often no one to help other than friends or neighbors and if you’re like me, there is only so much you want to or can impose on them. And married or not, one of the spouses will one day be alone and in the same position a single person is.
I agree with you, @susan2018 This is a very complicated issue! In my wife's case, as she waged her war against brain cancer I was there as her caregiver. When I need care no spousal care will be around for me. She desperately wanted to keep her illness from 'becoming our children's issue'. I feel the same so again my options shrink again.
Friends, neighbors, and extended family all have lives of their own to focus on and who's to know when their own health may falter, etc. We moved into our neighborhood 17 years ago. Only one of our neighbors is the same today as they were then — in all directions. People are far more fluid and transient than they used to be. Society has simply changed. Growing up all my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. were within blocks of our home. Now there is not a single member of our extended family in that city and only two in the entire state.
It seems to me it is going to take society awhile to catch up with the changes that have occurred and keep occurring at an ever faster pace.
Create an account to connect with other patients and caregivers like you.Ask questions, get answers, and give and get support.Also follow blogs from Mayo Clinic experts.
Already have an account? Sign In