I'm not usually to complain or open up but my friend thinks I need to seek help.
at night I tend to have freak outs, I start crying ridiculously and scratching myself which then when it calms down sort of I immediately go in to a thought process of sex sex sex or alcohol alcohol or drugs drugs which I'm sure that isnt the most healthy even if I don't have an addictive personality.
those are the regular nights but then on certain nights it'll get worse I've never committed self harm but when it gets bad I have gotten very close and I'll start hitting myself and pulling my hair out.
I've never been diagnosed with anything, never talked to anyone either.
I know certain things in my past may be the cause (divorce parents, child molested, people always leaving, trust issues etc)
Also I'm not an upset person normally in any way I'm usually very happy and optimistic.