What if suspect pain med. addiction in a future daughter-in-law?

Posted by staypositive @staypositive, Mon, Oct 21 8:49pm

I have recent suspicion that my sons fiance may have a pain medication addiction. I found out from family that there are 4 people (2 in past week, me being one of them) she has approached to get prescription level pain meds. Uses excuses of her primary doctor is out of office, as well as other various excuses to help with getting something due to history of uterine cyst ruptures.

How do i address this as i really care for her and am worried. Telling my son, talking to her mom (who i only know slightly) or talking to her directly was another thought. But with no proof of actual addiction I am not sure what is best approach to handle this as I feel all would deny it. I dont know her doctors name, which was my last thought…..any advice?

@staypositive. A few weeks have passed since you posted this, I apologize for the delay in my response. How has this situation progressed since you posted the discussion? Have things changed? You noted some potential signs of addiction, but approaching someone with concerns can certainly be perceived as an attack, even if it is coming from a place of love and concern.

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@JustinMcClanahan

@staypositive. A few weeks have passed since you posted this, I apologize for the delay in my response. How has this situation progressed since you posted the discussion? Have things changed? You noted some potential signs of addiction, but approaching someone with concerns can certainly be perceived as an attack, even if it is coming from a place of love and concern.

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@JustinMcClanahan After alot of consideration, I contacted her mom, whom I only have met a handful of times. Approached it as caring and carefully as possible to let her know of her daughter's pain and 2 requests to me for pain meds during the week. Expressed I was not comfortable providing prescription meds when no doctor ordered them. When she strongly agreed, I then expressed concern that by that time I was aware of 5 others she had asked as well over the past year. At that point, her mom acknowledged a previous history for her daughter having a hard time getting off pain meds due to repetitive surgeries and other complications. Her mom then got involved again that very evening to address it. I made my son aware after that. Couple days later, I spoke with my future daugther-in-law and she says she doesnt have an addiction, her mom showed up while there and i could tell her mom is taking this seriously. At this point I have stepped away from the topic as I feel those are the 2 closest to her to work thru next steps. Sounded like her mom was going to go to doctor with her daughter a few days later. Hoping and praying that they are figuring it out. If you have other suggestions would love to hear them….

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@staypositive

@JustinMcClanahan After alot of consideration, I contacted her mom, whom I only have met a handful of times. Approached it as caring and carefully as possible to let her know of her daughter's pain and 2 requests to me for pain meds during the week. Expressed I was not comfortable providing prescription meds when no doctor ordered them. When she strongly agreed, I then expressed concern that by that time I was aware of 5 others she had asked as well over the past year. At that point, her mom acknowledged a previous history for her daughter having a hard time getting off pain meds due to repetitive surgeries and other complications. Her mom then got involved again that very evening to address it. I made my son aware after that. Couple days later, I spoke with my future daugther-in-law and she says she doesnt have an addiction, her mom showed up while there and i could tell her mom is taking this seriously. At this point I have stepped away from the topic as I feel those are the 2 closest to her to work thru next steps. Sounded like her mom was going to go to doctor with her daughter a few days later. Hoping and praying that they are figuring it out. If you have other suggestions would love to hear them….

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@staypositive This must have been quite a nerve-wracking discussion, as you had no idea how this young lady's mom would react. I bet she is grateful to you for letting her know. And thankful you stood your ground. I hope you hear what the next steps are, from her or her mom, and can share news with us. We're here for you!
Ginger

Liked by Lisa Lucier

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@stay positive As a retired addiction specialist I give you an A as to how you approached your concern for your future daughter-law. There is a definite problem here and making those close to her aware of your concern was the right thing to do. I praise you for not letting it go. I also suggest that you stepped back from this at this point and pray that she gets the help she needs. Her mother also sounds like she has her daughter's best interest in mind.

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