Self-harm and depression due to stress
I am a 17 year old male and I don’t really know what could be wrong with me, if I am just overly stressed or if it is something more. I have been under emotional turmoil since about the 4th grade because I was struggling with having a learning disorder (SLD), a new school, and experiencing bullying. This carried on into middle school where it just got so bad trying so hard to make good grades and making D’s and F’s on top of being called a retard, gay, freak, you name it, that I became very distant from reality and desired to take my own life very much. Now that I am I high school things are better and I am not being bullied but I still struggle with school because I did very well freshman year and was recommended for honors classes. Sophomore year was very hard and I didn’t do so well in some classes which stressed me out to the point of having frequent panic attacks, I stopped eating, sleeping, and self-harming (cutting and scratching to be exact). Now that I am a junior, I am under about the same level of stress maybe even more so and I have tried so hard to stop harming myself but when I stress, in my head I’m saying, “I need to cut, I need to cut!”. Also, the fact that it is fall makes things worse because I get very sad during the cold times and I can’t stand to be outside and I don’t know why but when I see the sun setting, it depresses me. I really don’t know what is wrong with me, I have done many symptom checkers and they give me depression and anxiety disorders and I have never been to the doctor about this and no one knows about this except myself. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Also sorry about the length I just want you to know everything, I just wanted to point out that I am not always like this. Sometimes I am quite happy and content and I feel very confident like I could do anything and then it will change to being upset, angry, confused, suicidal, etc.
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I am a mother of a 22 year old who has suffered from depression and many other issues on and off since 12 years old. I also have depression on and off. My son just accepted professional treatment for his issues 2 months ago and he can’t believe how much better he feels. He regrets not seeking help sooner. I urge you to seek professional help immediately Teen suicide is very common and your life CAN AND WILL GET BETTER with help.
If you don’t know how to get professional help you can talk to an adult that you trust or you can research crisis helplines online or your local telephone directory. Please don’t only rely on this site for help because you need more immediate help to ease your suffering; you don’t have to feel this way!!
Thank you very much, I will get help as soon as possible.
You are so welcome. Please do get help right away. Even talking to somebody about your feelings of suicide can reduce the risk that you will do it. It helps to remember when you are going through really hard times and feeling hopeless and despairing to tell yourself over and over that “this too shall pass”.
I really like the lady who is a mother of a 22 year old,, i like her advice i agree with her completely. I had a lot of hard times in school too with being picked on and was small is size, was easy to pick on. then my mother died and they seemed to stop picking on me.. after highschool life went on ok,, remember one day at a time,, and yes this too shall pass esp. if you are having a bad day,, look for a good day to happen too,, we all have good days and bad days,, welcome to being human,, but try not to be so hard on yourself and seek a psychiatrist to get your meds all in balance,, it took me about 4 doctors and a couple dozen brands of drugs,, but once I got the right combination and I had to help to get better too,,,, life is good… I also developed a strong faith in God and He helped me too… good luck and hang in there….
I agree with the suggestions to get professional help. I am a 64 yr. old woman and I’m being treared for clinical depression with both medication and therapy. Everyone is different, so finding good help is important. Places to start might be your current doctor,a school counselor, a local helpline, the Y, or your pastor. You need to listen to your gut and if the person you’re talking to minimizes your concerns, or just doesn’t feel right, politely end the conversation and try another. Good luck!
I agree with all the good advice. Finding a good counselor along with a good caring psychiatrist. But before all that, are you eating the right foods? lots of fruits, veggies? Are you exercising? walking at least 30 minutes a day, if possible longer? finding a good hobbie that keeps your mind engaged? joinin a good church group? most importante, never give up, if something does not work, on to the next one. My two cents
You sound like a good person. It takes effort but think positive thoughts and remember you have everything you need. Nothing to worry about. Life is good. Many other out there like you.
You do sound like a really good person that did not deserve being bullied. It wasn’t your fault, you know. I hope you are taking all of this great advice because I also have suffered with mental health issues for a long time. There really is alot you can do to help yourself and talking about it to a trusted adult is a good place to start. The mother of twins and 22 yr. old with depression gave good advice. How are you doing?
Please check out http://www.befrienders.org & click on self harm to see the list of resources. The young people and self harm link brings you to http://www.thesite.org which might be good, too.
It’s unfortunate you have to deal with these issues at school….
It sounds Like these bullies are the problem , not you.
Your depression and anxiety are probably stemming from the stress at school and not having anyone to talk to.
Teen years are tough, I know….
You need someone to talk to.
Therapist? School counsellor? Friends? Parents? Family doctor?