What a week....
These last 7-8 days have been trying to say the least. We got a call in the early morning hours of last Thursday telling us that my father-in-law had passed away. He had COPD and had just been released from the hospital that afternoon. My mother-in law ended up in the hospital Saturday evening from a combination of grief and parainfluenza. (https://www.cdc.gov/parainfluenza/index.html) So, we were taking care of her physically and emotionally. (And also has me worried about coming down with this virus. We go for my husband's checkup at Mayo the 20th) Unfortunately, a lot of that care fell on me. My husband has 2 sisters and 1 brother. We took our turn staying with her and my husband left our turn totally up to me. When it was his brother's turn it just didn't happen when it should. Unfortunately, this led me to have an emotional meltdown while we were there. His whole family did apologize to dumping so much of her care into my lap, thankfully. (This was due to me unloading on his sister about how ticked I was at my husband) I told him that I have nothing left and I just couldn't care for both of them. I didn't realize how burnt out I am until that moment.
Let this be a lesson too all of us. Say no when necessary and remember there is no such thing as too much self care.
Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers Support Group.
Hang in. Best of luck. Exhausting. Yes make sure you are ok first.
You're right JoDee. Self-care should be at the top of the To Do list. We need to care for ourselves in order to care for those we love.
@harriethodgson1 @jupiterkaren thank you. I'm trying my best to put me first. My brother-in-law who also has a transplant told me I need to get away for a couple days to relax before my husband has his transplant. The thought of that actually stresses me out more than staying home. All the planning that would go into it, plus what if the call comes while I'm gone. Having to get home and then to Rochester. Can't do it.
Do either of you have any ideas? Thank you in advance.
Go somewhere nearby for the day….. a mall that has benches, water features, food court and safe walking. I go to the library where it is quiet and read magazines I’ve never heard of. There are sometimes dollar theaters around for 11:00 matinee and then take yourself out to lunch. Museums are wonderful especially art museums. You feel like you’ve gone far away but you can check your phone for messages every hour or so to keep your mind at ease.
@sallysue I am going to the nearby arts festival with a friend tomorrow. Maybe I'll talk to her and make a day of it. Go biking or kayaking first then the festival, lunch and etc.
Sounds like you are on track already!! You may not be able to do a week away, but a day or half day often will do wonders for you.
@sallysue I had a great day last weekend! We went to the farmers market, the arts festival and out for lunch. So relaxing. Last night I went on a hike with a group at a nearby county park. It was much needed and relaxing.
Thank you for the ideas!