Too many Whammys at once

Posted by duchess0521 @duchess0521, Dec 22, 2019

I'm not a happy camper these days. My long time partner died Feb 2018, and I miss him so much. Several months after his death I started working part time where I met a male coworker who became a friend. He is 20 years younger than me so it wasn't a romantic thing just companionship. We went out to eat etc, and for the first time I felt some happiness. The friend got a new job a couple months ago and no longer contacts me or answers my Facebook messages. This has sent me into profound depression and anxiety. It takes all my strength just to get through work. I saw my doctor about this and she set me up with a counselor and a doctor who is an expert on antidepressants. Both appointments got rescheduled and I still have to wait three more weeks to see them. I will be alone on Christmas.All family live out of state. Actually, being alone is okay. Not much joy here anyway. I feel I am hanging on by my fingernails!

@duchess0521 Good morning. You are certainly having a Blue Christmas. Where do you live? You could come to my house but only if you cook. I don’t cook so having guests produces anxiety. You are perceiving rejection from your new companion who left the area. Maybe he is dealing with the loss in a different way.

Do you have any hobbies that involve others? Play Bridge, 500, Cribbage, Mahjongg? Do you enjoy volunteering as an usher at a local playhouse? Do you have a time consuming project that needs attention, Do you enjoy binge watching series like Grace and Frankie?

I am here for you today and tomorrow and Christmas. May you have happiness and the causes of happiness. Chris who cares.

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@duchess0521 Christmas is a sad time for many. You are not alone. I have had many Christmas's alone. I have learned that Christmas is sad because I associate it with getting together with family and my parents are now gone. My friends now have their own families they get together with. So I am often alone on Christmas. I find it a good time to reflect on the true meaning of Christmas. No busyness allows that. If you are able to get out, you may consider volunteering at a homeless shelter. Many people are there without family. If you are too depressed to do that, consider at least calling someone from the past. There may be others like you who do not have family. I live in a retirement community. Maybe you could visit someone you know in a nursing home. I am sorry that you are unable to see a doctor immediately about your depression, there is a shortage of mental health professionals in many areas. If you feel really depressed, please go to your nearest emergency room. They can help you get immediate assistance. Please keep us updated on how you are doing. We on this section of Connect have experienced what you are going through so we can empathize with you.

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@artscaping

@duchess0521 Good morning. You are certainly having a Blue Christmas. Where do you live? You could come to my house but only if you cook. I don’t cook so having guests produces anxiety. You are perceiving rejection from your new companion who left the area. Maybe he is dealing with the loss in a different way.

Do you have any hobbies that involve others? Play Bridge, 500, Cribbage, Mahjongg? Do you enjoy volunteering as an usher at a local playhouse? Do you have a time consuming project that needs attention, Do you enjoy binge watching series like Grace and Frankie?

I am here for you today and tomorrow and Christmas. May you have happiness and the causes of happiness. Chris who cares.

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Oh my goodness, I was so involved with your story that I forgot to welcome you to Connect. This amazing collection of humans can share experiences and current health information. We are not medical folks, just patients and caregivers. So glad you decided to join us.

Liked by johnhans, lioness

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@artscaping

@duchess0521 Good morning. You are certainly having a Blue Christmas. Where do you live? You could come to my house but only if you cook. I don’t cook so having guests produces anxiety. You are perceiving rejection from your new companion who left the area. Maybe he is dealing with the loss in a different way.

Do you have any hobbies that involve others? Play Bridge, 500, Cribbage, Mahjongg? Do you enjoy volunteering as an usher at a local playhouse? Do you have a time consuming project that needs attention, Do you enjoy binge watching series like Grace and Frankie?

I am here for you today and tomorrow and Christmas. May you have happiness and the causes of happiness. Chris who cares.

Jump to this post

Thank you for caring. I chuckled about the cooking part because I loved cooking for my late partner. It's one of many things I miss about him.
It also hit home about a time consuming project because I actually spent many hours today finishing a birdhouse to give to the woman I work with everyday.She's huge into birds. I cut wine corks in half and hot glued them on the birdhouse to make it look like a log cabin. I am putting a straw roof on it….one straw at a time! So that has "consumed" lots of time. Nearly done now.
I appreciate that you replied. I am overwhelmed so many did. This is my first post.
God's blessing to all.

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@duchess0521

Thank you for caring. I chuckled about the cooking part because I loved cooking for my late partner. It's one of many things I miss about him.
It also hit home about a time consuming project because I actually spent many hours today finishing a birdhouse to give to the woman I work with everyday.She's huge into birds. I cut wine corks in half and hot glued them on the birdhouse to make it look like a log cabin. I am putting a straw roof on it….one straw at a time! So that has "consumed" lots of time. Nearly done now.
I appreciate that you replied. I am overwhelmed so many did. This is my first post.
God's blessing to all.

Jump to this post

That birdhouse sounds quite creative @duchess0521. Do you have other designs or just version of the “log” cabin? Chris

Liked by johnhans

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@duchess0521 Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect! We are a very diverse group of patients family members and caregivers. We are not medical doctors and cannot offer diagnosis, but we can offer support and our experience in similar situations. Like @johnhans said, many of us experience the holidays alone. While there have been many years that it made me sad, I have turned it around to look at it from a positive standpoint of reflection for me and where I stand my life. I used to volunteer to cover shifts for people with large families. I also have volunteered at a soup kitchen, or animal shelter over the holidays. If you go over in your mind the things that bring you joy, the things that bring you pleasure in creating like your birdhouse [which I would really like to see a picture of!] And then tailor your actions to accomplishing something like that. What about taking a drive or a walk around your neighborhood and looking at decorations? While that might seem counterproductive, the colors and the effort that people put into it might be inspiring to you. Write yourself a love letter, tell yourself about the things that happened to you this year that were positive, and your gratitude for getting to this time of the year. It doesn't have to be anything long, just a couple of paragraphs. Do you have any friends that are also alone this time of year that perhaps might like to go out for a cup of coffee or tea, or a movie? As you already read, if you feel that you are in a deep depression please make your way to the closest emergency room. There is staff there that is well-trained in helping you. Please come back and check in with us. We care here.
Ginger

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@duchess0521 I lost my husband in 2000 so spent many Christmas alone This year I'm going out to eat and movie

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