I'm not a happy camper these days. My long time partner died Feb 2018, and I miss him so much. Several months after his death I started working part time where I met a male coworker who became a friend. He is 20 years younger than me so it wasn't a romantic thing just companionship. We went out to eat etc, and for the first time I felt some happiness. The friend got a new job a couple months ago and no longer contacts me or answers my Facebook messages. This has sent me into profound depression and anxiety. It takes all my strength just to get through work. I saw my doctor about this and she set me up with a counselor and a doctor who is an expert on antidepressants. Both appointments got rescheduled and I still have to wait three more weeks to see them. I will be alone on Christmas.All family live out of state. Actually, being alone is okay. Not much joy here anyway. I feel I am hanging on by my fingernails!