Tired of the gaslighting

Posted by cwitton1 @cwitton1, Jan 5 8:24am

I am done.
No more doctors. They’ve gaslit me, passed me off, placated me with unnecessary tests, tried detrimental drug therapies. No more “specialists” who pass you along to the next because it’s “not my job”. They straight up don’t believe anything I say. I am done. This journey that started in 1989 with a case of mononucleosis has ruined my life. I am done chasing answers and being mentally traumatized by doctors’ lack of empathy or concern. I am tired of reading my after visit notes and finding errors- things we never discussed or blatant lies about being examined. I am sick to death of being told it’s just anxiety manifesting or my brain tricking my body to make it *think*there’s pain when “there isn’t”. There is pain. A lot of pain, and I do not wonder at all why people with autoimmune disorders or chronic conditions- chronic pain patients, take unthinkable measures. News flash:NSAIDS don’t do squat for pain. They only wreck your kidneys and liver. What I have learned in the last 35 years is you can trust no one but yourself. Doctors are not there to help you. Doctors are there to make money and feel important about themselves. Doctors refuse to tell us, “I don’t know.” I’m tired, and it’s become more of a self preservation technique to just walk away. No more visits. No more medications. Whatever will be, will be. Call me a quitter. I don’t care. We were brought up to think if you’re sick, go to a doctor and they will help you get better. If your pain is new or gets worse, go to your doctor. They will figure out the cause. This is bs. No one’s going to help you. No one’s going to believe you. You will begin to question your sanity and eventually come to the conclusion that you’re on your own. The power dynamic in medicine is huge. They may have paid for an education, but I am not stupid and I know my body. This is me, finally defeated, jaded and hopeless. This is me accepting that this is how the rest of my life will be, forever. It’s not an exciting, rosy prospect. This is me, and I am done.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Autoimmune Diseases Support Group.

pb50 | @pb50 | Mar 16 7:41am

In reply to @becsbuddy "@cwitton1 @dlydailyhope @larak @jkm54 @pfbacon. @gigi4 and everyone on this discussion: You all might like this..." + (show)

This sounds like a great idea.

pb50 | @pb50 | Mar 16 7:43am

In reply to @becsbuddy "@cwitton1 @dlydailyhope @larak @jkm54 @pfbacon. @gigi4 and everyone on this discussion: You all might like this..." + (show)

FYI I get a broken link - page can’t be found - when I click on the link.

Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | Mar 16 11:37am

In reply to @pb50 "FYI I get a broken link - page can’t be found - when I click on..." + (show)

Oh no!! I”lol try to resend it, if possible.

Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | Mar 16 11:38am

In reply to @becsbuddy "@cwitton1 @dlydailyhope @larak @jkm54 @pfbacon. @gigi4 and everyone on this discussion: You all might like this..." + (show)

The link is not working! I’ll see if I can fix it!

John, Volunteer Mentor | @johnbishop | Mar 16 2:08pm

In reply to @becsbuddy "@cwitton1 @dlydailyhope @larak @jkm54 @pfbacon. @gigi4 and everyone on this discussion: You all might like this..." + (show)

@pb50, @becsbuddy - The link should be working now.

pb50 | @pb50 | Mar 16 3:36pm

In reply to @johnbishop "@pb50, @becsbuddy - The link should be working now." + (show)

It is! Great experiences are highlighted that women will recognize. It did occur to me that while some of us have included misrepresentation of what occurred in the exam room as gaslighting, I feel that is something very different and the delivery organizations themselves need to address. If a large percentage of their member docs are describing actions that did not take place, that’s something very close to fraud. The question is why?? We know it’s money - but again why?

The article I read describes the familiar “don’t worry yourself trying to figure this out… that’s what you have me for”. And once you’re on Medicare it evolves
into something toxic - not always but too many times. . It’s like you checked your IQ at the door once you hit 65.

With that said, these are discussions that need to occur. There are no doubt mis-assigned motives and reactions on all sides. But it doesn’t change until and unless it’s discussed. So I’m very glad to see the autoimmune group take point. It’s such a complex process for diagnosis and treatment, there is plenty of gaslighting going on 🙂

Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | Mar 16 4:38pm

In reply to @johnbishop "@pb50, @becsbuddy - The link should be working now." + (show)

THANK YOU!! I just knew you would come along and save the day with your technical expertise!!

Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | Mar 16 4:39pm

In reply to @becsbuddy "@cwitton1 @dlydailyhope @larak @jkm54 @pfbacon. @gigi4 and everyone on this discussion: You all might like this..." + (show)

The link is working now!!

jkm54 | @jkm54 | Mar 17 1:08pm

In reply to @becsbuddy "Oh no!! I”lol try to resend it, if possible." + (show)

yes the link was broken when I looked as well

dlydailyhope | @dlydailyhope | Mar 17 1:41pm

In reply to @krisjb1 "Medication is not being offered at the pain management office although I have previously used oxycodone..." + (show)

Have you tried Lidocaine pain patches for nerve pain (like Salonpas brand) or capsaicin creams? Alpha Lipoic Acid supplements help some with nerve pain and I heard Magnesium helps, too.