This is my last post. the past few months have been extremely difficult, having two surgeries in 4 weeks, being dehydrated and with raging PTSD and depression I simply do not have the energy to read and respond. The surgeries were nightmares with promises of pre sedation being broken and many difficulties. I am unable to do anything because I am so weak, and to be completely honest I have lost that special touch of the Lord which has always been present. I do not believe in suicide, so rest assured I will not do anything to hurt myself. I just need to retire from the world and I do not know for how long. I wish for only good things for all of you who have been so kind to me.