I apologize for being absent for a while. I am pleased to see that many of you are continuing to support one another during such trying times. As you all know, that in order to help other's we must also take care of ourselves and so this is what I have been trying to do.
I recall, when I worked as a social worker with the chronically mentally ill that there is a process that one must go through. In order to feel better, be productive and contribute to a better society we must be willing to accept that we are struggling (health issues of all kinds) but that there is hope is we are willing to do the work.
Since my first posted discussion, a lot has happened to me but I see it as a process that is allowing me to focus on myself so that I can recover. I was awarded disability benefits which was genuinely disheartening at first because I could never 100% accept that my illness was chronic.
Well it's chronic, I did not cause it, I am not ashamed of who I am and giving up is not an option. My mom whom I adore tells me to think of my current situation as a vacation that will allow me to be a little selfish and focus on my needs instead of the world's.
I miss the clients that I helped for over 20+ year's but I could not continue helping other's if I was not stable. It has taken over a year to come to this realization because for many of us work defines part of our being. I also have an MSW so at first I felt like it was a wasted effort on my part. NOT so!
There will come a time when I am done healing that I will return to something that makes me feel good, makes me feel productive and helps other's but for now I need to be the priority and this is okay to do.
So, if you are struggling with an illness that has taken you back a bit please don't lose hope. Our struggles do not have to impact us for a lifetime. Today, I am safe, I have a nice home, people that love me and a wonderful doctor that is cutting edge with her knowledge. I may not respond well to medications but there is so much that I can do (ECT, Join a gym, allow friends to motivate me, cook, reconnect with MAYO...etc).
Recovery is a process without a time limit so be kind to yourselves first and foremost and always keep in mind that as long as we are alive greatness is possible.
Big Hug & God Bless Rox