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roxie43

The Great Debate... Do you define yourself as your illness or are you a human being living with an illness?

Posted by @roxie43 in Brain & Nervous System, Jun 4, 2012

Dear Reader's,

My friend Momentum has posed a very important question! Do you conform to societal labels or do we challenge the system when the system attempts to self impose their views on who we TRULY are?

It can become very easy to be consumed by external factors when Identifying who were are. I am first and foremost, a human being. I am a daughter, mother, sister, grandmother, friend, colleague, peer, employee, a woman, etc. And, I live with depression and anxiety that I am NOT ashamed of. I did not cause it but am very proactive in minimizing it's effects on my life. Last year, being proactive did not work because a group of administrator's were on a mission to destroy my career, my life, my livelihood and my self worth.

However, still, I refused to conform to their biased views because I am who I am and am very proud of myself despite that they are ashamed of me for being proud. Does this make sense? In life, we will come across individuals that know we are exceptional and competent workers but for some reason THEY NOT US cannot get past a label.

I know people, who have been treated in this broken system since they were adolescents and are now in their 50's and all the know is the label they are giving. Some will have been so poorly condition, that they actually believe "I am a Schizophrenic" versus I am a human being living with Schizophrenia.

Lizkat wanted to educate healthcare provider's! Well, here we go. The helping professions is suffering and it needs to revamp itself and go WAYYYYY back to the friendly visitors in the early years of social work. People should not further be exposed to victimization because of their unfortunate circumstances. And, people living with any type of illness should not be made to feel like they are worthless and cannot dream and do BIG things with their lives.

In my last year in graduate school, I was suicidal but you know what my friends? The employer and familial issues were the culprit that exacerbated my illness. Regardless, of all of the roadblocks that presented themselves, I graduated and was told by my thesis professor that my thesis was one of the best in his class in 2010. So, did I allow other's hurtful actions to negate my dreams and goals? Absolutely not......

You can be diagnosed with the most horrific condition but the mind is powerful and when we focus diligently on the task at hand that one is trying to achieve no label can stop you!

I have good days, and I have days, when all seems overwhelming but I refuse to conform to what society or some select insensitive individuals try to say as to...... what I am or am not capable of.

By now, most of you can tell that I am a writer and most recently put together a case for the US District Court that some believe a lawyer put together. I, until my last breath, will always challenge the status Quo because it is wrong, it is hurtful, it is demoralizing, it can ruin lives and there is no place for this type of practice and/or behavior in our world.

Big Hug Your Friend,
Roxie

Tags: Cancer, eye conditions, Infectious Disease, kidney conditions, lung conditions, mens health, mental health, preventive medicine, Skin Conditions, sleep problems, sports medicine, transplants, womens health, Other, pregnancy, espanol, Scholarship contest, healthy living, arabic, equality, Compassion, Labels, Empathy, empowernment

dlimback, China, Roxie43 and 1 others like this
stevenc

Posted by @stevenc, Jun 5, 2012

Interesting what you have said. I have depression, for years I went through life never feeling as if I did not belong, always on the outside looking in. My life style reflected how I felt and viewed myself. I was raised in foster homes, 4 in 5 years. I never let anyone in or felt wanted.
The problem with society is you are weak if admit to the pain that you feel, doctors use case studies, put you in a diagnoed box, when each case is as unique as the person. As you said, you are given a label and expected to wear it around your neck. Depression is not who I am, that is why the medical profession fails...... They do not know the person.

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jun 5, 2012

Hello Stevenc,

Everyone feels pain my dear. They may not admit it and put on a good front but no one is immune to pain whether it be physical, emotional, psychological etc.

I am proud of you for saying.... that depression is not who you are... because your not.

Depression can surely make someone withdraw and/or feel out of place but you have to force yourself to live your life in the best way that you can. Just because we live with depression does not mean that we have to settle.

Yes, some in the medical profession really don't take the time to get to know the person!

I would like to think that by posting these discussions, we are in essence increasing awareness, about how individuals are made to feel over the course of their treatment, their lives and their perceptions of self.

Although, it can be disheartening and painful, how other's view an illness, you have to be proud of the fact that you were raised in some unfortunate circumstances yet still can see that you are an individual and not depression.

I thank you for being so candid about your life. I hope that you continue to reach out and always remember that if you need to chat I am here. My friends on the site are also very supportive so feel free to reach out to any of us.

Sincerely,
Roxie

bevyjean

Posted by @bevyjean, Jul 26, 2012

I'm an epileptic since age of 9. It took me 10 yrs. To get a dc. Who would realize, I'm the patient and It'sme who experiences this. For the first time , he refuses to return my calls and has his nurse talk to me. I had a scary situation, one thing I don't like is being ignored when its only a question, and his job to help. Not like I call shrug day.

China likes this
china

Posted by @china, Jul 26, 2012

god 4u. we know our selves better than any1 else. Sad that u know more than a doc. Best of luck 2u

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jun 5, 2012

The acceptance of the truth that joy and sorrow, laughter and tears are not confined to any particular time, place or people, but are universally distributed, should make us more tolerant of and more interested in the lives of others. ~ William M. Peck

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jun 13, 2012

famous people with MI

China likes this
china

Posted by @china, Jun 13, 2012

Cool

china

Posted by @china, Jul 11, 2012

had 2 see it again

china

Posted by @china, Jun 13, 2012

Hey girl! Keep ur head up. A man who thinks its cool to disrespect a woman on a health site is a poor excuse of a man!
I grew up without a dad because he was a drug addict n mom took it our on me.
2day he's clean and wants a father's day gift. Picture that! Absent doesn't deserve a gift. My gift is depression!
Ur smart n don't have 2 cut n paste! Don't give him a 2nd thought ur better n maybe he's threatened by ur brains n popularity!
Much Luv

Roxie43 likes this
china

Posted by @china, Jun 13, 2012

Hey girl! Keep ur head up. A man who thinks its cool to disrespect a woman on a health site is a poor excuse of a man!
I grew up without a dad because he was a drug addict n mom took it our on me.
2day he's clean and wants a father's day gift. Picture that! Absent doesn't deserve a gift. My gift is depression!
Ur smart n don't have 2 cut n paste! Don't give him a 2nd thought ur better n maybe he's threatened by ur brains n popularity!
Much Luv

Roxie43 likes this
roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jun 14, 2012

Hi China,
I see that you can actually write..LOL. I am glad that you decided to put yourself first my dear. I am sorry that you grew up the way you did. A lot of us did not grow up in the most healthy environments but if your dad is sober it's never too late to try to develop a relationship with him.
I am sorry that your mom took out her frustrations on you. Make sure that you are also getting some talk therapy so you can process your feelings.
As for the other part of your message, don't worry honey I am a survivor and I am learning that people who are hurting themselves often deflect/project their feelings of self onto others. I am past that but I appreciate your concern.
Hugs,
Rox

china

Posted by @china, Jun 14, 2012

prefer short hand. Lazy I guess

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jun 19, 2012

How are things?

china

Posted by @china, Jun 19, 2012

cool. having fun n da sun. found a fulltime job sooooooo happy

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Jun 21, 2012

So pleased for you when do you start. Take care piglit

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jun 17, 2012

I define myself as:
A woman
A mother
A daughter
A grandma
A friend
A hard worker
A compassionate human being
A dog lover
An advocate against social injustices
And, as a person genetically & environmentally predisposed to living with an illness.
Puzzle pieces ~ A wonderful professor in graduate school taught me. We are so much more than an illness.
I hope you all have seen the video I posted on "Famous People with MI's".
It's on YouTube and it's inspiring because too often we are made to feel like we are incapable of positively contributing to this world we live in.
Hugs,
Rox

China likes this
piglit

Posted by @piglit, Jun 17, 2012

Must of been a great professor a really wonderful positve insight Just because we have an illness doesn't in anyway mean that we don't and can't contribute to society. Many people tend to place stigma which is so very wrong. All of us have made some kind of difference to people's lives. We all need to remember each and everyday just how special and unique we are. Rely on your true friends, live your lives each and every minute and never ever doubt the special person that you are Hugs Piglit Remember also that kindness, understanding and inner beauty all come from within. God bless

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jun 18, 2012

We are a culmination of so many wonderful attributes that some times people forget this and become fixated on one aspect which is sad and.... Unfair
Beautifully stated Piglit!

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jun 19, 2012

This professor is a woman and her classes were tough but no one could complain about not learning. I'll never forget her...

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Jun 19, 2012

she sounds amazing

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jun 20, 2012

Just looked at the video again and noticed it has 2 more part's

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Jun 20, 2012

can you post them or do i need new glasses lol

china

Posted by @china, Jun 19, 2012

u know. peeps can kiss mb. Im me n proud

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Jun 19, 2012

You should always be proud of yourself as we all should. Take care Piglti

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jun 19, 2012

Of course you should always be proud of yourself. I just wanted to know others views.
Hugs

gottabbetter

Posted by @gottabbetter, Jun 20, 2012

I had an employer that really fits this subject. It was when I first started going to a therapist. I would need to leave early for my appts so I trusted in her to say that I was going for depression. One day at work when I was having a stressful day she actually asked me if I was taking my meds and how my sessions were going!! How rude and insulting!! I have been hesitant ever since to trust who I tell. It sucks.

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Jun 20, 2012

Hi it's so not good when you feel discriminated like that in a workplace situation. It's such a pity that more people are not compassionate enough to understand how a comment would make someone like that feel, Sorry that this happened to you. Take care Piglit

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jun 22, 2012

Some people are so miserable themselves that they project their feelings onto anyone that stands up for equality.
You are so right...no compassionate, no heart, no empathy, no respect etc...

joanneo

Posted by @joanneo, Jun 22, 2012

Unforunately many doctors look at a persons list of medications and assume that whatever u r being referred to them for is "in your head" because they judge the person ss being a "hypochondriac" how unfortunate. It has happened to me and it it is so degrading

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Jun 22, 2012

I can relate to this a wrong diagnosis was placed on me, of bi-polar , unfortunaltey this is on my hospital records and at times you can know that people are looking and speaking to you differently It does make your feel degraded.But always remember the special person that you are and try not to take notice of their ignorance

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Jun 22, 2012

It's so sad that people have to put up with this some on a daily basis because they feel that they have no alternative

joanneo

Posted by @joanneo, Jun 23, 2012

hello. Today will be a better day for us all my sister has cancer and she is here on a visit and we are going to go shopping and eat junk food. Laugh and have fun. Life is too short enjoy an cherish those close to you cause they r here now once they r gone u cannot go back and carding shoulda coulda or woulda's are horrible burdens to carry the rest of your life. Now I will get off of my soapboxed and enjoy life! Love u all. Jodi

hope117

Posted by @hope117, Jun 28, 2012

Kudos to you for having fun with your sister; that will get her mind off the illness for awhile. I've been diagnosed with a terrible (to me) illness and my sister won't talk to me at all. In a wierd sort of way, I'd say how lucky you both are!

Roxie43 likes this
roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jul 3, 2012

Hi Jodi,
I love your attitude and I hope you are enjoying life.
Hugs,
Rox

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jun 22, 2012

Thank you for sharing. My employer has targetted me for over a decade but other's with disabilities are not targetted at all. Some people fall asleep at their desk and nothing but when I stand up for my rights as a human being, employee and hard worker I become the victim of retaliation...
It's horrible especially since I work in the mental health field..

joanneo

Posted by @joanneo, Jun 23, 2012

Hi rox good post I enjoy it hugs jodi

china

Posted by @china, Jun 26, 2012

me2 I like her discussions

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jul 5, 2012

Thanks China

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jul 5, 2012

Thank you dear..
Hugs

china

Posted by @china, Jul 11, 2012

i cant trust cause they change

kdc

Posted by @kdc, Jun 27, 2012

I've been told during the course of a workman's compensation case that the qualified medical examiner feels I have a personality disorder caused by childhood abuse. I dislike this label since it adds tot he trauma of what I went through as a child; it seems further punishment and an added burden to bear. Then I read the ony symptoms that could apply since the other are definitely not me; are self deprecating personality disorder or depressive disorder; I would choose the depressive disorder since it fits better, lol, but I have a feeling the psychiatrist thinks otherwise. I'm sort of in denial but coming to terms with what if he is right? What then? I know I have issues and not all of the :"unspspecified" personality disorder fits and some of the depressive personality disorger do fit but not all of them either. I don't want this label; it makes me feel like a totalyy crazy person when the people at work who bullied me for over a year have had no disciplinary actions against them; just rewards and promotions; there is something wrong with this picture. My point is; I'm willing to come to terms with my issues if I truly have them.

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jun 28, 2012

You don't have to accept any labels. People with heart disease don't walk around stating I am ill in the heart.
As for evil workplace bullies, if each one of us, stands up against them and never backs down eventually the bullies will see that they are not wanted, respected, valuable, deserving and need to go away. However, if no one speaks up, because of fear of REtaliaTION... which is what I am currently enduring.. they will never stop.

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jul 3, 2012

How are you? How are you doing with coming to terms with your issues? Avoidance does not allow us to heal my friend. Confront whatever ails you and have faith in yourself that you can handle it.
Hugs
Rox

china

Posted by @china, Jul 6, 2012

what kind of workman comp is this. U have 2 meet certain behavior so don't take 1 opinion

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jul 5, 2012

I am simply and beautifully ME......
We all are!

China likes this
piglit

Posted by @piglit, Jul 5, 2012

so true and we are all unique and special in all different ways
Hugs x0

China likes this
china

Posted by @china, Jul 6, 2012

U n Piglit are on point!

china

Posted by @china, Jul 6, 2012

go gurls!

china

Posted by @china, Jul 9, 2012

family likes 2 define u as crazy at x's. It reminds me why i left but i dont think they mean 2 hurt me.

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jul 10, 2012

Family is different. Some cultures say certain things but they are not malicious when they say certain things.

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jul 15, 2012

Hi Friends...
My cousin just informed me that his daughters cancer has returned. Prayers please.
Hugs,
Rox

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Jul 15, 2012

My prayers are with you and your family. My friend is continuing her battle too Hugs

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jul 15, 2012

Thanks Piglit. It's a distant cousin but still cancer is serious..

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jul 15, 2012

I am sorry about your friend Piglit. We have to pray and be thankful for the medical advances.
Hugs

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Jul 15, 2012

I.m sorry for you too. My friend has liver cancer and has the most incredible strength I have seen . Hugs

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jul 15, 2012

It's amazing how strong we are even though we don't always feel as such.
Hugs

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Aug 6, 2012

Hello my friends,
I hope everyone is feeling better and keeping your heads up during times that can be so challenging. As always you are all in my thoughts..
Hugs, Rox

China likes this

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