Might it be temporary sadness? How to make him feel better?

Please don’t apologize…everyone’s needs and concerns are important. I can understand why your husband is depressed. Sometimes our health concerns can just be overwhelming and he’s going through a lot right now. Be patient with him, encourage him as you can, and when he’s able get him outside…nothing like good fresh air to help your body feel better… and to do something fun for the both of you.

@labrown Sometimes we or a loved one experience something novel followed by an unwelcome change. It is often likely that the two are related, but they also might just be coincidental. As in, 'happened coincidentally', or 'at the same time'. This is the 'Post hoc' fallacy (an error in logic known as 'post hoc, ergo propter hoc', or in English, 'After this, so because of this.'

Also, it sometimes isn't just one or two things that bring on a mood change, or a cognitive one, but the cumulative effect of all of them.....ganging up on the person and wearing them down.

Time will tell, but if your husband is able to respond well to the physical part of the healing, then daily walks will help a lot for mood. Nothing quite like the Sun in one's eyes to improve mood and sleep. Morning sun is a great aid for that night's sleep.

It is normal for a person to feel anxiety or to feel depressed when his/her life is about to change. Restoring as much normalcy, as much routine, as much security, is important to do as soon as possible, even putting pressure on the person when they don't want to do anything but to stew. Naturally we want to retain the dignity of the person and not add to their stresses and burden, but gentle and frequent encouragement helps. Also, he may need some mood altering medication like Ativan or temporary use of an SSRI. After all, the brain ages, as does our body, and maybe he needs to be evaluated and get a hopefully temporary prescription to help drag him out of the shadows.

@2me Your heartfelt concern needs no apology. We're all dealing with the likes of the ups and downs that come with this disease and the constant "mood" or medical changes with our spouses. I feel like I sit on edge every day, anticipating and/or seeing something change. The fact that he is going through infusions (the 4th) you said, while having Mohs surgery on his scalp and doing MRI's which are to detect brain swelling (Aria) from the infusions for me, is enough said. Who knows what he must be thinking and feeling? It's all scary stuff. For example, I refused to fly when my husband started his Lequembe (he's on his 24th now), because I was worried about the altitude while he was on lequembe. Silly, but that's how I felt. Add Mohs surgery which is painful on his head, (I had Mohs on my face, and that digging down was deep. Assure him, that after the 7th lequembe infusion, the MRI's slow down, a good thing. After the Mohs recovery, he won't feel any pain. And every two weeks lequembe, becomes and in and out, and hopefully, nothing else medically added to your mix to get him depressed. As you know, just assure him, which gives him hope, that he will get better, and that after the 36th infusion, he'll go on some maintenance. My understanding now, is that people can do those at home. I'm not there yet with my husband on that, but anything to make this easier when the time comes and the doctor okays it. Thanks for your share. We all feel on this site, what you're feeling, so all posts are valuable shares. We learn from each other. Best, Karla

@kjc48
Karla, how is it you know just what to say to all of us? Your responses and caring mean a lot, and I know I speak for many here. For his first 2 infusions, he was in a small private room and I could stay with him…but now he is in the larger room, with chairs for patients only. He gets confused easily, but thankfully the nurses are wonderful there! (I visit there with my therapy dog,). The decision to go ahead with Leqembi treatment was his, and I supported it. Mohs surgery did hurt (he had several stitches) and starting today, the pain should start to diminish, as the site looks like the swelling has receded a lot…thank you again!

@labrown -you are right. I do believe he is overwhelmed…he was kind of handling the idea of every other week Leqembi infusions, but the need for the Mohs surgery rather upset his apple cart…thank you, and we will get outside!!

@gloaming
The cumulative effect, plus not sleeping well is really a huge factor! His balance is not good, so long walks, while helpful, just can’t happen, but we’ll get outside and enjoy the sunshine and fresh air, for sure! Thank you for your caring reply!

@2me First up, your kind note back to me warms my heart. Helping others helps me in all of this too. I'm talking to my husband right now, who's telling me, that it's important for your husband in whatever room he is in, to engage with others. I remember my husband was anxious in the beginning. The tendency is to "clam up" however, the people that have been in there the longest, treat it like it's their "infusion family." Have him, "Say Hello," and strike up a conversation so it removes the fear and anxiety of just being in there. Also, in talking to others, my husband has gotten to know people, hear about what floats their boat, and he just told me, makes that one hour go much easier. I remember one day sitting out front, one man came in - after his 18th infusion - and was so excited because he told me, he could finally fill out the form! He remembered what to fill in. Now how cool is that? And what's even cooler, is I'm sitting here interviewing my husband about your husband's infusions.......My initial reaction was to tell you to ask for a private room each time he gets his infusion, until I just talked with my husband about how he feels being with others. Hope this helps. Best, Karla

@kjc48
Hi Karla,
I know that what you are suggesting is so important! That was my hope also, when he was moved to the group infusion room, that he would socialize a little. (It’s only about 8 chairs, so not overwhelming) But I have no idea if he will remember to do that. How very cool, that your husband has thoughts to contribute to this, and thank you both!

@2me You know what, they amaze me in all of this. As I think they remember off and on more than we think. I was shocked when I started telling my husband about your husband and he wanted to participate like he was completely of sound mind and was educating me. That goes to show us, there's a light and spark in their brain, even though they don't remember the things they used to. We just never give up. Ps, when my husband went in the first few times, I remember telling the infusion people to help him, and get him to socialize if they could, to "start" the flow of good conversation with others. And I will tell you after the 18th or so infusion, I drop him off and pick him up; I don't sit in the infusion outside room any longer, he's that comfortable now. PPS, even if your husband doesn't remember sitting in the infusion room, if and when there are others, they'll talk, which will get him to talk. Someone in that room, three weeks ago, gave my husband their card and said we should do dinner sometimes. Funny. Again, we think they don't know. They know.......more than we think! I'm always telling my husband now, I'm amazed on the things he does remember. So the lequembe must be working. Hope, faith, and love.......and God's light in all of this.
Best, Karla

@2me I wanted to add something.....what I'm trying to do through all of this - at least for now, is "normalize" it - for both of us - as much as I can. For example, when Guide (the infusion staff calls us, a few days after his infusion to make sure things are going well, they call my number. I talk to the nurse. And then I always put him on the phone to talk with her, so he can tell her himself how he feels. I see him light up over having conversation about "his condition" and wanting to tell her things, even if he doesn't remember her name. He remembers those infusions and how he feels. He even told her I'm his care partner. That's what I mean, by I think they know more than we think....at times...Best, Karla