My teen is self-harming/cutting

Posted by thriller54321 @thriller54321, Aug 24, 2012

My 15 year old has been cutting herself for about two years. My husband and I took her to see a psycologist a year ago but she refused to open up to her. I thought the cutting had stopped but Im noticing more wounds/cuts on her arm. She doesnt try to hide them. Is anyone having this problem? Thanks

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Many years ago I used to be a cutter. I can't say what your daughter is going through, but I can tell you from my experience, it was a way to control my out of control anxiety. The cutting is a symptom of Whatever illness is plaguing her. I didn't try to hide mine either because even though I wouldn't have admitted it at the time I was terrified and screaming for help. Maybe the therapist she saw wasn't the right one for her. Try someone else and get a recommendation from a pediatrician as to who is good with teens. Or maybe she would do better with a group therapy where she can talk to other teens instead of one on one with an adult which can be intimidating. Don't give up! Good luck!

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Hi I cut sometimes just release the stress in my life I go to my doctor every few weeks but they don't understand what I'm going through

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Cutting can be indicative of any number of underlying causes. I suggest asking your daughter how she felt about the therapist you took her to see. I also strongly advise that she attend the therapy sessions alone. You can drive her there, but the sessions should be private. (Also, don't grill her about the therapy after she has had a session.) If it turns out she did not like this therapist, try another and perhaps one that specializes in dealing with young adults. It would be wrong for me to hazard a guess as to why your daughter cuts, but if you can find a therapist that specializes in that as well, they will have an easier time getting to the bottom of it. A therapist that has seen this a lot, for instance, can even get an idea of the underlying problem from the location of the cuts. The fact she isn't hiding them suggests to me that she *does* want to talk to someone privately, but it may take her time to open up to a therapist. Find a therapist she feels comfortable with and then have her attend sessions regularly for some period of time in order to give her time to begin to trust that therapist. If you find the right one, she will eventually talk to the therapist about what is troubling her. There are a lot of bad therapists out there and/or there are just going to be some your daughter naturally "clicks with" better than others. Also ask your daughter if she prefers the therapist be male or female.

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I had a young friend who shared with me the problem that she had beginning when she was 15 years old. She used to cut herself, too. She told me that she had learned to shut down her feelings to the point she felt emotionless, regardless of what happened. She was pretty low in the self-esteem area, but she covered it up well.
She had a GOOD HOME LIFE... She said when she cut herself it was a 'relief' to feel the pain and the fright because at least it was FEELING something.
Her mother found out and insisted that Lacy go to therapy... which she did for several months. She did not have a drug problem, or one with alcohol. Lacy was otherwise a very likeable, delightful. intelligent young person who got on better with adults than her peers. She would have been MUCH better off with home schooling. She finished HS online, and then enjoyed taking some college classes of her choosing.
She was grateful for the therapy that her mother insisted upon. So, please do not give up. This is a problem that CAN be overcome. Good luck to you and your daughter.

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@nerak

Many years ago I used to be a cutter. I can't say what your daughter is going through, but I can tell you from my experience, it was a way to control my out of control anxiety. The cutting is a symptom of Whatever illness is plaguing her. I didn't try to hide mine either because even though I wouldn't have admitted it at the time I was terrified and screaming for help. Maybe the therapist she saw wasn't the right one for her. Try someone else and get a recommendation from a pediatrician as to who is good with teens. Or maybe she would do better with a group therapy where she can talk to other teens instead of one on one with an adult which can be intimidating. Don't give up! Good luck!

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I'm 51 & I self injure. I'm told it's bc of personality disorder. Also have much anxiety, depression & I'm bipolar. I don't hide my cuts either anymore. I do see a counselor & a psychiatrist. Am on a lot of meds which seem to help me control my impulses. Good luck!

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@kramer

Hi I cut sometimes just release the stress in my life I go to my doctor every few weeks but they don't understand what I'm going through

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Sorry to hear the pain you are in. Please try to talk with a therapist to help you fugue out what is bothering you on the inside

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@bettyann

I had a young friend who shared with me the problem that she had beginning when she was 15 years old. She used to cut herself, too. She told me that she had learned to shut down her feelings to the point she felt emotionless, regardless of what happened. She was pretty low in the self-esteem area, but she covered it up well.
She had a GOOD HOME LIFE... She said when she cut herself it was a 'relief' to feel the pain and the fright because at least it was FEELING something.
Her mother found out and insisted that Lacy go to therapy... which she did for several months. She did not have a drug problem, or one with alcohol. Lacy was otherwise a very likeable, delightful. intelligent young person who got on better with adults than her peers. She would have been MUCH better off with home schooling. She finished HS online, and then enjoyed taking some college classes of her choosing.
She was grateful for the therapy that her mother insisted upon. So, please do not give up. This is a problem that CAN be overcome. Good luck to you and your daughter.

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Recently I to just started this horrible journey with with16 year old daughter. We did intensive outpatient therapy along with medications. The most frustrating think is not working with the family on how to handle this. It tearing our family apart. What I did learn is to not add to the guilt after she cuts. (which is really hard sometimes). After she tells me she injured we talk to try to figure out why. I don't think after lots of therapy she has learned yet the cause.

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@bettyann

I had a young friend who shared with me the problem that she had beginning when she was 15 years old. She used to cut herself, too. She told me that she had learned to shut down her feelings to the point she felt emotionless, regardless of what happened. She was pretty low in the self-esteem area, but she covered it up well.
She had a GOOD HOME LIFE... She said when she cut herself it was a 'relief' to feel the pain and the fright because at least it was FEELING something.
Her mother found out and insisted that Lacy go to therapy... which she did for several months. She did not have a drug problem, or one with alcohol. Lacy was otherwise a very likeable, delightful. intelligent young person who got on better with adults than her peers. She would have been MUCH better off with home schooling. She finished HS online, and then enjoyed taking some college classes of her choosing.
She was grateful for the therapy that her mother insisted upon. So, please do not give up. This is a problem that CAN be overcome. Good luck to you and your daughter.

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Dear Peanut, Hello there. To me you sound like a WONDERFUL mother who really loves and cares for her daughter and is truly wanting to do the right thing.
Was the therapist aware of the division of your family members? This could be part ofthe problem. I wonder if your daughter is further 'punishing/cutting' herself because of this.
I am not implying anything is 'wrong' with your family, either...please do not think that... but sometimes a child feels such GUILT in saying anything 'against' a family member that they keep the cause hidden, for fear it will be 'her' fault to cause even more grief.
Or it may have NOTHING to do with that. Please, dear lady, just know, that this, too, shall pass. Hang in there, love her and hug her often, and reassure her that no matter what she does you are there for her. Best of luck to you.

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