My brother in law shot himself in front of my husband and youngest son. Both suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. They suffered from flashbacks, nightmares, sweats, depression, anxiety, anger or outright rage. October 6, 2010 my husband shot himself and my son saw his father in the car. Our lives have not gone on we don’t function, we just try to survive from one day to the next. How do you go on after a loved ones suicide? Our faith now is questionable, there are to many uncertainties, too much anger, at my husband and brother in law at God. For me there was no closure, no answers as to why, too many what ifs and blaming ourselves. How do we go on, how do we get past this? Is there life after suicide for the survivors? or just an empty existence?