Stuck: Lost All Ambition

Posted by blue99 @blue99, Oct 30, 2019

I am in my 60’s and I have had depression most of my life. However, I retired 2 years ago and it has not gone well. I have seen a couple different psychologist and I am taking anti-depressants. I do get better for awhile but it does not last. I have worked to make new contacts since retirement and I have stayed physically active but at the moment I have lost all ambition and it is hard work to do things I know I need to do to get better such as getting out of myself and doing something productive or fun. Please tell me what has worked for you.

Connect is therapy in its purest form. I am grateful.

REPLY
@ayeshasharma

@georgette that's beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Sometimes life has something unexpected in store, and only patience will allow that to reveal itself.

Jump to this post

@ayeshasharma I totally agree with you, you have to be happy yourself before you can make others happy . I can live alone and be happy or be social and be happy so I think its your perspective of life

REPLY
@gingerw

@blue99 Welcome to Mayo Connect. You will find we are a very diverse group of people! However, we cannot diagnose medical issues, nor can we advise. We do offer support, and talk about our own experiences and what has worked, or not worked, for us.

Like you, I retired in my early 60's mostly due to medical issues. I had been working full time for over 45 years, and it was quite a shock to wake up that first workday and not head out to my job. I had placed a lot of my energy and my social contacts within that job! It took me about 4 months, as I transitioned to "retired", to get my house cleaned up and rearranged, deciding what project I wanted to do. I took stock of what my skillset is and found that I wanted to volunteer [where I could say "no" if I wanted!] and work part time. Yes, I sought out therapy to help me sort through things, and am glad I did. Like you, I have been diagnosed with clinical depression a couple of times.

Honesty is critical. Talk to your doctor, and see what their thoughts are re medication and/or therapy of some sort. Journal what you are feeling, just to get it out of your head if nothing else. Get a complete physical to rule out any organic causes of the way you feel. Reach out and think about things you would like to try or learn, or get involved again in things you used to do. Get outside for fresh air and exercise when you can [this is so healing!].

Please be gentle on yourself, and continue here. If you had a blank slate for a week, what would you do that would be exciting to look forward to?
Ginger

Jump to this post

The worst part of depression for me is the mood-thought congruency that occurs, or the placing of all the terrible physical responses/sensations associated with a depressive episode on every thought that goes through your mind. Thoughts, that under normal circumstances wouldn't have enough force to stir a small feather, become twisted, unbearably painful, paralyzing – dire.. Knowing this doesn't seem to help me very much. I hope our fate is more meaningful than that proposed by existentialist philosopher and Nobel Prize wining journalist and author Albert Camus. His form of existentialism whet like this: Whatever you are doing at any particular point in your life, if it keeps you from killing yourself, keep doing it! I'm just saying

REPLY
@jc518938001

The worst part of depression for me is the mood-thought congruency that occurs, or the placing of all the terrible physical responses/sensations associated with a depressive episode on every thought that goes through your mind. Thoughts, that under normal circumstances wouldn't have enough force to stir a small feather, become twisted, unbearably painful, paralyzing – dire.. Knowing this doesn't seem to help me very much. I hope our fate is more meaningful than that proposed by existentialist philosopher and Nobel Prize wining journalist and author Albert Camus. His form of existentialism whet like this: Whatever you are doing at any particular point in your life, if it keeps you from killing yourself, keep doing it! I'm just saying

Jump to this post

How did Camus’s philosophy differ from Sartre’

REPLY

I’m in a similar stuck mode, so I’m looking for answers, too. I know it’s the depression coupled with the Effexor ER. Not sure how much of which and why. Confusing. Frustrating. I really need to get off Effexor ER.

REPLY
@jc518938001

The worst part of depression for me is the mood-thought congruency that occurs, or the placing of all the terrible physical responses/sensations associated with a depressive episode on every thought that goes through your mind. Thoughts, that under normal circumstances wouldn't have enough force to stir a small feather, become twisted, unbearably painful, paralyzing – dire.. Knowing this doesn't seem to help me very much. I hope our fate is more meaningful than that proposed by existentialist philosopher and Nobel Prize wining journalist and author Albert Camus. His form of existentialism whet like this: Whatever you are doing at any particular point in your life, if it keeps you from killing yourself, keep doing it! I'm just saying

Jump to this post

@jc518938001 Welcome to Mayo Connect. We are glad you came to sit at our cyber table and share with us. We each have our own life's experiences to share and here it can be done without judgment, and offer support to others. It takes a lot of hard work to battle up from a depressive episode, and each rung on the ladder seems so tenuous. For me, I have to find a wrench to throw in the wheel to stop the cycle. That wrench can be in the form of medication, or therapy, exercise, creative endeavors, writing, you get my point. If you are comfortable sharing, tell us more about yourself, what types of depression have you experienced, and what resources have you tried to combat it? We're listening….
Ginger

REPLY
@blue99

I have friends and relatives who have depression and they will tell me they get mad when people tell them to take action because with their depression there is nothing they can do. I don't agree and that is why I try to get help and take action. Sometimes no matter what I do I don't feel better but I work as hard as I can, which is very hard when depressed, to get better.

Jump to this post

Hello @blue99

It's been a while since you last posted. How are you coming along with your retirement and depression? Have you found any help since you last posted?

REPLY

A nice read for today is the Connect member spotlight on @johnhans, who has been involved in this discussion on being stuck. Take a look, make a comment and share it with others on your social media accounts, if you'd like https://connect.mayoclinic.org/page/about-connect/newsfeed-post/encouraging-others-by-letting-them-know-ive-made-it-meet-johnhans

REPLY

I am taking Lamictal, Zoloft, Clonazepam, and Adderall. I also take B Complex Vitamins (suggested by a Pharmacist). It sounds like a strange combination. I have ADHD, so that is what the Adderall is for. It gives me slight energy, but helps me concentrate. I am on Zoloft and I told my Family Physician that I thought it was no longer working. He added Lamictal, which helped. The Clonazepam is for anxiety. Recently, I was put on a taper for the Clonazepam. The taper was too fast and I got very sick. I decided to taper myself. I am feeling much better. I am cutting my dose in half right now. I know Clonazepam is a benzo, that many physicians are trying to get their patients off. I believe I still need it for my anxiety. Without it, I am jumpy, feel nervous, have trouble sleeping, and have anxiety attacks. The NP/Psychiatrist that I was suppose to see (not until May), tells patients she won't see them until they taper off their Clonazepam. Her tapering method is incorrect – off in 3 weeks. You said you are going to a Psychologist, it must be a Psychologist allowed to prescribe medication. Maybe, you should see a Psychiatrist and get a second opinion. Either it is the incorrect medication for your body or you have something (can't remember name), where your body stops accepting the medication, and you have to experiment with different medications. Were you okay before you quit working; that can be depressing. I quit working at age 61 due to sever workplace bullying. I was told I couldn't work so put on disability. When I turned 60? When I turned 60, my disability changed to Medicare (which I didn't know). I have had depression since I was about 14. I have been on many medications. I heard that if there was a medication that once worked for you, you can try it again. It can be hard to find the correct medications. If someone has bipolar disease, it can take up to 10 years to get the medications correct. I also found out that there are Pharmopsychiatrists. There are not many. I always thought they would be the best to go to, since they know about pharmacy, which many physicians aren't totally educated about. I believe they take 1 semester of pharmacy in college. Physicians should constantly keep up with medications, since they change so much. I suppose that while Psychiatrists are in college, they learn more about Psychotropic medications. I think that a Psychiatrist that is "well-seasoned" is better and more knowledgeable, since they have worked with more patients. I hope a Physician can find the correct medications for you. It is horrible to be depressed. Those who are not depressed have difficulty understanding. You could also do some studying about medications yourself and ask what the Physician thinks. Your Physician should be very aware of how you are feeling, and ask you a lot of questions to personalize medications for you. Sometimes, you can ask a Pharmacist. They might give you some ideas, since they know so much about medications. You could tell them what you are taking, and maybe they have customers they know, who are taking certain medications for their depression. They can only suggest. Everyone is different though. I believe there is a test being worked on that can check you to see what medications might work better for patients. I also think they are getting closer to finding the gene that people with mental illness have. I would have to check that again. Good luck. I think my best advice would be a second opinion from a Psychiatrist with high ratings and who has been seeing patients for more years. Make sure you always check every Physician you see, and check if there are any disciplinary action(s) taken against them or other problems. I am not sure of the site at this moment, but I have done this before, finding out that my daughter's Psychiatrist had disciplinary actions in 3 states (taking his own drugs). It is good to walk, get some sunshine, or a sunshine light. There are things you can do to help yourself. One thing I have researched about having depression, is that your brain is different. . I believe it has something to do with electricity and neurons not getting together properly. It would be easy to look up. I am currently/slowly writing a children's book about bipolar disorder (which my daughter has). It is to help children understand bipolar disease in a very simple way they can understand, so they aren't afraid of their parent or others. I am hoping it will give them some ideas of what it really is. Good luck, and if you want, you can let us know how it goes, should you decide to try suggestions. Again, good luck and I hope you feel better soon.

REPLY
@grandmaj5

I am taking Lamictal, Zoloft, Clonazepam, and Adderall. I also take B Complex Vitamins (suggested by a Pharmacist). It sounds like a strange combination. I have ADHD, so that is what the Adderall is for. It gives me slight energy, but helps me concentrate. I am on Zoloft and I told my Family Physician that I thought it was no longer working. He added Lamictal, which helped. The Clonazepam is for anxiety. Recently, I was put on a taper for the Clonazepam. The taper was too fast and I got very sick. I decided to taper myself. I am feeling much better. I am cutting my dose in half right now. I know Clonazepam is a benzo, that many physicians are trying to get their patients off. I believe I still need it for my anxiety. Without it, I am jumpy, feel nervous, have trouble sleeping, and have anxiety attacks. The NP/Psychiatrist that I was suppose to see (not until May), tells patients she won't see them until they taper off their Clonazepam. Her tapering method is incorrect – off in 3 weeks. You said you are going to a Psychologist, it must be a Psychologist allowed to prescribe medication. Maybe, you should see a Psychiatrist and get a second opinion. Either it is the incorrect medication for your body or you have something (can't remember name), where your body stops accepting the medication, and you have to experiment with different medications. Were you okay before you quit working; that can be depressing. I quit working at age 61 due to sever workplace bullying. I was told I couldn't work so put on disability. When I turned 60? When I turned 60, my disability changed to Medicare (which I didn't know). I have had depression since I was about 14. I have been on many medications. I heard that if there was a medication that once worked for you, you can try it again. It can be hard to find the correct medications. If someone has bipolar disease, it can take up to 10 years to get the medications correct. I also found out that there are Pharmopsychiatrists. There are not many. I always thought they would be the best to go to, since they know about pharmacy, which many physicians aren't totally educated about. I believe they take 1 semester of pharmacy in college. Physicians should constantly keep up with medications, since they change so much. I suppose that while Psychiatrists are in college, they learn more about Psychotropic medications. I think that a Psychiatrist that is "well-seasoned" is better and more knowledgeable, since they have worked with more patients. I hope a Physician can find the correct medications for you. It is horrible to be depressed. Those who are not depressed have difficulty understanding. You could also do some studying about medications yourself and ask what the Physician thinks. Your Physician should be very aware of how you are feeling, and ask you a lot of questions to personalize medications for you. Sometimes, you can ask a Pharmacist. They might give you some ideas, since they know so much about medications. You could tell them what you are taking, and maybe they have customers they know, who are taking certain medications for their depression. They can only suggest. Everyone is different though. I believe there is a test being worked on that can check you to see what medications might work better for patients. I also think they are getting closer to finding the gene that people with mental illness have. I would have to check that again. Good luck. I think my best advice would be a second opinion from a Psychiatrist with high ratings and who has been seeing patients for more years. Make sure you always check every Physician you see, and check if there are any disciplinary action(s) taken against them or other problems. I am not sure of the site at this moment, but I have done this before, finding out that my daughter's Psychiatrist had disciplinary actions in 3 states (taking his own drugs). It is good to walk, get some sunshine, or a sunshine light. There are things you can do to help yourself. One thing I have researched about having depression, is that your brain is different. . I believe it has something to do with electricity and neurons not getting together properly. It would be easy to look up. I am currently/slowly writing a children's book about bipolar disorder (which my daughter has). It is to help children understand bipolar disease in a very simple way they can understand, so they aren't afraid of their parent or others. I am hoping it will give them some ideas of what it really is. Good luck, and if you want, you can let us know how it goes, should you decide to try suggestions. Again, good luck and I hope you feel better soon.

Jump to this post

Sorry, I forgot to mention that I am replying to "Stuck" blue99.

REPLY
@georgette12

As for friends and relatives who tell a person to take action while suffering from the symptoms we're discussing, I've had to make tough choices in who to let into my life. I have layers of people. Some I trust with my deepest feelings. Others I trust only with superficial thoughts…and share minimal feelings. I work on being authentic. Unfortunately that limits who I let into my life. The hardest relationships are with others who judge what they do not know .

Jump to this post

I have let very few know my depression, mostly family and then very limited. However the last couple years I have been much more open which helps others understand some of my behavior and it has helped very much.

REPLY
@hopeful33250

Hello @blue99

It's been a while since you last posted. How are you coming along with your retirement and depression? Have you found any help since you last posted?

Jump to this post

Yes I have not come back here for awhile. I am doing much better and focusing on gratitude and thankful for what I have. Thank you.

REPLY
Please sign in or register to post a reply.
  Request Appointment