So many drugs

I have treatment resistant depression — a real thing with studies all over the place. My genetics also don’t like a lot of other meds, like for pain (my pain management people have literally said, to my face, we have no other options) and even sedation (I went through cataract surgery asking when was the sedative going to start working).

That said, I’ve also been through a number of therapists who tried all the fancy acronyms (NARM, CBT, DBT, ACT) as well as Intensive Outpatient and talk therapy. The one that did finally click is Internal Family Systems which is based on a belief that we all have parts, e.g., when you woke up this morning, part of you said ‘stay in bed’ and another part said ‘no, I have to get up and do adulting’. I’m working on my many, many, many parts which were traumatized as a child and adult.

There is also TMS, which is a non-invasive treatment for depression and if your depression stems from trauma, EMDR. Personally, I have complex PTSD plus quiet BPD, plus DID and am getting ECT starting in January.

Feel free to ask me anything if you relate to my experience.

@thisismarilynb Good topic! And @suzleigh has given you some great resources to think about.

For me, first figuring out my depression, why I have it, where it is coming from, was key. Then deciding that I wanted to do something about it. It is not one-size-fits-all, definitely, in either case. In my experience, talk therapy was critical. Also, getting out to do physical activity within my limits [gets the endorphins going!]. Researching distractions: doing artwork, journaling, crafting, cooking. What you'll find out as you go through the process is that there might be things you used to do, haven't done for a long time, and forgot how much pleasure they brought to you.

Will you let me know how you feel about the responses you get here?
Ginger

I know exactly how you feel and I’m having the same issue, I seem to be unable to get the help necessary to combat depression and health anxiety.. I would be happier if I could adjust to the medications that help with this. I too would like to find something that works well and not all the nasty side effects but they probably don’t exist, my previous doctor used to say that it’s a trade off, I can’t say that I liked this but perhaps there is some truth to this. I think that people who have this problem can try homeopathy and see how their medication works because they’re more natural, I’ve tried a few but they don’t help me much, I’ve also heard about having your DNA tested to see what works best for you but it’s very expensive.

Try:
Hypnosis.
EFT.
Acupuncture.
Prayer.
CBT.
Nutrition.
Affirmations.
Meditation.
Exercise.
Volunteering.
Some of the above.
All of the above.

I have fought depression since I was about 14, always feeling superfluous and unworthy.
The incessant pain since my stroke seven years ago wears me down. But practicing the above techniques helps.

@gingerw So far I have not received very many responses. I think I know what causes my depression. All my life I have felt unnormal. That is not a typo. It describes how I feel. I was treated with disdain. As a little girl no one wanted to play with me. As an adult no one wanted me for a friend. I have no idea why my husband married me. He was a wonderful man and very much like by all. There were many times that I actually wondered if there was something wrong with him that he chose me. Now he is gone and I am back at square one. I have been disrespected by my younger son to such a degree that I had to stop communicating with him. Very hard decision to make. But it was either that or continue to receive the barbs and insults. The only thing to come out of this is that it has made me strong. I ran away from a bad mother and had to make it on my own. I did it. I have had to advocate for myself. But right now I am drowning in depression. If you would see my kitchen you would see how bad it is. But yesterday I did get dressed and went out to shop for a couple of sweaters. Today I am hoping to get dressed and go to the library because I need more books to read. Tomorrow I have no choice because I have to go to podiatry. But if I don't have something specific to do, I stay in my pyjamas and read. But one thing I know for sure. I will not take drugs. They do not act on me like they are expected to. Once I had an anaphylactic shock just from taking Lisinopril. This is a popular drug taken for high blood pressure. For me it meant 3 days in ICU and a week in the hospital. At any rate I am coming to the end of my life so nothing matters any more. I am 91 but in good health. I live alone and take care of myself. I can and do drive. But I am aware that at this age anything can and may happen to me.
Thank you for your interest.

@suzleigh I have had some grief therapy. I was diagnosed as having PTSD due to child abuse and abandonment. My doctor has not suggested any kind of therapy. I really think that our broken health system is to blame. I get 10 minutes. Sometimes I have to remind him to listen to my heart. He simply doesn't have time to go into all of this.

@scottrl Looking at your list. First I must tell you that prayer is out. I am a humanist and believe that I am responsible for myself and the things I do. I had an appointment with a nutritionist. I eat healthy but too much. Since then I have been working on portion control and have lost 20 lbs. It is hard and slow but worth it. Volunteering is out as I am too old. I don't know how I managed it, but I am 91 and in good health. I take care of myself and still drive. As to the other suggestions, I don't know if my health plan offers any of them and I cannot afford to pay. I received a notice from Social Security that my monthly check will be going down. So right now I live from day to day. If the depression is bad I mostly stay in bed. If it is not bad, I get out of bed. If it is not bothering me too much I will get dressed.

@thisismarilynb To some extent, your life is my life. Abusive mother, two abusive spouses; the current (third) spouse is wonderful, but I tell him to call me lemonade because he married a lemon.
I don’t remember most of my life due to early and severe trauma which turned my memory button off. I’ve tried the therapies (as I said above).
I’m going to recommend one more thing for you — group therapy, which may be no cost. My local Behavioral Health does a group specifically for older adults (like me) who are alone and need some socialization. Or, there might be groups for seniors who are widowed. When I get through some more therapy and ECT, I may try the group myself. The one I’m looking at takes Medicare.
And, BTW, looking at your note below, my bet is you have complex PTSD — meaning it went on for years. This is treated vastly different than the typical PTSD.

@suzleigh Yes, you are right. The abuse went on for as long as I can remember. I shy away from group therapy. I cannot open up to others. I live in a small town and it doesn't have much. Even to go to a Costco or a Target I have to drive to another place. I have an appointment with my doctor in April. I will re-evaluate how I feel then. But today I did get dressed, I went to the library, I put clean sheets on the bed and folded a load of towels. More than I have done in a while. I am waiting for my dinner to finish cooking. I don't think I will be able to do kitchen duty this evening.

Something I should have mentioned:

My personal, non-professional, Number-One tip for dealing with episodes of depression: