Any suggestions for my son's self talking and visual stimming?

Posted by roohsharma @roohsharma, Jul 4, 2022

Hi
I have 3.7 years old son and he has repetitive behaviour for rhymes or whatever he observed. Play with his hands or objects instead of a child or person. Any suggestions please?
Thanks

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Hello @roohsharma, Welcome to Connect. I know it has to be difficult not knowing what to do to help. I was not familiar with visual stimming but I did find this site which has information that sounds like it might be helpful.

How to Help a Child with Stimming/Self-Stimulatory Behaviors: https://www.speechandlanguagekids.com/flapping-and-self-stimulatory-behaviors/

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Hi @roohsharma, I'd like to add my welcome. I'm tagging fellow members @alexisdewilde @linh @mitzi3 @jennsprung @keely21, who have children or grandchildren on the spectrum.

Roohsharma, what does your son's stimming behavior look like? Are you concerned that this behavior may be harmful to him?

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A sibling has a autistic boy who is a only child so his parents could afford to go to great expense. As a result this may not be of any help to you at all. They hired carefully selected gifted Au Pairs for a number of years. They also got the child a service dog and that is no small undertaking. They were fortunate to live in a affluent area with special therapists in music, gymnastics, swimming, etc. The Au Pair would drive him to his lessons. They were also able to hire graduate students working towards advanced degrees in the field to fill in as well. And as I recall they had a specialist come to their house and train them to work with their child from the onset.

I never asked them what their insurance policy or government paid for. I know they connected with Autistic organizations, attended their conferences and got to know local group members. They learned the ropes through them.

I can't say I agreed with everything. For instance a specialist helped them keep age appropriate toys around him. I myself have Asperger's and to this day still have and treasure some toys that are not age appropriate! I remember their child had this calendar that he could look at that spelled out what he was to do and when throughout the day. He lived a highly structured life, engaged by a Au Pair (while both parents worked), and I was even brought in at one point to give him weekly art lessons, and read him stories which I still do monthly now. My reading to him gets rescheduled if he isn't having a good day.

They were fortune that my stepmother took a deep interest in the child, and she helped them out immensely I'm told. The down side to living in a affluent area is they had to compete with super wealthy for Au Pairs and on one occasion lost theirs, being unable to offer the same benefits after they had trained them.

I watched all this and remember feeling sorry for the kid. My mother let me go out in the backyard and make mud pies if I wanted to. I would never trade his upbringing for my less structured one. When I did repetitive movements my mother just yelled at me to stop them, "You're shaking the car, stop it"!

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@roohsharma At 3.7 years, there can be a lot of things suddenly being thrown at a child in the manner of external triggers. A lot of noise, people using language that is not clearly understood, visual stimulation in the form of colors and movement. All these can serve to make your son pretty anxious. Sometimes less hectic surroundings will be what is needed to get calmed down. By not interacting with another child or person, your son is allowing himself to get breathing space. If things are too intense, your son might "shut down" and retreat.

Have you had an opportunity to have your son evaluated for signs of autism, and where he may be on the spectrum? I applaud you for taking an interest in his well-being, sincerely hope you let us know what the professionals say about his case!
Ginger

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@roohsharma - Do you live in the US?
It appears that your young son has some behaviors that point to autistic or spectrum tendencies.
It is recommended that children get evaluated for these behavioral disorders as early as possible in order to start treatment and schooling at an early age.
If you live in the US, you can reach out to your local school system and request an evaluation- totally free of charge. You can also ask the Social Services in your area.
The important thing to remember is that it is your right to have your child evaluated and educated.

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