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SAD/Angry/SAD/Guilty/SAD
I have read this situation here but have never experienced it myself until recently:
My DH is stage 5 VD and some days cannot dress himself. He has a son, daughter and stepdaughter from a previous marriage. The stepdaughter has caused a big riff in the family. She seems to have turned the son and daughter somewhat against me which makes me very sad because we have had a great relationship for 17 years.
Today was devastating to me - his son took him to lunch and the stepdaughter met them at the restaurant. It apparently was planned. He didn't know she was coming (he doesn't want to be around her) and neither did I. I feel they plotted behind my back. Unfortunately, when he told me she was there, I lost it, not at him, but to him and I can't get the guilty feeling to go away. It really upset him and I never intended that to happen. I pray this won't cause him to digress. Why didn't I just take a deep breath?
As if we don't have enough on our plates…….
Thank you for letting me vent -
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Your reaction is understandable. Feeling betrayed and left out is a natural response when plans are made behind your back, especially with someone who has caused conflict. You are under stress, and one moment of losing your cool does not erase 17 years of care. Focus on reconnecting with your husband now, maybe with a simple, quiet activity, and try to let the guilt go.
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3 ReactionsI completely agree with bridgeback2.
Your reaction is understandable. You were betrayed and left out. More stress you don't need. He might be their dad, but he's your husband and your responsibility, just like if he were a small child and you were the mom. They were wrong to arrange a secret meeting,
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3 ReactionsI'm sure we all respond at times in a way we wish we could go back and change. Sorry for the situation. Be kind to yourself. When I didn't fully understand my mom's dementia, I reacted at times in frustration. But, I learned. It's the best I can do.