I can’t believe it … I was just almost ready to post this, and my computer crashed. Anyhow, I think I’ve been through the whole thing about moving from MD to VA because my girls live down here and they’ve been wanting me to move down for several years. I’d been in MD 30 plus years and had my own condo (me and the bank). Well, I am so sorry I moved … I’m obviously not a young chick (71), was divorced about 10 years ago which was traumatic, and since then I had a knee replacement and then 2 years later had to have a revision – which is having it done all over again with a new part. My dog died just about 2 months ago, and where I live is essentially a college town. The closest church like mine in MD is 1-1/2 hrs. away. Everything that was important to me, except for my family, is in MD ….. my neighborhood, my friends, my church, essentially my “nest.”
I have Bipolar II with the emphasis on the depression. I never feel up …. “flat” is a good day. I have been struggling with some serious depression for months now and with winter coming …. well, it’s worse. I still go up to MD every other week to see my therapist and my Psychiatrist.
My kids say, “get out, go do something!” That sounds fine, but I don’t know my way around anywhere here, I have no money to spend – I’m in a debt consolidation program; they say “volunteer” ….. sounds good too but I can barely get out of bed in the morning. It’s gotten so bad that when I wake up, I make a hot cup of tea and immediately take my meds., watch the weather and a bit of news until the meds kick in. Only then do I even care about getting dressed. My kids, of course, don’t want to hear it. Like their Dad (well 2 of them anyhow), “just get moving” is the answer. Sure, I would if I could.
I hate it here …. I’m giving it til Spring and if nothing changes, I’m going home. I essentially live on S.S. and some money my son gives me each month, so I don’t even ever fill the gas tank anymore. I don’t use CC’s because of being in the debt consolidation program, so I pay for everything with cash or a check. That’s OK, I don’t mind that, but none of this would have happened if I had stayed where I was happy.
Thanks for listening.