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Joined: Sep 12, 2011

reactive attachment disorder

Posted by @na, Sep 12, 2011

Is there anyone out there who is experiencing the pain and disappointment of having a child who cannot love you? Sure would like to hear from you.



Posts: 176
Joined: Nov 05, 2011
Posted by @deliasanderson, Nov 14, 2011

was your child born like this, if so, you can simply be the giver of love but guide her about appropriate behavior re respect towards yourself and others.

— Acquired detatchment
i believe i knew someone who had this but outgrew it after she had her own children. so just keep loving her. a mother’s/father’s job is like that to a large degree anyway. i believe it came from a feeling that her father didn’t love her because he got very angry and blamed her for something a child could never be blamed for. sometimes children are blamed for things that adults feel guilty about and when a child feels this he/she knows it’s not fair and that warm trusting little child shuts down and she grows up very quickly. the child may come out again in your child while a child if there was some incident you can remember and if it’s you, address it with a huge authentic apology.. if not you perhaps you could find out or discover, but don’t question, just observe because this may be deeply buried and she’s put on the armor and if the questions address some deep pain the armor could get reinforced. engage the child in her and be playful with her, your personal relationship is of the essence. appreciate nature and outdoor sports together


Posts: 5
Joined: Dec 17, 2011
Posted by @kecsystem, Dec 17, 2011

We adopted a couple of kids with RAD. And yes, it hurt terribly some of the time. But one of ours came around at age 25 and is now seeking professional help for his issues. I can now say that I admire him. Sorry you are suffering.


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Joined: Mar 15, 2012
Posted by @binnerkelsey, Mar 15, 2012

I am 18 years old and I have reactive attchment disorder. I know it is really hard on my parents and I want to love and trust them, but its really hard. I’ve been to treatment but I just want you to love your child unconditionally. They really do love you too but they dont know how to trust themselves to love anyone, probably not even themself. I mean thats how it is for me. This is a disorder that is lifelong and needs a lot of patience.

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Posts: 5
Joined: May 16, 2012
Posted by @auntiemom, May 16, 2012

I am the guardian of a ten year old. We have been struggling with this since she moved in with me five years ago. On mothers day she broke three of my ribs. I am so frustrated that I am almost ready to just throw in the towel.

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