Recognizing my own bias or prejudice .....
I know I am very guilty of classifying people in general, and regarding weight in particular. Living in the bible/heart attack/ diabetes belt, it simply blows my mind how many obese people I see every single day when out and about. Granted, fewer of those at Dillard’s than Walmart. Still, in addition to being concerned, I am also judging those people. I know I should not, but how in the world can someone get that fat? It would take years of dedicated overeating to reach that. No, I really don’t think that all of them have a medical issue, seeing what’s in their grocery carts. Someone help me get a less judgmental attitude when I’ve been semi-denying myself all those chips and cookies and fries for decades?? I live and eat well, but treats should be treats, not daily food.
Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk group.
@ihtak46
Let me offer my condolences regarding your daughter. I know many people who have lost children of all ages, mostly from Status Epilepticus or Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy. My girlfriend died in an car accident at 17. As horrible as that was I know it pails in comparison to your loss. Somethings you never get over. Many friends have told me there is no greater loss than the loss of a child. If I knew the person I would write a letter telling the parents how much happiness their child brought into my life.
Jake
Hi “ellerbracke”,
I believe I do the same thing. Im not at all a mean person but I do have a bad tendency to be judgmental.
For a while it was almost constant. Im trying to keep my mouth shut! I figure if I think it, its ok but keep it in….usually I make comments. Unfortunately not only about heavy people, mostly women but also people who are dressed weird, or people who dont bother to clean up or comb their hair before they go out. I hate when I see a mother and dad with a child….Mom and Dad have a jacket and hat on, the baby is in short sleeves, no hat! And…..so MUCH more. ( A 4 year old with a pacifier.). Crap, so much pisses me off! Im trying to do better.
“ellerbracke”, I agree with what you said too. How can people let themselves get THAT huge(?). Being a
little overweight is fine, but when I see people obese or 60 plus pounds overweight, I just wonder. Bad habit, uh?
The reason Im trying to be better is of course I should but the real reason is my daughter used to always tell me I shouldnt be so judgmental. She was right. We lost our daughter suddenly June 3. She gad a birthday on Aug 1……would have been 46. We are still in bad shape, feeling lost and empty. I cry every day. Its tough. No mother or dad should outlive their child. I have my story with Mayo Connect.
Regarding being judgmental, Im so bad, I make comments about people in commercials !!! My bad?😫
“eller”, take care.
I whine, too. They should have a “bitch session” section on Mayo Connect
Kathi Fodor
(My story is under: Recent, sudden, traumatic loss, etc.)
ithak46
@jakedduck1 at least you do have your brother and he should shoulder part of your mother’s care. I don’t say “burden” because I’m sure you love your mother and loved ones are never a burden, just an inconvenience.
If they do “yank” your license are you in an area where you can walk or take public transportation to get around? I am not and that was always a concern for me when I had cirrhosis because sometimes if you are subject to HE episodes you do lose your license. I really can not stand being dependent on anyone, not even my husband.
JK
@and you still are….entertaining that is……and nudge is a gentle prod for goodness sakes…you’re not going to fall over.
FL Mary
eller, Congratulations, you are awesome.
@contentandwell I'm a binge eater too. I just had 4 brownies . I'm bad
@imallears
True enough. I just don’t want to be fat so I do try and make a good faith effort at eating icky veggies and healthy junk instead of my favorite, candy….speaking of
Jake
@jakedduck1 HI Leonard . I gave up my license 2 years ago yes its hard not to just go when you want but with the financial part of a car I'm glad I did. I have my groceries delivered . Walmart will delivery free if you order at least 35.00 Also Instacart deliveries for 9.99 I love the delivery service . I cant get out and shop so this is ideal for me . Insurances have Express Script at least mine does that will mail your meds for you so they come to your mailbox. Its ideal for us who just cant get out .
@ihtak46 I'm so sorry for your loss . I don't know how you get over this loss . My husband has been gone 19 yrs and I still miss him . To loss a child is so much worse I think . I'm so sorry Blessings to you
@lioness. For some reason it’s been easier recently, I have no idea why, plus I don’t keep many sweets in the house except for dark chocolate — usually around 85% cocoa. My husband has to have some dessert every night but he has no problem limiting it to a small amount. His father was a pastry chef! Maybe that’s why, there must have always been yummy treats available.
Oooh, that cake at the rehearsal dinner and the cake at the wedding were soooooo good. 😋. I do actually weigh my food though and am generally pretty good. I do not want to regain the weight I lost.
JK
@contentandwell I know what you mean and it is so easy to put it on again. I love the dark chocolate have to kisses a day Hershey makes the dark chocolate and I find the kisses to be just enough .
@imallears : you echoed a lot of the feelings I have about people who simply don’t care about their weight. My parents and most of my aunts and uncles were moderately overweight – as in size 14, generally. One uncle skinny as a rail, one aunt slender, and one morbidly obese. She died dismally of congestive heart failure, not a pleasant way to go. So there is some family history that made me very aware of watching your weight. Another family example: have one grandson who was perhaps 15 to 20 lbs. overweight by the time he was 14. It just crept up on him. Any gentle nudge to put the brakes on his eating did not work. Until: during some school-sponsored summer lecture he attended a presentation by a physician detailing the effects of juvenile diabetes. Guess what? From that day on he simply stopped eating any kind of sweets, cold turkey. He’s now a very healthy looking 16 yr. old.
Regarding food choices: a lot has to do with the triggers – salt, sugar, fat. I read a book some time ago explaining how the fast food and packaged goods industry sneaks in extra hidden amounts of these ingredients to hook people. Not easy to escape the lure! Other than commercially baked bread (the artisanal kind, from Lidl, mostly), cheeses, and – yep, we partake – cold cuts, I hardly buy any prepared food or meals. I make my own marinara sauce, own enchilada sauce, own taco seasoning, etc…May cave to “light” canned soups once in a while, or vegetable spring rolls, but mostly I cook from scratch, with fresh ingredients. I’l lucky to have the time and interest to do so. Regarding cost: smart shopping and planning ahead can make home cooking ridiculously cheap. For example, recently an up-scale grocery chain has offered roasted chickens for $ 5.00 on Thursdays. Enough for one meal (with a nice big salad, and some garlic bread), then I remove and dice all the remaining meat and make a white chicken chili (onion, garlic, canned diced chilies, spices, rinsed cannelini beans, low salt chicken broth, a hint of sharp cheddar at the end). So 2 meals, for 2 people, for under $10.00 = $2.50 per person, per meal.
Just saying…..