New Member - First Post

My wife has vascular dementia. She had a maj stroke about 2 yrs ago. She still walks ok but slow and stumbles a lot. Get cameras in all the rooms. I use blink it is with wifi. They have micophones on them so I can talk to her if I am out for a bit. She now cannot go to resturants of groc. store. It is too stimulating for her. Friends do not come by. She wouldn't recognize them anyway. Her family is out of town so they rarely come by either. She cannot use phone anymore.I have locked stove and taking burner knobs off. lI have system on doors so it notifies me if they are shook. getslocks on doors that require key. Hide keys. She can not open doors that way. You will probably need a grief counselor to talk to. Look at utube videos, sites like this, ask questions. Remember what helps one maynot help you. Or if it does help today it will not help tomorrow, but may help the next day.

@phx611 -some of the things you describe have happened to my husband…legs giving out, (rarely) suddenly being scared of going outside in the dark. I need to do more homework. Thank you for sharing your father’s experiences. This forum is so very helpful.

@georgescraftjr Bless YOU for helping us face what is coming, though we know not exactly what it will look like. Please take good care of yourself, and continue to post here.

I am new to this particular group as well. I am on other groups on this site and they have been very helpful. My mother has dementia. Her short term memory is absolutely terrible. It started in January and has really escalated. It is so hard to watch and hard to deal with as she will call me several times a day having forgotten that she has talked to me. My brother lives with her, so she is taken care of. I feel for him, though, as it is difficult for me and I am not with her 24/7 like he is. She can be really emotionally abusive, which is not new. She has diabetes Type 2 and always wants cake or ice cream. She just had an appendicitis and they tried to do laparoscopic surgery, however she had myself and my brother via c-section in 1968 and 1970. There was too much scar tissue and she had also been on blood thinners. The surgery was difficult and the doctor gave her a 50/50 chance of making it. After 4 days in ICU and then 5 days in the hospital, she went to a rehab and that was a nightmare as she wanted to go home. She stayed a week. She is home now and PT, OT and a nurse come a couple of times a week. I went to see them on Thanksgiving and she is much better and was walking around some although she decided to go lie down while I was there, which is unheard of. I hope to get support and support you all. Watching a loved one's mind go is brutal. All of this one day at a time.

One day at a time. With my husband I try to focus on what is still there. He has a problem following the plot in movies but likes looking at the scenery if the background is beautiful. He still likes being told that he is the love of my life, enjoys hugs and kisses if I initiate them. I have learned that he does not know I am there unless I am standing directly in front of him- loss of peripheral vision is common with dementia. Hang in there you are not alone. This is a great place to get support.

One evening shortly before my dad died from Alzheimer’s, I heard him laughing as if he found something so funny. He was sitting in the living room in his recliner watching tv. I was in the kitchen and regret that I didn’t stop cleaning up and go see what he found so amusing. A rather popular song was playing on the tv. I could hear the sound but didn’t see what was on the screen. The song is a beautiful ballad and not humorous at all, so I imagine there must have been something funny going on while this song was playing. I’m going to try to find out what was on that brought Daddy so much happiness that night.

The song was playing a weeknight between 8:00 -9:00 pm. Eastern time (Daylight savings) around early July 2025.

This is the song. I think of daddy laughing so heartily every time I hear it now. Considering the title……it was prophetic. It’s called Die With A Smile.
https://m.youtube.com/watch

@celia16 Beautiful!