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virtuous69
@virtuous69

Posts: 106
Joined: Mar 09, 2017

Never ending stress and not enough income $$

Posted by @virtuous69, Aug 24, 2017

Hi, I,m Virtuous 69 and originally signed up under the Chronic pain discussion group.My main issue is lack of finances to treat what I have and not being able to do the positive steps that I should be doing. I have Fibro, had mono , occasional CFS, but mainly spinal stenosis, a full back and neck of degenetative disc disease. I am 69 and my husband is,79. I hurt and bedridden with heating pad and Vicodin most of the morning. My husband works 3 days a week in retail, and though he attended a rhumatologist lecture for family members to understand Fibromyalgis, he is virtually no help around the house on his 4 days off. Won’t ever fix himself something to eat if I,m not ready to fix breakfast or lunch. His Fortune 500 retail business cut all grandfathered employees hours, and took away all our employer
Benefits, medical, dental, vision, stock and life insurance leaving us only with Medicare while we scrambled to find secondary insurance instant like AARP. Our finances suddenly hit took bottom, could scarcely pay our space rent on our mobile home. Had to let my once per month housecleaner and once per month gardener go. Our home fell into shambles and my hair started to fall out. Spent two weeks writing up resumes for my husband and we were very aware of age discrimination as he went job hunting. MY spinal issues got progressively worse. We attended a great church and belonged to a wonderful life group that was our family and support. Our church sold to another more modern church painted black, and left over video of preaching from Sat night from the mega mother church. Wonderful friends left our church and so did we in search of good teaching and friendly. We have have felt so alone and advised we need to move out of our high income area in Silicon Valley. My husband needed new glasses, catarac surgery and has lost a vast amount of his hearing, so that he mistakes every thing I say, and we argue all.the time. I can,t bend over to vacuum and tidy up. Our once beautiful older mobile home used to be clean, but is in much need of internal cleaning and repair. It’s trashed. I’ve been given several phone # s of agencies for the aged and it’s a very good pay for services. My husband won’t lift a finger to help, sits on his rocker all day, except to hedge some bushes during nice weather. Refuses to develop outside friendships with other men. There are not enough funds for any simple pleasure. We feel encased in our dark mobile home and Don,t know where to move. Every week another appliance falls apart. But.had great friends myand support system before everyone left us. I know my Redeemer lives, but I can,t take it anymore.

REPLY

Dear @virtuous,

It’s a tough feeling to experience what you are going through. When we feel isolated, we tend to change or lose our perspective on hope, – but please know that you are not alone. I’d like to invite @johnjames @overwhelmed @jimhd @amberpep @twobluelady @gentleness @parus to join this discussion, and share their stories and struggles, and perhaps their insights on continuing to be resilient and believing in yourself.
If you wish, you can read about their experiences in some of these discussions in the Mental Health group on Connect: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/mental-health/
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/i-survived-suicide-attempts/
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/long-term-depression/

@virtuous, I know it’s hard to believe, but you won’t feel like this forever…as the saying goes, “This too shall pass.”

Hi Dori, (@virtuous, @virtuous69),

How was your weekend? How are you doing?

Hello Dori @virtuous69

I am so sorry to hear of all of the difficult changes that you are going through right now. Health and finances are big concerns for everyone and when they come at the same time it can seem overwhelming. I hope that you are able to connect with some support groups in your area. Is there a NAMI group near you? They can be quite helpful for folks dealing with depression and anxiety.

Have you and your husband been able to talk about the stressors in your life? Communication is very important at times like these. Keep in touch, we are here to listen and offer support and encouragement.

Teresa

@hopeful33250

Hello Dori @virtuous69

I am so sorry to hear of all of the difficult changes that you are going through right now. Health and finances are big concerns for everyone and when they come at the same time it can seem overwhelming. I hope that you are able to connect with some support groups in your area. Is there a NAMI group near you? They can be quite helpful for folks dealing with depression and anxiety.

Have you and your husband been able to talk about the stressors in your life? Communication is very important at times like these. Keep in touch, we are here to listen and offer support and encouragement.

Teresa

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Hi, Dori @virtuous69 .

I’m worried about you and your situation. The problem is that it’s 2:30a.m., and I haven’t been able to go to sleep. It’s very, very unusual for this to happen – I usually conk out within a few minutes. I just saw what Teresa and Kanaaz wrote, and I wonder if it was God who is keeping me awake,so I would meet you.

I’d really like to write, but my eyes are too blurry to read the screen on my tablet, so I’ll write after I get some sleep and can see what I’m writing. I’ll just end by saying that I’m a retired pastor, and I will pray for you as I (hopefully) go to sleep.

Until then, I pray for God’s Spirit to fill your heart and home with a sense of His peace and love.

Jim

Hello everyone sorry for my bad english but i want tell about my odd condition whenever i search for any symptoms or disease it feels like i have those symptoms or disease for example in july i was suffering from fatigue so i searched on Google for cause and i found out that parkinsons and multiple scelrosis are disorder which cause fatigue and there was another symptom for it and that was excessive saliva in mouth like drooling, you will not believe i read that in morning and in evening there was excessive saliva in mouth same condition that i read on the symptoms page and i suffered for almost one month and then it vanished without any medicine and now i checked for clicking jaw but there was no other problem like pain or any other thing but googling it show tmd disorder which cause pain also and after reading all symptoms i start checking my jaw for two days like opening jaw several times without any reason just to check pain and to listen the noise and after two day of foolish jaw checking i developed pain in jaw and when i asked my dentist friend for clicking jaw he said 60 percent people’s jaw clicks and its normal and now i dont know how come over anxiety of having tmd please help me

Long time on the same subject of money balancing. And same full time income to full time income and lay offs because company sold out to a bigger companies has been my life.But @ my current full time job just above min. wage still doesn’t help the everyday worries and predictions for our future money’s needed. But when working on the job I think I’m a teenager and spin circles around others for my job requirements. The younger supervisors can not see this need of this energy for they are worried about their job and directives. At my current full time job these are the supervisors that interview and fire. Remember years ago, when the human resource employee had to decide for company hire process. 61 and take Motrin when needed. Have a list of chores to get done around my house on days off. That I think I can do, and if like all my remembrance of years gone by. What gets done is sure a direction to checking off the list of what needs to be done. And the day was good. – I think, no matter our age. We are all in this together. It has been a long time trying to come back from the fall-out of 2006 -2010. I think of the help I got from filling out paperwork at Salvation Army Office, MI. Dept. of Humane Services and Step Forward America. — helped with utilities,small amount of food,back taxes and bringing mortgage current. — still behind a month or two but maybe need to do it all over again. A smile helps to go on and a prayer for better times. I think they’re are a lot of people just like us and you may not recognize them. Keep making your list and checking it off.

@fourtoesbroke112216

Long time on the same subject of money balancing. And same full time income to full time income and lay offs because company sold out to a bigger companies has been my life.But @ my current full time job just above min. wage still doesn’t help the everyday worries and predictions for our future money’s needed. But when working on the job I think I’m a teenager and spin circles around others for my job requirements. The younger supervisors can not see this need of this energy for they are worried about their job and directives. At my current full time job these are the supervisors that interview and fire. Remember years ago, when the human resource employee had to decide for company hire process. 61 and take Motrin when needed. Have a list of chores to get done around my house on days off. That I think I can do, and if like all my remembrance of years gone by. What gets done is sure a direction to checking off the list of what needs to be done. And the day was good. – I think, no matter our age. We are all in this together. It has been a long time trying to come back from the fall-out of 2006 -2010. I think of the help I got from filling out paperwork at Salvation Army Office, MI. Dept. of Humane Services and Step Forward America. — helped with utilities,small amount of food,back taxes and bringing mortgage current. — still behind a month or two but maybe need to do it all over again. A smile helps to go on and a prayer for better times. I think they’re are a lot of people just like us and you may not recognize them. Keep making your list and checking it off.

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Hi, @fourtoesbroke112216. I’m sorry for some of the hardship you’ve endured with layoffs, the financial crisis in our country and trying to balance things monetarily. It sounds as though you are a hard worker and very persistent amidst it all.

It does seem like you got some very useful help from the Salvation Army in the past and like perhaps that could be an option currently.

With some of these more stressful parts of life, what do you do to relax and let off steam?

@fourtoesbroke112216

Long time on the same subject of money balancing. And same full time income to full time income and lay offs because company sold out to a bigger companies has been my life.But @ my current full time job just above min. wage still doesn’t help the everyday worries and predictions for our future money’s needed. But when working on the job I think I’m a teenager and spin circles around others for my job requirements. The younger supervisors can not see this need of this energy for they are worried about their job and directives. At my current full time job these are the supervisors that interview and fire. Remember years ago, when the human resource employee had to decide for company hire process. 61 and take Motrin when needed. Have a list of chores to get done around my house on days off. That I think I can do, and if like all my remembrance of years gone by. What gets done is sure a direction to checking off the list of what needs to be done. And the day was good. – I think, no matter our age. We are all in this together. It has been a long time trying to come back from the fall-out of 2006 -2010. I think of the help I got from filling out paperwork at Salvation Army Office, MI. Dept. of Humane Services and Step Forward America. — helped with utilities,small amount of food,back taxes and bringing mortgage current. — still behind a month or two but maybe need to do it all over again. A smile helps to go on and a prayer for better times. I think they’re are a lot of people just like us and you may not recognize them. Keep making your list and checking it off.

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You are in the same boat with a lot of us. I purchased a condo. in 2005 after my father died and left me a substantial amount of money. I put the money with a “supposed” good Financial Planner. Well, to make a long story short, he was a crook …. he was double and triple billing his clients, skimming “extra” off the top and all sorts of things. My lovely inheritance dropped by $400,000. The SEC caught up with him, he’s on some sort of probation, can only sell insurance, and the SEC can come in anytime, unannounced, and go through his records, and he owes the Feds. a couple million dollars. (what about us? we get nothing!) That little “mini Bernie Madolff” scheme of his changed my retirement years permanently. So, take heart …. you’re not alone.
abby

@fourtoesbroke112216

Long time on the same subject of money balancing. And same full time income to full time income and lay offs because company sold out to a bigger companies has been my life.But @ my current full time job just above min. wage still doesn’t help the everyday worries and predictions for our future money’s needed. But when working on the job I think I’m a teenager and spin circles around others for my job requirements. The younger supervisors can not see this need of this energy for they are worried about their job and directives. At my current full time job these are the supervisors that interview and fire. Remember years ago, when the human resource employee had to decide for company hire process. 61 and take Motrin when needed. Have a list of chores to get done around my house on days off. That I think I can do, and if like all my remembrance of years gone by. What gets done is sure a direction to checking off the list of what needs to be done. And the day was good. – I think, no matter our age. We are all in this together. It has been a long time trying to come back from the fall-out of 2006 -2010. I think of the help I got from filling out paperwork at Salvation Army Office, MI. Dept. of Humane Services and Step Forward America. — helped with utilities,small amount of food,back taxes and bringing mortgage current. — still behind a month or two but maybe need to do it all over again. A smile helps to go on and a prayer for better times. I think they’re are a lot of people just like us and you may not recognize them. Keep making your list and checking it off.

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Abby, @amberpep

How unfortunate! Thanks for sharing your story.

Teresa

@fourtoesbroke112216

Long time on the same subject of money balancing. And same full time income to full time income and lay offs because company sold out to a bigger companies has been my life.But @ my current full time job just above min. wage still doesn’t help the everyday worries and predictions for our future money’s needed. But when working on the job I think I’m a teenager and spin circles around others for my job requirements. The younger supervisors can not see this need of this energy for they are worried about their job and directives. At my current full time job these are the supervisors that interview and fire. Remember years ago, when the human resource employee had to decide for company hire process. 61 and take Motrin when needed. Have a list of chores to get done around my house on days off. That I think I can do, and if like all my remembrance of years gone by. What gets done is sure a direction to checking off the list of what needs to be done. And the day was good. – I think, no matter our age. We are all in this together. It has been a long time trying to come back from the fall-out of 2006 -2010. I think of the help I got from filling out paperwork at Salvation Army Office, MI. Dept. of Humane Services and Step Forward America. — helped with utilities,small amount of food,back taxes and bringing mortgage current. — still behind a month or two but maybe need to do it all over again. A smile helps to go on and a prayer for better times. I think they’re are a lot of people just like us and you may not recognize them. Keep making your list and checking it off.

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Had an interview today for 3 dollars more an hour with about the same amount of just @ under 40 per week. No benefits, but extra income would help and would seek my on personnel options. That is important to my family. — For guistion given, role some cigs. have a sip of beer and set out on chores that need to be done for my wife and adult son. I have the daughters room since she now has her own home with our grandson. My 31 year old son has been seeing professionals for his condition and, I no too stay out of his doings. He did work @ my Walmart store for over a year, till he couldn’t understand the ethics of management in January 2017, and quite, His knowledge and understanding of the job did not help him get a promotion. Several Asst. Managers have read his several page document on how to improve the work on the shift he was on. They have told me how great it is . The rutiene is stagnant for advancement. I have only one Asst. Manager that sees my capabilities and requests my help when needed. My son has attributed a lot to household, WiFi, internet hook up for my wife and me,etc. but still can’t finish a project on my house. it was his idea to sound prof basement and his bedroom, but after 6 mouths, I will have to finish — So many more life stories to vent but work in the morning and got to have some rest. If offered the new job. I would have to seek out a savings plan and life ins.plan. I would have no more parole deductions. Sure could handle a 50 hr. work week but not a 70+ hr. week. I should have a $40,000.00 + annual income by now that would compare to all my priviase full time jobs. Lost in balenciing the budgit. Small car, and credit card payments but others as Property tax, House Ins, Car Ins., and refinanced mortgage is weighing us down. —- Telling my life story to others helps let off steam. — Smart person and always learning.

@fourtoesbroke112216

Long time on the same subject of money balancing. And same full time income to full time income and lay offs because company sold out to a bigger companies has been my life.But @ my current full time job just above min. wage still doesn’t help the everyday worries and predictions for our future money’s needed. But when working on the job I think I’m a teenager and spin circles around others for my job requirements. The younger supervisors can not see this need of this energy for they are worried about their job and directives. At my current full time job these are the supervisors that interview and fire. Remember years ago, when the human resource employee had to decide for company hire process. 61 and take Motrin when needed. Have a list of chores to get done around my house on days off. That I think I can do, and if like all my remembrance of years gone by. What gets done is sure a direction to checking off the list of what needs to be done. And the day was good. – I think, no matter our age. We are all in this together. It has been a long time trying to come back from the fall-out of 2006 -2010. I think of the help I got from filling out paperwork at Salvation Army Office, MI. Dept. of Humane Services and Step Forward America. — helped with utilities,small amount of food,back taxes and bringing mortgage current. — still behind a month or two but maybe need to do it all over again. A smile helps to go on and a prayer for better times. I think they’re are a lot of people just like us and you may not recognize them. Keep making your list and checking it off.

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@fourtoesbroke112216 — hope you get the position!

@fourtoesbroke112216

Long time on the same subject of money balancing. And same full time income to full time income and lay offs because company sold out to a bigger companies has been my life.But @ my current full time job just above min. wage still doesn’t help the everyday worries and predictions for our future money’s needed. But when working on the job I think I’m a teenager and spin circles around others for my job requirements. The younger supervisors can not see this need of this energy for they are worried about their job and directives. At my current full time job these are the supervisors that interview and fire. Remember years ago, when the human resource employee had to decide for company hire process. 61 and take Motrin when needed. Have a list of chores to get done around my house on days off. That I think I can do, and if like all my remembrance of years gone by. What gets done is sure a direction to checking off the list of what needs to be done. And the day was good. – I think, no matter our age. We are all in this together. It has been a long time trying to come back from the fall-out of 2006 -2010. I think of the help I got from filling out paperwork at Salvation Army Office, MI. Dept. of Humane Services and Step Forward America. — helped with utilities,small amount of food,back taxes and bringing mortgage current. — still behind a month or two but maybe need to do it all over again. A smile helps to go on and a prayer for better times. I think they’re are a lot of people just like us and you may not recognize them. Keep making your list and checking it off.

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@amberpep — so sorry to hear this happened to you. Awful.

Is there anything in particular you’ve done — either financially speaking or emotionally — that’s helped you recover from this unfortunate setback?

@fourtoesbroke112216

Long time on the same subject of money balancing. And same full time income to full time income and lay offs because company sold out to a bigger companies has been my life.But @ my current full time job just above min. wage still doesn’t help the everyday worries and predictions for our future money’s needed. But when working on the job I think I’m a teenager and spin circles around others for my job requirements. The younger supervisors can not see this need of this energy for they are worried about their job and directives. At my current full time job these are the supervisors that interview and fire. Remember years ago, when the human resource employee had to decide for company hire process. 61 and take Motrin when needed. Have a list of chores to get done around my house on days off. That I think I can do, and if like all my remembrance of years gone by. What gets done is sure a direction to checking off the list of what needs to be done. And the day was good. – I think, no matter our age. We are all in this together. It has been a long time trying to come back from the fall-out of 2006 -2010. I think of the help I got from filling out paperwork at Salvation Army Office, MI. Dept. of Humane Services and Step Forward America. — helped with utilities,small amount of food,back taxes and bringing mortgage current. — still behind a month or two but maybe need to do it all over again. A smile helps to go on and a prayer for better times. I think they’re are a lot of people just like us and you may not recognize them. Keep making your list and checking it off.

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@amberpep OMG, will goodness ever triumph over evil. Angry to hear such a horrible situation, and hoping you got to a place of peace and security.

@fourtoesbroke112216

Long time on the same subject of money balancing. And same full time income to full time income and lay offs because company sold out to a bigger companies has been my life.But @ my current full time job just above min. wage still doesn’t help the everyday worries and predictions for our future money’s needed. But when working on the job I think I’m a teenager and spin circles around others for my job requirements. The younger supervisors can not see this need of this energy for they are worried about their job and directives. At my current full time job these are the supervisors that interview and fire. Remember years ago, when the human resource employee had to decide for company hire process. 61 and take Motrin when needed. Have a list of chores to get done around my house on days off. That I think I can do, and if like all my remembrance of years gone by. What gets done is sure a direction to checking off the list of what needs to be done. And the day was good. – I think, no matter our age. We are all in this together. It has been a long time trying to come back from the fall-out of 2006 -2010. I think of the help I got from filling out paperwork at Salvation Army Office, MI. Dept. of Humane Services and Step Forward America. — helped with utilities,small amount of food,back taxes and bringing mortgage current. — still behind a month or two but maybe need to do it all over again. A smile helps to go on and a prayer for better times. I think they’re are a lot of people just like us and you may not recognize them. Keep making your list and checking it off.

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Just a thought here …. maybe you could get some guidance from the Consumers Counseling Services …. a government org. which could help guide you in budgeting, paying bills on time, and putting a little aside in savings. Just a thought …..
Abby

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