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Need Help -Living with depressed loved ones

Posted by @yea in Just Want to Talk, Nov 22, 2011

I need some coping help!
Husband bipolar and not stable, several combinations of meds have not worked over the past two years and he's very low with some occasional 'normal' periods. Lots of side effects from the drugs too.
Teen son down all the time, not diagnosed. Doesn't go to school, misses at least 2-3 days per week, sees no point in it. Not sure if he is down or the environment at home pushes him down. Two other children and I are struggling with the high needs of the two. We are sinking. Over the last 26 years we tried many different counselors, life coaches, psychiatrists, naturopaths, homeopaths, natural dentistry, and other alternate medicine. Husband is the only breadwinner and that is being threatened now because of the low moods. Medical promises of help have all turned out empty. We are now broke and no place to turn. Several other family issues compound this situation and insomnia affects us all due to the stress level. I feel I want to run away screaming or I will go crazy, I'm exhausted and don't know how to keep going, but if I don't then what will happen to the rest of he family. Can anyone who has dealt with depressed and unstable partners and children offer me any advise?

Tags: depression


Posted by @deliasanderson, Nov 26, 2011

take a half hr a day to do yoga, breathing exercises


Posted by @icarealot, Jan 23, 2012

my 22 year old is bipolar and has tried many different medications over the past two years. It is lithium which has helped him the most. If you would get yourself and your family on state medical help that would accomplish your anxiety with the money issues. Your husband may qualify for federal disability funds if he looses his job and doesnt improve. Your son can not not keep missing school. My son who is now 14 has fought up and down with me about school attendance since he was in second grade. The "seeing no point in it" is a-typical for these kids. It shows his depression. He needs mini-goals to set and achieve. Even if they are just mini ones even once a week changes matter. Over time these improvements will make him feel better about himself and he will like the changes that are positively going to result from it. He needs professional guidance in career goals and plainly and simply just things he needs to learn about how and why he likes himself. This new love of him self will spread to others and he will abound with more love and kindness to himself and to his family. He needs a good friend or even just one friend to be with. If you could change the disposition of just one of your family members its like a chain reaction and the entire family shares in the new changes. Its alarmingly wonderful like a star that shines brighter everyday, DO NOT GIVE UP> So many parents do DO NOT GIVE Up keep going whatever you need to do start jogging everyday rain or snow keep your own spirits up. You are the ROCK you have to be the ROCK too bad if you dont feel like it DO IT ANYWAY JUST DO IT FORCE yourself. Your CONSISTENT postive attitude WILL eventually rub off on the family. When your ready to scream run outside go for a drive run to a bookstore or library whatever it takes for you to be YOU again DO IT. After you feel refreshed come back with a lighter spirit and a much more fortified courage about your renewed sense of self. GET your son on a IEPA at school they will help you in the public school for free to determine your sons needs. READ educate yourself about other parents who suffer also with kids like yours. SEE what they do MIMIc the good IT HELPS A LOT! GOd bless you!! YOU can do this!!

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Posted by @bipolarhelp, Feb 8, 2012

I have a daughter 13 who is Bipolar with Psycosis hospitalized twice it has been a year and a half since diagnosis. We have gone through having to be prisoners in our own home as she was so impulsive. We had to lock away every sharp object, belts, medication, ropes, anything she could hurt her self with. I even had to use the child proof lock on the car because she had tried to jump out once ( of course I admited her to the hospital after that attempt). We had to install locks on the home that lock from the inside with a key. It was that way for over 9 months when she finally improved. Only to now fall back again and we are starting to take more precautions again, not nearly as bad as before just being cautious. All we are trying to do is lift this dang depression without setting her off into a yo-yo effect. As the yo-yo brings on major psycosis. That is proving very difficult to accomplish. You are so right they have those moments of wow total normal but very fleeting moments.

My daughter strugles with school too. But I make her go. I am able to tell her, as I am a single mom, I have to work to keep the home and you have to go to school because it is not safe for you to be home by yourself. The school had tried to get rid of her several times last year. We are now strugling with her not being able to focus hardly at all. She use to be so briliant before all this.

It is exahusting to say the least. Yes if you keep happy and up beat it helps, does not make it go away but helps. Keep them going and distracted. However i have a job and I am a single mom. I have another child who needs me as well. I have to take care of myself. As soon as i start to do these things she seems to back slide. I take her to therapy once a week. And for a while she had it twice a week while on suiside percautions. I need a support group as well.

Hang in there I can't belive you have been dealing with it for so long. GOD Bless you!!!! As I am relativly new to this in comparison.

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