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soul
@soul

Posts: 41
Joined: Jan 21, 2016

My Mom does not want to go for any surgery

Posted by @soul, Jan 21, 2016

My Mom does not want to go for any surgery since she feel that she is very old 78 years now and she is not strong enough to go for the follow up chemotherapy process. Is there any options for my Mom. I would appreciate receiving advice from Mayo clinic.

REPLY

Welcome to Connect @soul.
I’m sorry to hear about your Mom. There are many factors to consider when making treatment choices like stage of the cancer, overall health and, of course, patient preferences. It seems that your Mom is thinking about her quality of life. It’s natural to want to do everything medically possible for her. Your cancer care team can help talk with your family about these values and the treatment options.

Is your Mom at Mayo Clinic? If not, you can request an appointment here http://www.mayoclinic.org/appointments

I’m tagging @smness Sheryl M. Ness in this message too. Sheryl is a patient educator at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester. She and her team in the Cancer Education Center help inform and educate patients, families and caregivers about services and resources to help them through the cancer journey.

Do you live close to your Mom and do you have other family members with you too?

Colleen
Connect Community Director

Dear Colleen, thank you so much for your response and also for introducing to Sheryl M Ness, Cancer Care team. My Mom lives in Thailand. I live in the States. I went to visit my Mom during the holidays and took her to Colonoscopy. I was witnesses what happened there with my Mom. I would like to find out is there any hospital and a good doctor in Thailand associated with Mayo clinic here in U. S. I believed Mayo is the best and the most advanced technology in treating cancer patients in United States. They might have international association over the world and Asia particularly in Thailand. My Mom will not be able to come since it is far and now she is at home surrounded by family. But she needs the good doctor to talk for the treatment. I would appreciate if Sheryl can help me find out any Mayo clinic connection Thailand. Looking forward to receiving the name of the Doctor and hospital. It is nice to meet you, Sheryl through Colleen. I appreciate the opportunity to meet you on line and hope to seek an advice from Mayo clinic. Thank you kindly.

Hi @soul, here is the link to Mayo Clinic’s International Services department http://www.mayoclinic.org/departments-centers/international/appointments. They can help answer your questions about care for international patients.

Long distance caregiving is tough. Do you have siblings living closer to your Mom?

Thank you Colleen. It is appreciated. I will check the link and see. I would also like to consult with the related Doctor from Mayo clinic. I have all the reports of my Mom and would like to go for consultation with fee. Will you be able to assist. Or can Sheryl help me to connect with the related Doctor from Mayo clinic. I would like to go from there. Will it be possible? Please let me know. My cousins and relatives are tKing care of my Mom in Thailand now. Thank you.

I am unable to connect you directly with a physician. However the International Services department should be able to help. Or click the request appointment button in the top right corner for an online form.

Dear Colleen, I have noted and thank you for your kind assistance.

Dear Colleen,
It has been awhile. Hope all is well with you. My mother has accepted the surgery and she is now post operation period at the hospital. Will you be able to advise on colostomy or connect with the group who has experienced and is aware of colostomy care. Many thanks in advance.

Hi @soul – I’m Alyse, and I’m another community moderator here. How did the surgery go? How is your mom feeling today?

I did some research on colostomy care, which can be found here: http://www.mayoclinic.org/ostomy/art-20045825?pg=1. This link provides tips and advice for adapting to life following a colostomy procedure. Also, it’s important to speak with your mom’s doctor and continue to ask any, and all, questions. I’m looking for other members to connect you with who have gone through similar procedures and experiences.

@alysebrunella

Hi @soul – I’m Alyse, and I’m another community moderator here. How did the surgery go? How is your mom feeling today?

I did some research on colostomy care, which can be found here: http://www.mayoclinic.org/ostomy/art-20045825?pg=1. This link provides tips and advice for adapting to life following a colostomy procedure. Also, it’s important to speak with your mom’s doctor and continue to ask any, and all, questions. I’m looking for other members to connect you with who have gone through similar procedures and experiences.

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Hello Alyse,

Thank you for your email. My Mom just finished her closure 2 days ago and she is still in pain. The first operation was a success. I think the recovery is a bit slow due to her age.

I would be grateful if you can please connect to the related colostomy care who has experienced and gone through the same. Thank you very much.

Kind regards.
Soul

@alysebrunella

Hi @soul – I’m Alyse, and I’m another community moderator here. How did the surgery go? How is your mom feeling today?

I did some research on colostomy care, which can be found here: http://www.mayoclinic.org/ostomy/art-20045825?pg=1. This link provides tips and advice for adapting to life following a colostomy procedure. Also, it’s important to speak with your mom’s doctor and continue to ask any, and all, questions. I’m looking for other members to connect you with who have gone through similar procedures and experiences.

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Hi my name is Kathi. My mom had a colostomy anthem reversal and ended up having an ileostomy after that. If you have and questions, if I can I’d be happy to help. I am her major caretaker, but she does live alone and has learned to care for it herself mostly.

Kathi Snyder

Hello Kathi,

My Mom has a colostomy. The very bottom of her rectum was diseased. So that the doctor had opened surgery and kept it for 10 days with stoma. The closure of the stoma was made after 10 days of the operation. She has overcome with the pain from the operation. What is the best way to live from now on since she is now 78 years old and both of her legs are not too good. She has to use walker.

@soul

Hello Kathi,

My Mom has a colostomy. The very bottom of her rectum was diseased. So that the doctor had opened surgery and kept it for 10 days with stoma. The closure of the stoma was made after 10 days of the operation. She has overcome with the pain from the operation. What is the best way to live from now on since she is now 78 years old and both of her legs are not too good. She has to use walker.

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Hi,
It is very hard on them at this older age, my mom will be 81 next month. She ended up with an ileostomy, and dehydrates very easily because she looses everything in liquid form so her body does not retain any for itself. She has been able to live pretty normally with help from me. Your mom should get one of those motorized scooters to get around. Her house would need some ramps if there are steps. It can be put in the car and taken places to make it easier to get out to the store or hairdresser, etc. instead of a regular walker there is a fancier type called rolls tots that also have a seat and basket. Some even called rolls toe transporters change to wheelchairs if she would get very tired and you or someone can then push her around in it. Is she able to change her bag on her own? Do you have any other specific questions imight be able to answer. My mom has had this for, I think at least 5 years now and I am her main caretaker so any questions I don’t mind trying to help.
Kathi

@soul

Hello Kathi,

My Mom has a colostomy. The very bottom of her rectum was diseased. So that the doctor had opened surgery and kept it for 10 days with stoma. The closure of the stoma was made after 10 days of the operation. She has overcome with the pain from the operation. What is the best way to live from now on since she is now 78 years old and both of her legs are not too good. She has to use walker.

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Dear Kathi,

Thank you so much for your advice. It is very helpful and encouraging. You are a great daughter to your Mom. I will tell my Mom but she is not sure whether she needs motorized scooter. One of my cousin stays closed to my Mom and takes care of her with her daily activities. I live far from my Mom but I am now with her taking care of her and assisting her during operations. My Mom will be released from the hospital soon. So that I would like to arrange and plan her daily activity. My Mom likes to pray and meditation during the day. She enjoys meditation.

I just concern about the food my mother is having. Her stomach generated a lot of gas and she has been in pain because of the gas. I am not sure whether your Mom has the same issue with the gas.

Does your Mom still have attached bag to drain all the body waste out? My Mom has a stoma with the bag only for 10 days. How about bowel movement and any constipation? Any medication she is on?

Your response and advice is appreciated.

Kind regards,
Soul

If she has other significant health issues she may not be ready to endure surgery.

There are 78 yr old ppl who are vigorous and healthy, others are very physically impaired by illnesses by 78. My MIL passed away at 70, but she was an “old” 70. If you met her you’d have thought she was 80+ and going downhill quickly. Yet my parents are healthy at 88 & 81 playing golf, etc. If either of my parents became ill and chose not to pursue care it would be difficult, but I’d understand (my brother would struggle with that though).

@spineaz

If she has other significant health issues she may not be ready to endure surgery.

There are 78 yr old ppl who are vigorous and healthy, others are very physically impaired by illnesses by 78. My MIL passed away at 70, but she was an “old” 70. If you met her you’d have thought she was 80+ and going downhill quickly. Yet my parents are healthy at 88 & 81 playing golf, etc. If either of my parents became ill and chose not to pursue care it would be difficult, but I’d understand (my brother would struggle with that though).

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Thank you very much for the advice. Actually my Mother did the surgery a month ago. Fortunately, everything went well. She is strong enough to live with colostomy for the rest of her life. I would welcome Mayo clinic ‘s advice for my Mother. She is now having liquid and soft food type only. Thank you.

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