~ My kids ~
I've got 3 adult kids, 46, 44, and 34 … I moved to VA from MD about 4 years ago to be closer to them. I did not want to move, and it's been hard getting adjusted … very hard. I was in Frederick, MD for 30 years. Well, some of you may remember I have Bipolar 2 …. my therapist thinks my mother was probably Bipolar 1 and medicated herself with alcohol …. she died at 60 from cirrhosis. My kids know I see a therapist, now only once a month since he's in MD, and a Psychiatrist down here for medication. I'm pretty good with the medication, but my kids need to know more about this than they do. Since there may be a genetic component to it, I think they should know. I see traces of it in one of my girls … some up and down … not much, but I know it's there …. she just won't say anything. If I ask her if she's OK, she'll just say, "yea, just one of those days." With all of them, if I even try to come close to talking to them about this, somehow, I feel blown off ….. "OK Mom …. I know." It feels like they're saying "shut up." Maybe they do, but I don't know that. I just want to have an honest, adult to adult conversation with them about this … not to have them "pity" me, but so they know what's going on if they notice anything about themselves that's a bit "off."
Am I wanting too much? Should I just stay quiet about it? Maybe they do know more about it than I think they do – by reading, but I don't know that either. I just feel it's something they should know about this, and also my past growing up. Seems anything that isn't "up, up, up" can't be touched. So for now I've just let it sit, but it's hard somedays when I don't want to sound "chipper". Any input you all may have would be appreciated.