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arenz101
@arenz101

Posts: 1
Joined: Nov 02, 2016

my 5 yr old masturbates non stop is becoming a huge problem.

Posted by @arenz101, Nov 1, 2016

She started when she was 2 yrs old. she masturbated in her car seat and in grocery carts . We did not think much of this at the time because her d.r had told us this is normal behavior. We just did our very best to let her know its not appropriate and whats not . like doing these types of things in private. over the last two years she has started doing it more and more in the bath in her bed on the couch anything she can sit on and stimulate herself .she has also started to want sexual attention from other children i have caught her trying to involve other children in this with her as well . She kissed my 2 yr old daughters privates in the bath tub. she recently started masturbating at school. her teacher was very concerned. every one i have talked to says this is normal behavior. her therapist her pediatrician they all say the same this is normal . she can do it because she is bored ,sad,tired, just having any kind of feeling apparently . she is very interested in who is able to touch her body parts and who is not . we remind her all the time only mommys and daddys and only to help you wipe ,wash,or if your privates are sick. Other then that there is no reason anyone should be touching you there. she is very curious about who she can kiss. who she can hug and who she can kiss on the mouth. she knows this behavior is completely inappropriate who have expressed this to her for years . i tell her only in private and when she is done she needs to wash her hands . SHE DOES NOT CARE!!!!!! she does this every single day . is like she cants stop. she also displays other types of behavior she seem to lack empathy . she is very selfish. and seems to lack common sense . i mean every day is a constant struggle with her . we have way more bad days then good. she also can be very mean to other children including her siblings . she feels the whole world needs to revolve around her. if she does not get her way she becomes very mean she actually stabbed her brother with a pair of nail clippers because she was mad. she just seems to never be satisfied no matter how hard we try to make her happy we cant …when she was three she got naked and crawled into my 7 yr old sons bed he woke up to her rubbing his belly and came and woke up mom and dad . we went into the room and seen her laying the naked when we asked her what she was doing she said i want to cuddle . my son does not think very highly of his sister . he started pushing her away when she was three . and has not let her back in since due to her behavior . if she is not being mean she is being sexual and if shes not doing either one of those she just wants to eat and eat and eat and she refuses to eat anything but sweets its a battle every day to get her to eat meals . its like she cant sit at the table long enough to eat a meal she wants quick and easy. if her food is to hard to eat she wont . she wont over do her self with anything that is if its not easy or fun its not happening . i forgot to mention she is my step daughter . i have had her since she was 5 months old ive always noticed there was something a little off about her like her eyes would shake very quickly back and forth sometimes when she was about one yrs old i noticed her left eye was turning in . i took her to 4 eye drs . they all said something opposite one said it was something neurological one said lazy eye some say she just needs glasses . i have noticed her extra hyper behavior and she just can not pay attention. like i can tell her something over and over and over and i ask her to repeat it and she can not. but what gets me she is in kindergarten and she does great she is smart when it comes to learning i just do not understand why her behavior at home is so horrible. she seems to be able to make friends but has a hard time keeping them she is always fighting with them . my main concern is she has a mental disorder like adhd . or a form of autism . i also worry about sexual abuse at her birth mothers when she goes for visitation . i know something is not right here i just cant put my finger on what is wrong with her she seems to have so may problems i cant get on top of them its one thing after another , any advice would be so helpful . i dont want this behavior to affect her from having a normal healthy childhood . i try everything to keep her busy local youth group ,dance class, sports , after school programs, girl scouts anything our community has to offer to try to keep her mind off of bad behavior and to be around other kids her age to see how they act . i know in my heart the masturbation is not normal the way she does it. something is wrong . i just am not even sure how to go about this i feel like we try everything discipline positive reinforcement extra attention love being consistent with the rules and what we expect from our children . im at a loss

Liked by annmerc

REPLY

I am sorry to say this, but it sounds like your daughter has been a victim of sexual and physical abuse. Children this young do not know to “kiss” privates, etc. I am an incest survivor. While reading this, my red flag was going up big time! My father molested me and my three sisters. No one knew – not even my mom, until years later. I have been through years of therapy as an adult. This child needs to see a child psychiatrist who specializes in child molestation – the sooner the better! Did her birth mother do drugs while pregnant? I have an adopted daughter who had many of the same symptoms when she was young. Her birth mother did multiple drugs before, during and after pregnancy. The birth mother’s parental rights were removed. I took my adopted daughter to the Easter Seal Society for testing when she was five and found she had ADD, poor impulse control, and a learning disability that made it hard for her to learn new concepts. I got tons of great advice and suggestions from them. Your daughter needs serious hep. Please check for local assistance in your area for survivors of child abuse and get to that child psychiatrist! You and your family are in my prayers!

Welcome @arenz101. I’m glad that you have connected with @blindeyepug, who was able to offer some great steps to take based on her experience. You mentioned that you saw pediatrician. Has your daughter been seen by a child psychiatrist?

I am really sorry to hear about your struggle. I am not a medical expert but I have had some personal experiences that made me wonder if many of your daughters’ problems were food related. Starting this year, I switched to a gluten free and dairy free diet because I discovered foods containing gluten and dairy make me sick, including messing up with my brain and making it hard for me to stay calm and focused. I saw similar effects on my daughters. You should do your own research (a friend told me about the Grain Brain book). A good way to find out is to remove gluten and dairy from her diet for 2-4 weeks and see if the issues improve. If it is too hard to remove both, maybe start with gluten. Best luck!

@blindeyepug

I am sorry to say this, but it sounds like your daughter has been a victim of sexual and physical abuse. Children this young do not know to “kiss” privates, etc. I am an incest survivor. While reading this, my red flag was going up big time! My father molested me and my three sisters. No one knew – not even my mom, until years later. I have been through years of therapy as an adult. This child needs to see a child psychiatrist who specializes in child molestation – the sooner the better! Did her birth mother do drugs while pregnant? I have an adopted daughter who had many of the same symptoms when she was young. Her birth mother did multiple drugs before, during and after pregnancy. The birth mother’s parental rights were removed. I took my adopted daughter to the Easter Seal Society for testing when she was five and found she had ADD, poor impulse control, and a learning disability that made it hard for her to learn new concepts. I got tons of great advice and suggestions from them. Your daughter needs serious hep. Please check for local assistance in your area for survivors of child abuse and get to that child psychiatrist! You and your family are in my prayers!

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You are jumping the gun hear without real hard core testing being done. This can cause more harm than good

Liked by christym

arenz101 I am sorry for all the difficulties that you are having with your 5 year old child. I have been a social worker for over 30 years specializing in child counseling. Before you jump the gun and call it abuse you need to have your child checked out by a neurologist and pediatric doctor to see if there is any physical reason for her behavior. In developmental stages of a child much of what your child is doing is normal. Without thorough testing it is hard to predict. Also go to a child psychologist who can give tests to determine a cause for her behavior. It is important to go through these stages of testing so not to mistreat your child and cause more harm than good. I recommend going to your areas pediatric hospital where they can do all the proper testing to get the best treatment for your child.

I totally agree that more testing be done – absolutely! By a licensed physiologist. Though masturbating is part of normal child development, excessive masturbation is not – neither is “kissing down there”. Do NOT let your daughter do this to your other daughter again. There are BIG signs that this child has been sexually abused. I do not believe I am jumping the gun at all. No one wants to believe or talk about their child possibly being abused. Do not blow it off and deem it is NOT abuse. See the professionals – they will be able to help you and your daughter. Too many times this type of thing gets brushed under the rug. The signs are there. PLEASE get your daughter to a licensed psychologist. I do not like to divulge too much about myself on these sites, but let’s just say not only am I a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, my work is in the field of law. I have seen these type of cases again and again. Please keep us updated on how you and your daughter are doing. You are both in my prayers.

I meant “psychologist” above. Sorry.

@blindeyepug

I totally agree that more testing be done – absolutely! By a licensed physiologist. Though masturbating is part of normal child development, excessive masturbation is not – neither is “kissing down there”. Do NOT let your daughter do this to your other daughter again. There are BIG signs that this child has been sexually abused. I do not believe I am jumping the gun at all. No one wants to believe or talk about their child possibly being abused. Do not blow it off and deem it is NOT abuse. See the professionals – they will be able to help you and your daughter. Too many times this type of thing gets brushed under the rug. The signs are there. PLEASE get your daughter to a licensed psychologist. I do not like to divulge too much about myself on these sites, but let’s just say not only am I a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, my work is in the field of law. I have seen these type of cases again and again. Please keep us updated on how you and your daughter are doing. You are both in my prayers.

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blindeyepug there are signs if you want to see them but there are other signs in this behavior of a child of 5 years that does not lead to abuse that is why I am suggesting a counselor see her to rule out abuse. A child that age maybe acting out what she may have seen either at home or TV or some where else, A child that age sees thing and acts them out thinking it is normal. If there is abuse a experienced therapist could see this as well as a doctor will see other tell tail signs. That why before jumping the gun and taking that child to a place that will have many hard ships whether it is true or not. That is why she needs to go to a doctor to rule physical abuse first

@blindeyepug

I totally agree that more testing be done – absolutely! By a licensed physiologist. Though masturbating is part of normal child development, excessive masturbation is not – neither is “kissing down there”. Do NOT let your daughter do this to your other daughter again. There are BIG signs that this child has been sexually abused. I do not believe I am jumping the gun at all. No one wants to believe or talk about their child possibly being abused. Do not blow it off and deem it is NOT abuse. See the professionals – they will be able to help you and your daughter. Too many times this type of thing gets brushed under the rug. The signs are there. PLEASE get your daughter to a licensed psychologist. I do not like to divulge too much about myself on these sites, but let’s just say not only am I a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, my work is in the field of law. I have seen these type of cases again and again. Please keep us updated on how you and your daughter are doing. You are both in my prayers.

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We agree in a most peculiar way, safteyshield. I totally agree the child needs to be seen by a professional. A good pediatrician or child psychologist will definitely be able to work things out without exposing the child to “suggestion” or leading her down a bad path. Some unscrupulous practitioners in the past felt they could get children and adults to “recover” abuse memories or lead them in that direction. It isn’t a memory you have to “recover” – trust me. Such practices are no longer the norm. I just know many parents don’t want to go down that road or believe their child could have been abused by a friend or family member. I would never want anyone to just jump to the conclusion that abuse is what happened, but I also don’t want them to outright decide it isn’t a possibility.

@blindeyepug

I totally agree that more testing be done – absolutely! By a licensed physiologist. Though masturbating is part of normal child development, excessive masturbation is not – neither is “kissing down there”. Do NOT let your daughter do this to your other daughter again. There are BIG signs that this child has been sexually abused. I do not believe I am jumping the gun at all. No one wants to believe or talk about their child possibly being abused. Do not blow it off and deem it is NOT abuse. See the professionals – they will be able to help you and your daughter. Too many times this type of thing gets brushed under the rug. The signs are there. PLEASE get your daughter to a licensed psychologist. I do not like to divulge too much about myself on these sites, but let’s just say not only am I a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, my work is in the field of law. I have seen these type of cases again and again. Please keep us updated on how you and your daughter are doing. You are both in my prayers.

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The choice of whether it is abuse or not and what to do is up to one ruling out other possibilities. My years of counseling children tells me that because of her age her sexual behavior is more learned by either seeing it from other sourses and not because she was abused. I haven’t seen her or talked to her or her family. Nor have I seen any reports from the doctors. So it is premature to yell out abuse. I do realize your history my make hyper sensitive to sexual behavior. But you need to let procedures take its coerce.

@blindeyepug

I totally agree that more testing be done – absolutely! By a licensed physiologist. Though masturbating is part of normal child development, excessive masturbation is not – neither is “kissing down there”. Do NOT let your daughter do this to your other daughter again. There are BIG signs that this child has been sexually abused. I do not believe I am jumping the gun at all. No one wants to believe or talk about their child possibly being abused. Do not blow it off and deem it is NOT abuse. See the professionals – they will be able to help you and your daughter. Too many times this type of thing gets brushed under the rug. The signs are there. PLEASE get your daughter to a licensed psychologist. I do not like to divulge too much about myself on these sites, but let’s just say not only am I a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, my work is in the field of law. I have seen these type of cases again and again. Please keep us updated on how you and your daughter are doing. You are both in my prayers.

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I have worked in law for 36 years and have come across many cases of sexual abuse. Again, I agreed with you that the child needs to be seen by a professional. However, the possibility of abuse should not be swept under the rug. You of all people, with your vast experience, should know that many of the things the mother wrote may very well be attributed to sexual abuse! Much more likely than her seeing it done to someone else or having been exposed to porn on t.v. At her age, it is NOT normal to kiss someone “down there”. I can only speak of MY vast experience along with my personal experience. Sexual abuse should only be ruled out by a licensed PROFESSIONAL. Down playing it or ignoring the possibility is – in my opinion – irresponsible. We BOTH need to stop confusing this poor woman. She needs to take her daughter to a licensed child psychologist (not some social worker) and a qualified pediatrician.

@blindeyepug

I totally agree that more testing be done – absolutely! By a licensed physiologist. Though masturbating is part of normal child development, excessive masturbation is not – neither is “kissing down there”. Do NOT let your daughter do this to your other daughter again. There are BIG signs that this child has been sexually abused. I do not believe I am jumping the gun at all. No one wants to believe or talk about their child possibly being abused. Do not blow it off and deem it is NOT abuse. See the professionals – they will be able to help you and your daughter. Too many times this type of thing gets brushed under the rug. The signs are there. PLEASE get your daughter to a licensed psychologist. I do not like to divulge too much about myself on these sites, but let’s just say not only am I a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, my work is in the field of law. I have seen these type of cases again and again. Please keep us updated on how you and your daughter are doing. You are both in my prayers.

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blindeyepug I at no time stated that is was not abuse I have always stated that it is not the only possibility. I was the only one that said for the child to be seen by professionals before yelling abuse like you have done consistently. It is not me who is narrowing the possibilities its you. Your years in law does not give you the authority to yell out abuse without proper documentation. You yourself the words “may well be” but you can not say it definitively. But you have. I also have never downed played the possibility of abuse just offering the need to look at all possibilities. You again consistently state its sexual abuse. At the end what I always and consistently stated that she needs to get medical testing and a therapist that can determine the route of her childs behavior. I also recent your personal attack on social workers. We are qualified just as much as any therapist. You have taken this whole topic and personalized it and made it personally because I do not believe in crying abuse without proper information. You also sound like you feel threatened that someone is disagreeing with your method. The purpose of this communication group is to share our experiences no matter the differences with others and to provide information that would help those that ask and make us better persons.

@blindeyepug

I totally agree that more testing be done – absolutely! By a licensed physiologist. Though masturbating is part of normal child development, excessive masturbation is not – neither is “kissing down there”. Do NOT let your daughter do this to your other daughter again. There are BIG signs that this child has been sexually abused. I do not believe I am jumping the gun at all. No one wants to believe or talk about their child possibly being abused. Do not blow it off and deem it is NOT abuse. See the professionals – they will be able to help you and your daughter. Too many times this type of thing gets brushed under the rug. The signs are there. PLEASE get your daughter to a licensed psychologist. I do not like to divulge too much about myself on these sites, but let’s just say not only am I a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, my work is in the field of law. I have seen these type of cases again and again. Please keep us updated on how you and your daughter are doing. You are both in my prayers.

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If you’d bother to actually read my remarks, I stated in my FIRST reply that the child needed to be seen by a professional child psychologist. I ONLY STATED THERE WERE A LOT OF RED FLAGS indicating her child MAY have been abused. I am sorry if you were offended by my comment on social workers. Yet it remains a fact that a social worker is NOT a doctor – just as a nurse is not a doctor or a paralegal is not an attorney. The child needs to be seen by a DOCTOR. I have stated that over and over again.

@blindeyepug

I totally agree that more testing be done – absolutely! By a licensed physiologist. Though masturbating is part of normal child development, excessive masturbation is not – neither is “kissing down there”. Do NOT let your daughter do this to your other daughter again. There are BIG signs that this child has been sexually abused. I do not believe I am jumping the gun at all. No one wants to believe or talk about their child possibly being abused. Do not blow it off and deem it is NOT abuse. See the professionals – they will be able to help you and your daughter. Too many times this type of thing gets brushed under the rug. The signs are there. PLEASE get your daughter to a licensed psychologist. I do not like to divulge too much about myself on these sites, but let’s just say not only am I a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, my work is in the field of law. I have seen these type of cases again and again. Please keep us updated on how you and your daughter are doing. You are both in my prayers.

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Hi @blindeyepug and @safetyshield. I’m sorry to see that this conversation has taken on a confrontational tone. However, I think that you actually agree. A physician should be consulted.

@safetyshield, it is my opinion that @blindeyepug has offered her thoughts and experience as a possibility for Arenz to monitor and to bring to a professional. She presented her thoughts graciously and objectively, despite and possibly because of her personal story. I also appreciate, @safetyshield, that you presented other possibilities that may contribute to a child’s behavior. Both of you strongly suggest professional consultation. Thank you!

Let’s keep top of mind the mission of this community – to help people connect to others for information and support. In this discussion, our first concern is offering support to Arenz101.

@blindeyepug

I totally agree that more testing be done – absolutely! By a licensed physiologist. Though masturbating is part of normal child development, excessive masturbation is not – neither is “kissing down there”. Do NOT let your daughter do this to your other daughter again. There are BIG signs that this child has been sexually abused. I do not believe I am jumping the gun at all. No one wants to believe or talk about their child possibly being abused. Do not blow it off and deem it is NOT abuse. See the professionals – they will be able to help you and your daughter. Too many times this type of thing gets brushed under the rug. The signs are there. PLEASE get your daughter to a licensed psychologist. I do not like to divulge too much about myself on these sites, but let’s just say not only am I a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, my work is in the field of law. I have seen these type of cases again and again. Please keep us updated on how you and your daughter are doing. You are both in my prayers.

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blindeyepug, I will no longer respond to your hostile remarks and tone

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