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viv

Lost a loved one to murder

Posted by @viv in Mental Health, May 14, 2012

I lost the love of my life to murder almost 20 years ago. Is there anyone out there that can relate at all? I just wish I could find someone that can relate to what I have experienced. Tim was the love of my life; my soul mate. I believe I had been born to love him and did not believe I could survive without him. My Dad died suddenly less than a year after Tim was murdered so I feel that compounded the situation. No closure; no acceptance. Still wish he was here. Thank you.

Tags: mental health, Other

China and Roxie43 like this
lizkat

Posted by @lizkat, May 14, 2012

Hi Viv
I am so sorry for your loss.
Just lending you my support
LizKat

Nanna9 and Roxie43 like this
viv

Posted by @viv, May 14, 2012

Thank you.

Anonymous likes this
roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, May 15, 2012

Hello Viv,
I'm so sorry for your loss. I have never lost a love one to murder but my daughters father lost his favorite cousin to a murder. Stabbed to death. I can still remember accompanying him to the wake. I think that you're amazing that still til this day you still feel so much love. Any loss of life, especially unexpected, can stir up so many unresolved feelings. I hope that you are going to a survivors group because it sounds like you could benefit from being with others whom have lost a loved one in such a tragic way.
I'll keep you in my thoughts and check in daily if you need me and the other wonderful members.
Sincerely,
Roxie

Anonymous likes this
viv

Posted by @viv, May 22, 2012

Thank you.

joehamilton

Posted by @joehamilton, May 15, 2012

Sorry to hear about your loss Viv, I have not experienced what you have been through, but my mom just passed away three weeks ago at the age of 56. She had lung cancer and I'm so lost without her, she was my best friend, my mother and my kids grandmother. I just wish the pain would go away. Thank you for posting.

viv

Posted by @viv, May 22, 2012

I am sorry about your Mom. Death is so hard. I remember wanting the pain to go away. Hang in there Joe.

Nanna9 likes this
china

Posted by @china, May 15, 2012

OMG sorry. came 2 the right place 🙂

viv

Posted by @viv, May 22, 2012

Thanks China.

piglit

Posted by @piglit, May 15, 2012

Hi Viv. I',m sorry for what youv'e been through and for your loss. Always here if you need me Piglit

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, May 15, 2012

Are you ok Viv?
Rox

viv

Posted by @viv, May 22, 2012

Sometimes the feelings pop up to the surface. This week is better than last week. Thanks. How are you?

Nanna9 likes this
roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, May 23, 2012

Dear,
When memories pop up try to think of happy one's not the tragic ones.
Easier said than done I know
Piglit tells me to distract myself and it does help.
Hugs,
Rox

Nanna9 likes this

Posted by Anonymous-c27acfee, May 17, 2012

Dear Viv,
I am very sorry for what you have gone through, but you really need to resolve this problem. I feel certain that Tim would NOT want to have been grieving all these years. Most of us have lost loved ones through ways that are MOST difficult to accept...but you have to remember that Tim was enveloped in love and freedom in his soul and would WANT you to get on with your life and enjoy yourself...Live, Love, and Laugh. Those on the Other Side are not flattered or happy about our being miserable on THIS side...I really feel that you would benefit with counseling...You are going to have to be WILLING to let go of feelings that have become addictive and habitual. Please believe me ... I do not mean to sound 'mean'... but in order to get past things, one has to own the truth of what is going on inside of us. Even soulmates are still individuals... even though you may not be convinced of this. Please, please get counseling...after 20 yrs of refusing to let go, I think you know that this has become a necessity. You DESERVE to have peace and joy in your life. IF YOU WANT TO. You are going to have to WANT to before you can take even the first of any successful steps. We ALL wish you well, I am sure you know that. Good luck.

Nanna9 likes this
china

Posted by @china, May 17, 2012

I agree. U deserve 2 be happy.

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viv

Posted by @viv, May 22, 2012

Thank you Anonymous. You have spoken truth. My sadness has defined me for so long. Unhealthy, I know. I do not think your words are mean...they were written with concern and caring. Thank you.

Nanna9 likes this

Posted by Anonymous-c27acfee, May 23, 2012

Thank YOU for taking it all the way I meant it...I know what its like to feel so swallowed up in grief that you wonder if there is even a tunnel to see the light from!! But there IS, Viv...there really is!! I am sure you are a WONDERFUL person, filled with love and others would so much like to get in on that!! Its __OK__ to Let Go... I have had to learn that lesson myself more than once. Just intend to find a few Little Things every day to be happy about --and it will start growing. Be EASY on yourself --no time limits...Be as kind to yourselfr as I am sure you are to others!
Sending you love and a big hug and wishing you JOY!!

piglit

Posted by @piglit, May 21, 2012

Hi viv, youv.e been in my thoughts too Take care Piglit x0

Roxie43 likes this
viv

Posted by @viv, May 22, 2012

Hi Piglit. Thanks. I tend to isolate. Thank you for thinking of me.

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, May 30, 2012

Dear Viv,
Just checking in to see how you're doing. I think of you often and I hope that you are allowing yourself to finally heal and seeking happiness.
Hugs,
Rox

piglit

Posted by @piglit, May 31, 2012

Hi Viv, just to let you know that your in my thoughts here anytime if you need me Piglit

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jun 2, 2012

Hello Dear,
You have also been in my thoughts. Survival's guilt can cause a lot of inner turmoil. It's been two decades and he would want you to love again. You can still cherish and love hin but please don't deny yourself a little normalcy.
Hugs,
Rox

Nanna9 likes this
piglit

Posted by @piglit, Jun 3, 2012

Hi viv, Just to let you know that you have been in my thoughts. Here for you anytime you need me Piglit

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