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lynn08
@lynn08

Posts: 3
Joined: Jul 05, 2016

Looking for help with alcohol abuse

Posted by @lynn08, Jul 5, 2016

Nothing against AA, just hoping to do this on my own. Any suggestions?

REPLY

Hi @lynn08. Congratulations on admitting your problem and seeking help! That is great start. You don’t give much info on the history of your alcoholism. Would you be comfortable doing so? Additional information regarding how many years you have been drinking and how frequently you drink might help others to respond to your question. Also, have you sought any other type of help such as insight oriented psychotherapy/counseling, etc.? Family history can also play a role in alcoholism. If you are comfortable sharing more info, please do so. Best wishes!

Thank you @hopeful33250. Let’s see. There was hardly any alcohol in our home growing up. A glass of wine at Thanksgiving, maybe. Mom didn’t drink at all. I never drank until I was in college; overdid it some weekends, like most of my friends. After college, I would go out for happy hour with co-workers on Fridays. I started drinking nightly after I was first married. Stopped during my two pregnancies, but gradually, for the last 18 years have been drinking several glasses of wine a night; sometimes (often) a whole bottle. Scared myself yesterday–started drinking bloody marys after doing some yardwork, and lost the whole afternoon. I have had counseling, although not for this. There is some alcohol use on my dad’s side, and once he gave up smoking began drinking–starting with cocktail hours and up until bedtime. This wasn’t until his 60’s, but my mom mentioned concerns about my grandfather. My dad is now ill with lung cancer; i’ve been divorced 5 years (not related to the alcohol–I think the alcohol helped the feelings of inadequacy I experienced for the whole of my marriage). I think that’s it for now. Thanks again for the response.

@lynn08

Thank you @hopeful33250. Let’s see. There was hardly any alcohol in our home growing up. A glass of wine at Thanksgiving, maybe. Mom didn’t drink at all. I never drank until I was in college; overdid it some weekends, like most of my friends. After college, I would go out for happy hour with co-workers on Fridays. I started drinking nightly after I was first married. Stopped during my two pregnancies, but gradually, for the last 18 years have been drinking several glasses of wine a night; sometimes (often) a whole bottle. Scared myself yesterday–started drinking bloody marys after doing some yardwork, and lost the whole afternoon. I have had counseling, although not for this. There is some alcohol use on my dad’s side, and once he gave up smoking began drinking–starting with cocktail hours and up until bedtime. This wasn’t until his 60’s, but my mom mentioned concerns about my grandfather. My dad is now ill with lung cancer; i’ve been divorced 5 years (not related to the alcohol–I think the alcohol helped the feelings of inadequacy I experienced for the whole of my marriage). I think that’s it for now. Thanks again for the response.

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@lynn08 Thanks for providing some background. Let me first qualify by saying that I have not had personal experiences with chemical addictions which you have described. I have, however, seen addictions “up close and personal” in the lives of family and friends. Once again I want to applaud you for beginning your journey of healing by admitting your problem. One thing I have learned about addictions in general is that healing is more likely to occur in the context of relationship. That is why AA offers hope and healing to so many. You mention that you really don’t want to go to an AA group. Are you aware of your reasons for this? If you care to share, I’m all “ears.” As healing from addictions occurs best in the context of relationships, is there another way to get support for yourself through other groups or with an individual (either professional help or support from someone else who has walked the road)? You mention that you want to do this “on your own.” That might be a problem for you. I recommend support of some type. Keep in touch and let me know how everything is going for you. Teresa

@lynn08 thank you for being so honest and sharing about your struggles with alcohol. I’m tagging a few other Connect members to join the discussion. @kathyzendner @ellgi @rosemarya all have family members who have dealt with alcohol addiction and may have additional experiences to offer and thoughts to add.

While one could direct you to AA, Rational Recovery, or elsewhere, my suggestion is to speak with a qualified addiction therapist to help you understand your concerns, beliefs and options in a safe setting.

@lynn08 I’ve been thinking about you. How are you doing? Any new thoughts to share as you make the journey to sobriety? We care, keep in touch. Teresa

@lynn08 It’s been awhile since I’ve seen a post from you. I hope that all is going well for you. Please check-in and let us know how you are. Best wishes!

@hopeful33250

@lynn08 It’s been awhile since I’ve seen a post from you. I hope that all is going well for you. Please check-in and let us know how you are. Best wishes!

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Hi. Thanks for checking. In my original post I shared that I really wanted to try this outside of group setting, but the those who responded all advocated a group, anyway. Since I haven’t changed my mind and didn’t have anything to add; I haven’t posted.
It was very nice of you to reach out though. Thanks.

@hopeful33250

@lynn08 It’s been awhile since I’ve seen a post from you. I hope that all is going well for you. Please check-in and let us know how you are. Best wishes!

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@lynn08 Thanks for checking in Lynn: Please remember that Mayo Connect represents a support group. You can also find some online support groups that deal with addictions. You might want to check out Smart Recovery. They offer support through writings and blogs. Support can come in many forms! http://www.smartrecovery.org/

@hopeful33250

@lynn08 It’s been awhile since I’ve seen a post from you. I hope that all is going well for you. Please check-in and let us know how you are. Best wishes!

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@lynn08, Bless you for your strength and courage. Remember that ‘one foot in front of the other – day after day’ will get you up and over the top of a high mountain. I want you to keep moving in the direction of your goal.
Rosemary

@rosemarya How very kind of you, Rosemary!

@lynn08 Hello Lynn: I hope that all is going well as you attempt to solve your problem with alcoholism on your own. Let us hear from you and tell us how you are doing. Have you done any journaling? Journaling is one of those individual type of therapies that doesn’t require anyone else. However, as you journal (especially when you are facing stress and find yourself drawn to drink) you can find out a lot about what feelings and thoughts move you towards alcohol. Just a thought. Would enjoy hearing from you at your convenience. Keep in touch!

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