Long-term depression

Posted by seeker70 @seeker70, Oct 11, 2017

I have been depressed, when I think about it, since I was a kid (I”m a senior now!) I have been treated off and on with meds and minimal talk therapy, but nothing changes. In the past it has been underlying but as I grow older it is becoming more intense. People ask: ‘why are you depressed? I never get depressed, just get a better attitude’. Or they don’t hear my (probably passive-aggressive) cries for help. Or they say: ‘what do you have to be depressed about?’ Actually although I agree with these opinions to a certain extent, it does not address the problem that depression is not a ‘why’, not is it a ‘choice’. It’s almost like being gay, you just are. Maybe I should just accept it (guess that’s what I have done for decades 🙂 But I don’t want to. I want to feel better now. Earlier in my life I was able to enjoy things, although the depression would keep popping out. But now I seem to have trouble enjoying anything, including my own family, and it’s harder and harder to ‘push depression down’ once it’s popped. So I have longer periods of depression and sadness and sleeplessness and lonliness, an shorter periods of being able to enjoy my life. Or want something. Or look forward to anything. I will say too that I have as much to be happy about as I do to be unhappy – but as I said, it’s not a ‘why’. I’m looking for people to explore this idea, and to help each other begin to overcome. Or maybe it’s just me and there’s no one else who feels this way — 😉 Thank you for reading all this.

@parus

@sharlynn62 I am 66 and there is nothing anyone else can do. It is up to me. If I cannot use my CBT skills then what else is there? I am 66 and I do not mention the “D” word to anyone. I feel like a leper in society. I surely will get back on track. Currently I lack the desire to even try. Yup, listening to the depression demon. Native Americans left the tribe when they were no longer of value. Welcome to my pitiful world.

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@mamasitalucita

What an interesting collection of diagnoses – ADHD and Autism Spectrum. I'm sure that you will be able to help a lot of people as a Certified Pastoral Counselor and Autism Advocate. I've been a Stephen Minister for many years and I know how it has helped me to care for myself and others.

Keep sharing – your thoughts are very helpful to our discussions!

Teresa

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I need to check into finding another therapist. Another will likely be of no help either. The work is mine to do. I have run dry as to how or what to do. Besides all therapists have been taught in the same way and the same things which has become so boring. It is me. Has to be as I read about others who get help.

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@mamacita

Just saw this. I am not the greatest at keeping up with my email. But I saw this, and recovery from the effects of depression is very important to me. I think that if you are a sensitive, intelligent person, depression can be a situational thing in response to the way our society has evolved. So many things not right in this world. So many memes on social media suggest that depression is easy to fix. Just get a better attitude. Focus on joy. On others. On yourself. On God. And to a certain extent they can be helpful. I am on the Autism Spectrum, and I have a lot of anxiety to deal with because I am very sensitive. I hear too well, see everything, feel everything. Smells, allergies, getting overwhelmed at too much stimuli. But I do have a great deal of happiness in my life, after all these years of trying to figure things out. I have a great counselor who I trust and I see her for a check up every once in a while. I understand myself better and so I protect myself from the things that are hurtful to me as much as possible. I take a fairly low dose of Cymbalta and practice mindfulness There are so many different things that can help. I hope you are feeling better and have found some things that work for you.

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Those of us with long term depression like do know it is not an easy fix and unfortunately cannot be fixed. We endeavor to learn how to live with this affliction. I am thankful for those who can and have been helped.

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@parus

Searching for a new therapist is a good idea. You are a very intelligent, creative and thoughtful person. Finding someone who can relate to those characteristics and be of help would be worth the effort.

Teresa

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@parus

I need to check into finding another therapist. Another will likely be of no help either. The work is mine to do. I have run dry as to how or what to do. Besides all therapists have been taught in the same way and the same things which has become so boring. It is me. Has to be as I read about others who get help.

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Don't be too hard on yourself. We are all different and the severity of our illness is different, plus exactly how we are effected is different. All we can do is to keep trying and hoping we find what works for us. Wishing you the best always in all you do. Hugs!

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@seeker70 I too have been depressed ever since I can remember, I think I was born depressed. I’ve had a few happy moments, but that’s about it.
I’ve been on anti depressants for quite a few years but I don’t think they are really helping me. No one understands that feeling of depression or they just chose to ignore not. I too am a senior, no motivation none whatsoever, no pleasure in doing anything, just existing.
So, I know exactly where you’re coming from. I wish there were more to life than this.

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Hello @jacklin

I see that this your first post on Connect. Welcome! I am pleased that you have posted about your depression. It is important to share these feelings with others in a community like this one. At Mayo Connect we seek to support and encourage those who join.

You mention that you have been on antidepressants for years without any noticeable help. Have you mentioned this to your doctor? Often a change of meds can be quite helpful. What activities have helped you in the past? Do you have any exercise outlets like walking, senior exercise groups, church groups, friends, etc.?

I understand that when you are depressed it is hard to motivate yourself to do these things, but it is nonetheless very important in order to feel better.

If you care to share more about yourself can you let us know if there have been any childhood or adult experiences that have made your depression worse? Please feel free to only share as you are comfortable doing so.

Recently a new member mentioned some of the ways that she deals with depression. Here is her post: Posted by @mamasitalucita

49% Cherokee and Choctaw here. I have had depression and anxiety since I was a very small child. I am not a member of a tribe yet, because I haven't taken the time to get that part of my life done. Depression is draining. I am so much better than I was. I finally found a really great counselor who believes in me. I practice mindfulness. I pray and meditate. I live gratitude and thankfulness. I have much to be thankful for and try to share what helps me with others. I hope that we have a chance to connect again. We can learn much from each other. We can help each other.

I would like to invite @mamasitalucita to join you in this conversation.

I look forward to hearing from you again @jacklin

Teresa

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@jacklin

@seeker70 I too have been depressed ever since I can remember, I think I was born depressed. I’ve had a few happy moments, but that’s about it.
I’ve been on anti depressants for quite a few years but I don’t think they are really helping me. No one understands that feeling of depression or they just chose to ignore not. I too am a senior, no motivation none whatsoever, no pleasure in doing anything, just existing.
So, I know exactly where you’re coming from. I wish there were more to life than this.

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ave you ever tried Meditation ? It can be slow to help but when it begins to help you it's pretty cool !

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@parus

@sharlynn62 I am 66 and there is nothing anyone else can do. It is up to me. If I cannot use my CBT skills then what else is there? I am 66 and I do not mention the “D” word to anyone. I feel like a leper in society. I surely will get back on track. Currently I lack the desire to even try. Yup, listening to the depression demon. Native Americans left the tribe when they were no longer of value. Welcome to my pitiful world.

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The term "toolbox" in reference to things we carry in our personality, skills we have, wisdom we have gained was coming into vogue at the end of my years in upper management. I love the way you use it to refer to things you use to combat anxiety and depression @mamasitalucita. I think I will borrow that if you don't mind when discussing with other people afflicted and when trying to explain to others what we all are attempting to do to make more people aware of the devastating effects of mental health deficiencies and what can be done about to help. Thanks for reminding me of the different use of the term.
Blessings, Gary

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Greetings, I am not new to the Mayo clinics site but I am new to this forum. I was dx with PTSD following a lifetime of abuse, naturally, depression comes with PTSD. I decided one day that I had had enough of feeling depressed and anxious, I went into my bedroom, shut the door, and I cried, I cursed, I prayed, I slept and when I woke up, it started all over again. In my case, my depression was caused by other people so in order to fully recover I needed to forgive those that hurt me.I finally forgave those people, but it wasn't easy, it took time to be able to forgive the monsters who had caused me so much grief and pain, but I am here to tell you there IS life after abuse.I still deal with depression and anxiety but it is very controlled. What helps me the most now is knowing my God the way I do. I know without a doubt that he will be there for me and every day, several times a day, I count my blessings and yes I have been truly blessed. I am 70 years old now. It took till I was in my late 40s and 50s to get a real grasp on life, but. I now own my own home, my car is paid for and I am a retired nurse. I've come along way from the scared, fragile, nervous woman I had become, to, the calm, self-caring, loving woman I am today. My life was in utter shambles for the first 40 years of my life, depression, and anxiety was all I knew. My hate and distrust ruled my life, but now I use that hate and distrust to my advantage by forgiving but not forgetting and using caution with people and places that just don't feel right. I have come to recognize my own strengths and weaknesses. I have stood up and challenged the world, I will never allow myself to be beaten down again, I will only invite loving, caring, people into my world, I surround myself with the beauty I love, things that make me feel good, things that give me the most pleasure and I remember, I am a strong woman but I could not have done it without my higher power. God by any other name is still God. I hope my story has helped at least one person. I have so much to share, so many ideas and strategies and so many experiences. I will be back. Thanks for reading this post..My name is Jeanie.

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I saw a woman going by while I was in a restaurant who wore a t shirt that read " I don't do depression!" It stuck in my brain as something very unique.

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Hi Seeker70- I can really relate to how you are feeling. I am a nurse and off to work now at a psychiatric hospital. (I guess seeing people suffering worse than I am gives me a dose of my reality) Like you, looking back to teenage years, I realize I wasn't happy. And all through these past 30+ years- on and off. You did not mention if you are taking any medications or going to talk therapy?? I will write again later. Take care, K

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