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invincible9
@invincible9

Posts: 1
Joined: May 17, 2017

Living alone. Making new friends at my age.

Posted by @invincible9, May 17, 2017

I’m a divorced man. Just turned 70 but no major heath problems. I have 2 children and 4 grand children. They love me but always very busy. I stated taking a anti-anxiety med years ago. This isn’t my home town. Moved here 10 years ago to be close to my children but left behind many friends. Now I find it hard to make new friends. I’m not into religion but open to things I can do to make friends, talk, do things. I find the main problem is people don’t want to talk to the guy who is alone. A few weeks ago my daughter took me out for my birthday. Had a great time. Even young people were talking to me but I think that was just because I was with my daughter. I need to meet and talk to people. Any idea’s?

REPLY

I similar problem which would love to talk wtih you about but I don’t know where you live. I am in New York City.

@invincible9 Welcome to Mayo Connect! We are so glad that you have joined our online patient support community. I’m sorry to hear that you are dealing with loneliness. Unfortunately, this is a common problem for many of our members who have moved from their home town to be near children. Perhaps we can share some ideas with you. In order for us to get to know you better, please share with us (as you are comfortable) some of your interests. For example, do you enjoy sports, playing cards, running, what type of work did you do before retirement etc.? Perhaps we can help you tap into your interests so that you can find friendships and opportunities to socialize. We look forward to hearing from you again. Teresa

Hi @invincible9 I am Scott. Mid 60’s and a recent widower. Nice to e-meet you. I am in a similar situation having moved to a new community just before my wife was diagnosed with brain cancer and I became her full time caregiver. No local friends, so I have focused on renewing several acquaintances from my past. Many of whom I have years of catching up to do. It has proven to be rewarding for both parties. I find I then enjoy and appreciate my quiet alone time more fully. I also never end one trip without placing a new replacement onto my calendar so I always have some future event to look forward to, even if it is just cooking dinner with our daughter who lived about an hour away.

I also have become active on Connect sharing my experiences with others electronically.

Peace and strength.

@IndianaScott

Hi @invincible9 I am Scott. Mid 60’s and a recent widower. Nice to e-meet you. I am in a similar situation having moved to a new community just before my wife was diagnosed with brain cancer and I became her full time caregiver. No local friends, so I have focused on renewing several acquaintances from my past. Many of whom I have years of catching up to do. It has proven to be rewarding for both parties. I find I then enjoy and appreciate my quiet alone time more fully. I also never end one trip without placing a new replacement onto my calendar so I always have some future event to look forward to, even if it is just cooking dinner with our daughter who lived about an hour away.

I also have become active on Connect sharing my experiences with others electronically.

Peace and strength.

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Scott, That is a really neat idea to have a replacement activity when you finish a trip!
Rosemary

Golf. Seriously, everyone talks on a golf course; and, if you are alone, you are always invited to join a three person group or another single person so things move along faster. My husband golfs (I don’t). He is 62 and has met more people golfing! You can always golf public courses (that is usually what my husband does). It does not have to be an expensive hobby. You even get in good exercise – lots of walking. Either that, or volunteer for some thing for which you have a passion – Habitat Humanity, a soup kitchen, a dog or cat nonprofit, even your local zoo. There are lots of opportunities to meet new people. Be open, asks lots of questions and listen more than talk. You will have a bunch of new friends in no time! Remember to invite people you meet over for a meal or bar-b-q. Good luck to you!

Hello @invincible9 Thanks for starting this discussion. I see that a few Connect members have responded to your post. I hope that they have been helpful to you. Teresa

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