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Is Living Better Without the "Cures"?
A follow up CT for an aortic aneurysm showed two masses on the pancreas. A biopsy confirmed malignancy and chemotherapy was recommended. Up to this point he had no symptoms of a cancerous condition and felt pretty healthy. The six chemo sessions came with side effects: nausea, loss of appetite/weight loss, fatigue. Long story short, the chemo didn’t shrink the pancreatic masses and a total pancreatectomy was performed. Now he’s diabetic, still losing weight, still fatigued, short of breath, and miserable, and questioning if this was all worth it: he never had any symptoms that anything major was wrong and it feels like the “cures” only make his quality of life less than desirable. I’ve read that pancreatic cancer can be aggressive and I feel that we “caught” his condition early, but was it worth it? He’s miserable, can’t do much physically, and is tired after mild exertion. Not happy living this way. More chemo has been recommended with probable additional side effects. I don’t want to lose him, but it’s difficult rationalizing the “cures” when he’s obviously so miserable. He and I are wondering if a possibly shorter, but
normal” life would be the better option. Has anyone else experienced this?
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A very difficult situation. I'm sorry you are faced with this.
My father had open-heart surgery. The operation itself was successful, but it triggered cascading organ failure. After six weeks in intensive care, he passed away.
Near the end, he wished he hadn't bothered with the surgery. His last days were very unpleasant.
That was 26 years ago. I still miss him, but I do wish he could have passed more comfortably.
It's a tough decision that only individuals can make.
I talk about the "Years in your life versus life in your years" topic in my latest YouTube episode:
https://m.youtube.com/watch
Whatever you decide, I hope it brings you both peace.
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4 ReactionsSo much to think about, it's helpful knowing we're not alone in these feelings. Thank you for taking the time to share.
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2 ReactionsLife hands us such difficult issues to deal with. You’ll find much empathy from others here grappling with similar tough questions.
The Pancreatic Cancer group is very helpful. Folks that have dealt with many of the same issues, weight loss, fatique, a major change in life style. Yet, I find that group one of the most positive groups here. Their experiences may guide you.
On the Aging Well support group there is a post called Dying Well. People there are discussing quality of life over treatments that change the life they’ve loved.
Best wishes to you!
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5 ReactionsI've already discovered the pancreatic cancer group...appreciate the input, though.
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1 Reaction@triciaot Thanks for information. Where can I find the Aging Well support group?
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1 Reaction@triciaot Nevermind...found it 🙂
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2 ReactionsI'm so sorry that you are dealing with this! My husband had lung cancer and the chemotherapy and Keytruda almost killed him. After that he said no more treatments. He just ate healthy and healthy eating for my husband was good quality red meat and we prayed a lot. My husband lived for 14 more years with Stage 4 lung cancer! He had some uncomfortableness due to the cancer such as shortness of breath. However, his life was almost normal. He died in 2024 at age 83. However, I think that if he had continued the "treatments" he would have died sooner and in more pain. Another factor regarding the treatments is price. Keytruda cost $25,000 per infusion! The hospital didn't like giving that up.
It might be a good idea for your husband to take a break from all treatments for a while and just give his body a chance to recuperate. Do keep in mind that it's your husband's body and his money. He makes the decision what will be done to his body. Not the doctor. The doctor can reccommend things but that's all.
Prayer also helps. Just ask God for direction. He made your husband and he can fix him! I'll say a prayer for him also.
I wish you the best.
PML
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4 ReactionsThank you so much for sharing your and your husband's experience after "treatment". I think my husband's nearing the point of taking time to recuperate before starting any new chemo. He's lost 50 lbs. since December when he began this journey and he's tired of being tired, tired of not being hungry, tired of losing weight. You're so right: it's time to consider a "break".
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4 ReactionsI’m sorry to hear about this. I’m not really good with words so I’ll try my best. I was diagnosed in October 2025 with advanced gallbladder cancer that travel to my abdomen and liver and I think lymph nodes they gave me about a year with treatment and 4 to 6 months without treatment. knock on wood I haven’t had any side effects besides nauseous and tired. I had two different types of chemo and immunotherapy now the next thing is TRABECTA it’s a pill and then there’s nothing left. I looked online and it says the chemo still in my body, but I’ve been feeling fine. I want to be here for my family, but with everything that’s going on with him that’s a very hard decision. I would just put my hands in the heavens above take a break from the chemo and see what happens. There isn’t a cure for cancer and who knows we could die tomorrow. Good luck with everything.
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6 Reactions@kimmie25
I'm so sorry to hear about your cancer. That's sad. However, I think you are doing a good thing by putting your trust in God and just let him handle everything. He made you and he can fix you! God states in the Bible, "I give life and I take it away." You are right you could die tomorrow. l think you are correct in taking a break from any treatment for a while.
I'll say a prayer for you.
I wish you the best.
PML
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6 Reactions