Feeling on the bright side of darkness today despite PTSD history

Hi

Horses can be very therapeutic for you. Keep looking on the bright side. Checkout some positive websites, music and whatever else you need to help yourself stay in a better frame of mind. You can also exercise more, get out in the sunshine and steer clear of those people that drag you down. Make a list of your encouragers, those that uplift you and help you toward your goals and spend time around them. If you have others that are discouragers in your life, you may need to remove yourself from some relationships. Unfortunately, we women don't always know when to quit.

Couldn't you get medical assistance for surgery or treatment?

I just started ECT a couple of weeks ago. Although, I am still dealing with past and recent trauma, I can say for the first time in years that I am hopeful again. I will admit that I was so scared at first but now I know that I needed something other than a pill (never worked or made me really big). Give it a try, it is safe and I really have not had any side effects.

My first diagnosis is PSTD. Most people don't understand that even if you weren't in a "war" you can still suffer from it. Maybe they would undrstand were they a fly on the wall of the hell hole I was raised in. Haha! It's not really a laughing matter even though laughter is most ly the medicine I use. I got lucky and married a guy who is side splitting funny. "Thank God". I Also have been diagnosed with Psoriatic arthris, and Osteo, as well as Fibromyalgia. The last one is my favorite becaus it is as unpredictable as PSTD, only you understand what is going on when you have a flare up and it is not that way with PSTD.LOL! PSTD is a plague for me. It has cost me alot of time with family and friends. I have invisioned blowing my brains out at times, BUT only because that thought is a distraction from the anxiety involved in this thing. How do you deal with this? PSTD? How do you explain it to your 24 year old? I just started seeing a therapist for the first time in 20 years. The last time I tried to see one, and make sense of this, I got lost in all the symptoms I was looking for and it would creep up on me again. I am an artist, writing, drawing music, and anything that is creative, and so I thought that getting this therapist that has been certified in Art Therapy would be great for me. So, here is round two for me at 46 years old. How do you suffer from PSTD, Or why rather?
Who here can relate to the loss of friendship, or "I guess the absense of it, and therefore you are lonely?

how do i deal with it? Well when im able to deal with it its almost a miracle. I cry to the point of howling. to kill the pain. I pray, I walk I reason. when Im able. I let reason rule over my mood, but it isnt easy . It hits me like an attack almost. My only salvation is the realization that the feeling will pass, and that I know im adding energy to the feeling causing me to feel worse, Then Im able to reason my way out of it by use of cliches everyone uses, like its always dark before the light, and this too shall pass. I found a scripture today. A heart that is full of carnal desires shall never love anything pure, Another one I cant quite remember it goes something like this. Knowing the cause of evil , can stop the wicked result of that evil, . ... For example to know that low self esteem leads to jealousy. therefore if you want to be un jealous simply work of your self esteem. That one helped me get through a whole day of no phone calls to my boyfriend. It was still however a rough day, but I promised myself I wouldnt call him, and I didnt.

So true. Im guilty of that just took my boyfriend back after he monitarily, and physically abused me. I dont know why, but I have low self esteem, and dont know too many people out here. Ive been praying for a miracle, and actually believing its going to happen. ive been praying for god to restore my self esteem, and my health, and his as well. theres a gap in our relationship, Im not sure why, but 90 percent of the time I do feel loved by him, no excuses for him though. he messed up and I called the cops and he did time for it. AM I nuts- well I can answer that with a big yes. but i dont have the will or inclination to let it all go just yet, ROUND 2.

I wish. go figure. Im a widow with ptsd, a history of bullemia, borderline personality disorder, electric shock treatment side effects of memory loss., suicidal tendencies. i was given a hernia by one of my ex boyfriends, then butchered by a surgeon who accidentaly severed a nerve he wasnt supposed to, and I have an income of 1000 dollars a month, no food stamps, no job because I have no paristalsis in my colon. and dont qualify for medicaid.

Thank-you for sharing bit of your personal story. I can relate and would be happy to share with you my own as well as my "how to" on surviving with capacity to enjoy the journey. Wishing You well!
V

I never thought about divorce. I was in a terrible car accident broke my neck. The area was cervical 2 and3. I also had other problems and surgeries. That high up means death but I am dealing with a lot of pain now and I have no deficits. My marriage was hell, probably like yours. The reason I mention the car accident is because it was God who intervened. I am stubborn and never give up. That accident I saw the beast I married. I have depression but I call it my blue day. I allow two hours of self pity and crying, then I go back to living. Try that, it works. You are not alone we are your friends and love you. Do not give up on your self. These black days will leave.