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I think I might be depressed; how do I ask my mom for help?

Posted by @moniemac2111 in Mental Health, Sep 12, 2012

I've had a rough year. I'm currently 21 years old, and have been a full time College student for the past two years. In August of 2011 I was diagnosed with a heart muscle disease and a week later had to get surgery for a pacemaker. I've been on increasing higher levels of medication since. Since then lost my job of six months four months after the surgery. Also that month I learned that I couldn't continue my chosen Degree because of my condition, the strain on my heart would have been too much for the very fast paced and demanding course set. Since then my school career has fallen apart, to the point I was suspended for a low GPA this semester. I never spoke to my mother about my problems so when she found out she was, of course, angry, betrayed; all of the above. It's been two weeks now I've been floundering around wondering what to do, and I've probably dropped the ball several times when I should be getting a job and fixing my mistakes, right?
I spoke with my mom recently about the school issue. Her talking to me normally manages to kick me back into gear, but something she jokingly brought up honestly made me think - do I need to talk to someone? I've thought back on my year, and can honestly say I might have a problem.
Websites say the next step would be to talk to my mom about this, and see a doctor, get professionally diagnosed and seek help. Thing is my mom would most likely laugh in my face. What do I do?

Tags: depression, mental health


Posted by @mouser, Sep 12, 2012

You do what you feel is right for you no matter what other people think. In regards to school, there are a lot of people out there who have troubles and screw up their GPA. I know a guy who almost failed high school who is now a pharmacist. When your original dream doesn't work out, sometimes we need to look for new dreams. This is very difficult, and easier said than done. If it helps to see someone about it, do that too. Good luck with everything.

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Posted by @piglit, Sep 12, 2012

Hi Moniemac2111 so true what mouser has stated. In life at times we are faced with many different challenges and we need to deal with them as the venture before us. Take one step at a time I call them my fairy steps and follow your dreams if this one hasn't worked for you another one will be waiting. I'm sure that your Mum is just concerned for you which is only natural for a Mum and that she will be supportive of you Take care my dear always here anytime Piglit

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Posted by @bettyann, Sep 12, 2012

I am so sorry you are going through this. I totally agree with what Mouser and Piglit had to say. Stope being so hard on yourself...please... You sound like a super nice person and YOU BET one day you will realilze many dreams.
I think the websites gave you some ideas and I would check into all of them... You need to start thinking about #1 ...which is YOU. I know your mother loves you and cares for you...but you cannot be afraid to strike out on your own and make your OWN decisions regardless of what she or anybody else thinks.
Do what you REALLY want to do! Follow your heart and don't live your life trying to please ANYbody else...
Good luck to you!

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Posted by @athome, Sep 13, 2012

Dear friend,
I'm an educator. You can go back to school. Every college has a Disability Department; I used to work in a couple, UC Berkeley, and Merritt College in the San Francisco Bay Area. You can re-enroll as a disabled student and choose ANY program you wish as the college has to, by law, accommodate your special needs.
AND having a pace maker and heart disease qualifies you as having a legitimate disability.
First, start with an appointment with your cardiologist. Tell him/her, you want to go back to school. Have them fill out the necessary paper work that designates you as having a medically necessary adapted school schedule. If you had a student loan, you can go on medical deferment. You are an adult, so I would suggest seeing your doctor first, who then can explain to your mother that all kinds of things occur with heart problems, including mood changes and behavior changes. If your mother can't or won't be emotionally available, the medical community and groups of people with heart disease are. There are people with handicaps who are doing amazing things in amazing just need the right people on your side. Right now it's the medical community. Of course probably are clinically depressed; your cardiologist can help here too. I am rooting for you. If you are back in school, remember accommodations must be made so you can achieve your goals, in whatever field you choose.
There are psychiatrists and psychologists who specialize in working with people who have physical disabilities or health issues. Go to the NAMI website and try to find someone in your area. Good luck and keep us all informed.

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Posted by @allanhoffman3, Sep 30, 2012

I certainly can see from what you are writing here that you might benefit from talking over your past year with a professional trained person in mental health counseling - ie. an LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker), psychologist or mental health clinician, if neccessary they can refer you to a psychiatrist for medication. It sounds from your writing here, that you have experienced a lot of change recently (last year) and have been experiencing increased anxiety and increasing challenges over the last year. For this reason, here is a link to an inventory to get you started on exploring your personal situation


Posted by @amk, Nov 12, 2012

Talk to your mom...don't wait another minute! That's what moms are for and no one can provide the sort of guidance that a mother can. Do not deal with this alone when help and relief could begin with one small conversation with your mom. She will be honored that you are comfortable confiding in her and you will suddenly feel as if the tremendous weight you've been carrying has been lifted. So tomorrow, not next week. Now. I will keep you in my thoughts and hope all will be well.

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